Elaine Vassal quotes from Ally McBeal

Elaine Vassal

[Flirting with Santa Claus actor] I had a dream last night that Santa kept coming down my chimney. Over and over and over again.

Elaine

That was with all due respect?

Elaine

A lot of people forget what they're saying in a fit of rage, so I'll be happy to take the minutes.

Elaine

Sometimes she just looks snappish.

Elaine

That was a snappish remark disguised in a soft tone.

Elaine

I'm sure she's quite stupid, and in time, gravity will get her.

Elaine

She's two-thirds of a Rice Krispie treat. She's already snapped, and crackled, and she's ready for the final pop.

Elaine

Oh, forgive my bluntness. It's a device I use to cope.

Elaine Vassal

In a pinch, I sometimes allude to not wearing any underwear.

Ally McBeal

I won't be in that pinch.

Elaine Vassal

[After hearing that Ally broke up with Glenn] Oh, Ally, I just want you to know that I am here for you.

Ally McBeal

Yes, and what am I gonna do about that?

Elaine Vassal

Sorry I'm late.

Oh, Elaine, you can go first - since some of us seem to be resistant. Now, specifically what do you look for in a man?

John Cage

A pulse and a penis. Not necessarily in that order.