Harry Solomon quotes from 3rd Rock from the Sun

Dick

How can we honor the memory of a man like Leonard Hanlin? well......he was governed by the laws of physics as are all living things. it is a scientific fact that hearts and clocks slow down as they approach the speed of light, the point at which matter is converted into energy. Dr. Hanlin's heart approached that speed on friday evening at 7:57 according to the coroner, converting his matter into energy, into pure white light. Though he is no longer with us, he is all around us.

Mary

That was absolutely beautiful.

Tommy

Converting matter to energy?

Sally

Could you have been more trite?

Harry

Why didn't you just phone it in?

Sally

I'll give you your promotion if you don't say the word "really" in the next sixty seconds.

Harry

Really?

Excuse me, where can I find Aliens?

Harry

Nowhere! Not here, that's for sure. Nobody here but us humans. [in a nervous sing-song voice] La, la, la... la, la, la. [a beat] Stop looking at me!

Harry

I want to make the world a better place. I want to give mankind the gift... of electricity.

Tommy

They have electricity.

Harry

Ah, then my work is done!

Dick

You've got a thing in your head.

Harry

A thing?

Dick

Cranial micro receiver chip.

Harry

In my head.

Dick

But it's not in the part you use; it's in your brain.

Tommy

You're gonna be like some sort of alien Martin Luther King?

Harry

Exactly. Because I, too, have a dream. And in that dream I'm naked on a ferris wheel.

Tommy

Harry, I need a ride.

Harry

Nope.

Tommy

You know, I outrank you.

Harry

In that case... no, sir!

Tommy

I'll tell you what: if the Road Runner wins this next one, you take me, but if he doesn't... I'll never ask you again.

Harry

Okay, you're on. I've seem this next scheme before and it's far too brilliant to fail twice.

Mrs. Dubcek

He's got teeth coming in.

Harry

Well, don't worry; we'll sign for them.

Vicki

(after having sex with Harry on the kitchen table)...I've never felt this way before.

Harry

...I've never felt this sticky before.

Harry

Thank you for seeing me, Father. I didn't know where else to turn.

Well, that's why they pay me the big bucks.

Sally

You could never handle my job.

Harry

I could do it with my eyes closed!

Tommy

You do everything with your eyes closed.

Tommy

[about August] I don't understand her.

Sally

What's to understand? Kill her and get a new one.

Harry

Oh, no, you can't do that. You've got to get a new one and then you kill her.

Sally

The Official Boy Scouts' Guidebook. Who're the Boy Scouts?

Harry

They're an elite, prepubescent, paramilitary society and I'm going to follow their ways.

Sally

But Harry, you're neither elite nor prepubescent.

Harry

All in good time, Sally... all in good time.

Dick

You'll only have to perform the most basic of tasks. You've sent out mail before.

Harry

Nope.

Dick

Well, you've stapled before...

Harry

I have not.

Dick

Surely you've used a paperclip.

Harry

Oh! You mean those cotton things you put in your ears?

Dick

Harry, how many fingers am I holding up?

Harry

Two!

Dick

You're hired.