Harry Solomon quotes from 3rd Rock from the Sun

Harry, did I get any phone calls?

Harry

Oh, yes, it rang repeatedly.

And... who called?

Harry

Well, I don't know, Dick, I'm not clairvoyant.

S2 Will Work For Dick

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Sally, they want you to appear on Good Afternoon, Rutherford.

Harry

That's my second-favorite show!

What's your first-favorite?

Harry

Good Morning, Rutherford.

S2 Fifteen Minutes of Dick

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Harry

Look at the bright side, Dick: with Janet out of the way, maybe you'll get another shot at Albright.

You think?

Harry

Probably no. But hey, at least there's still the three of us.

Dick [slight pause]]: Wait, didn't there used to be four of us?

Harry

Oh, yeah! Officer Don called. "Tommy's in jail."

[Brief pause.]

DSDick, Sally, Harry

JAIL? [They panic and run out of the apartment.]

You idiots!

S3 Fun with Dick and Janet: Part 2

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Women.

Women.

Officer Don

Women.

Harry

[high-pitched voice] Women!

You can't live with 'em and you can't have heterosexual sex without 'em.

Harry

That's probably true.

S3 Tricky Dick

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[Harry is dressed as an alien for Halloween]

Mrs. Dubcek

Oh, Harry, you're an alien.

Harry

NO, I'M NOT! [realizing his costume] I mean, yes, I am.

S3 Scaredy Dick

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[Harry, with a camera, sneaks up behind August in school to get a photo of her]

August (noticing Harry): Harry?

Harry

I am not Harry.

August

What are you doing here? And what's with the camera?

Harry

What camera?

S3 Moby Dick

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My pants fit! I won the war!

Harry

That's great, Dick! So you lost weight?

Even better - I bought bigger pants!

S3 Moby Dick

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This ice cream is delicious.

Harry

[looking at the box] Actually, it's ‘sinfully delicious.' I would gladly go to Hell for a pint of this.

S3 Seven Deadly Clips

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Harry

(to Tommy and Dick) Boys, we're going to San Francisco!

MMascha

San Diego!

Harry

San Diego!

S3 36! 24! 36! Dick!: Part 2

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[Harry has taken over Tommy's job as Information Officer]

Harry, write this down. I need you to find a place--

Harry

W-w-wait. [writes] I...need...you...to...find...

Harry, forget writing it down. Just memorize it. I need you to find---

Harry

W-w-wait. [puts finger to forehead] I...need...you...to...find...

Harry, forget memorizing it. Just listen to me. I need you to find a place for Mary to sing. Harry?

Harry

Oh, sorry, I was thinking about cake.

S3 Portrait of Tommy as an Old Man

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Harry

[to Nina] Don't worry, Nina. I won't let anyone else hurt you.

DDentist

Don't forget about your appointment on Friday, Nina.

Harry

Until Friday.

S3 The Tooth Harry

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[Harry left twenty dollars under Nina's pillow as payment from the Tooth Fairy for the four wisdom teeth she lost. Just as they're about to have sex, Nina finds the money.]

Nina

What's this?

Harry

Oh, you weren't supposed to find that 'till tomorrow morning.

Nina

You left me twenty bucks?

Harry

Well, yeah, that's the going rate, isn't it?

Nina

Going rate?!

Harry

Yeah, five bucks a pop; that seems pretty reasonable to me.

S3 The Tooth Harry

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[the Solomons confront Tommy about his cooking skills]

I can't believe it! You can cook!

Harry

You

No, no, I can't cook! I swear!

Well, then how do you explain this? (indicates oregano and rosemary on the table)

This, uh...is marijuana!

This whole time we've been eating her slop, and you're a damn gourmet!!

No, no, it's pot! I swear! I smoke it with my friends. I like to... toke up on the..fat daddies...uh...dude...

Ugh, I blame myself. How could I have missed all the signs? I mean, just last month I was doing laundry and I found a measuring spoon in his pants.

I was as blind as you, Sally. At the mall, he said he was going to the comic book store, but I saw him coming out of the Williams and Sonoma!

Harry

(picks up vial of white powder) Oh, Tommy! (opens, tastes what's inside) it's confectioner's sugar!

Confectioner's sugar? So you've been baking, too?! (hugs Sally) Look what your selfishness has done to Sally! Get out of my sight!

(starts to leave)

Oh, but first, make me a spinach and fennel frittata.

(nods) Yeah, me too.

S3 Eat, Drink, Dick, Mary

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RRandy

I think you're Harry.

Harry

Well, I think you're hairy!

S3 Eat, Drink, Dick, Mary

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I gotta say I feel liberated,not having to sneak around all the time,its just so nice being able to wear my apron out in the open[Audience laugh]

Harry

why breakfast was great I've never had a spinach frittttttaaaaaa.

[Harry starts shaking and puts his hands out in front of him in the kitchen in front of tommy and sally who have just came back from grocery shopping after becoming fully aware that tommy can actually cook,and cook well]

Harry

IIIIIIIncoming message from the big giant head!!

ooooooh my god Dick get in here!!

[Running through from the living room]:What is it!?

[Harry still with his hands stretched out]

Harry

Our records indicate that your status report is 22 days late,please submit your finished report to the big giant head's personal assistant,big giant jenny![audience laughs]

I hate that bitch![audience laugh again]

Harry

Tramission ending in 3..2..1[Harry sneezes]:oooh whats going on!?