Ally McBeal quotes from Ally McBeal

Ally McBeal

I'm not sure how it all started. Oh, it was because I smelled his bottom.It wasn 't that stupid. Dogs did it. That's how they knew for sure.

Ally

Elaine, you look like Hannibal Lecter.

Ally

She's my hero. She's vicious, I disagree with almost everything she says, she treats me like dirt, and somehow she's my hero.

Ally McBeal

Could I... uh could I have your attention please. About 40 minutes ago, um Billy Thomas passed away. [Pause, stunned silence in the office] Uh, he went quiet - - quietly and peaceful. [Walks away]

Ally McBeal

[Giving Billy's eulogy] I've heard it said, that as you're about to pass into the next world, the final truth of this world... hits you. And the last thing Billy spoke about, right before he sat down in the courthouse, was love. How it was all that mattered. He um... He seemed so lost in these last few months, but looking at him in the courthouse right before he died, he... He suddenly seemed so... found. He um, said to me, recently, he said, 'It's stronger than death.' And I wasn't sure what he meant. And now I am. When we were little, we would talk about this day... Well actually, we would sing about it. He would sing this song: 'And when I die... and when I'm gone... there'll be one child born... in a world, to carry on.' And that child... that child has big shoes to fill. [Looks up at Billy directly, then continues] Billy Thomas, With all of my heart... Forever. [She then returns to addressing the rest of the mourners, then smiles] Oh, and uh... As for Heaven? [Then slams her fist into the palm of her hand, and the opening of "A New Man in Town" explodes into the church as the choir rises to sing and the mourners begin to dance and clap, celebrating the life of Billy Thomas]

Ally McBeal

I have a friend who refuses to get a pet because he says in the end they die and it's just too hard... maybe it's the same with relationship.

Ally McBeal

Jenny, the wrong ones can't hurt you. But the right ones, they're the killers.

Ally McBeal

Prejudice comes in smooth reads, by the way, because bigots cannot spell.

Ally McBeal

How do you care about someone within minutes of meeting them?

Ally McBeal

You've seen me dance. Now watch me fornicate.

Ally McBeal

Okay, the- the- buttock, the- the CONTRACT called for no minimum.

Ally McBeal

How many couples do you know go to the Caribbean to have polite sex?

It's not like we were having so much fun talking. You barely said a poop. Victor quickly intervenes, Peep.

Ally McBeal

[As she walks backwards] Looking backwards, many of the saddest times in my life turn out to be the happiest. So I must be happy now. Yeah. This is gonna be good. Why else would I be crying?

Ally McBeal

There's no sin in loving men. Only pain!