Lutz quotes from 30 Rock

Liz

WHERE'S MY SANDWICH?!?!

Tracy

Lutz made us do it.

No, it was Frank.

Kenneth

THAT'S IT! This is all my fault, Miss Lemon. Because I let it happen. And the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Tracy

Please ask my permission before you quote me, Kenneth!

Liz

I don't know how, but you're gonna get me another sandwich. Or I'm gonna cut your face up so bad, you'll have a chin. YOU'LL ALL HAVE CHINS!

You know what sucked about my last lesbian orgy? Right in the middle of it one of us had to get up to go use the bathroom and then we all had to go! [laughs]

Liz

Okay there's something that everyone here needs to see. Abby, you might want to sit down for this.

Yeah, come sit on my struikgewas

Liz

A chair! Come on, Sue. Abby, this is for your own good. Open Apple. Tough love time.

[internet video on laptop] Has anyone ever actually had a good time at brunch? You know-

Pete

Is that you?

I don't know where you found that, but I am taking it DOWN. [laughs] That's what she said!

Liz

Okay, first of all Steve Carell owns "that's what she said." He owns it. And second of all, it's time to stop hiding. A young person helped me online-post this on JoanOfSnark.com. [shows Abby site with article headline "Abby Flynn Before She Was Abby Flynn" and a video of Abby Grossman]

[in real voice] You stupid meddling bitch!

Liz

Yes! There's your real voice! There's Abby Grossman! To quote Eleanor Roosevelt, [in crazy old woman voice] "We are all-"

Do you understand what you've done? You have signed my death warrant.

Liz

How's that now?

My ex-husband is going to see this, he's going to find out where I am and he's going to try to run me over with his car again! I changed my appearance to get away from him!

Liz

Oh, cuz I thought it was like... pressure from society.

You're right Liz, I was hiding: From a man who went insane after being electrocuted while watching Sleeping With the Enemy.

Jenna

I was cut out of that.

Yeah, I was desperate for male attention because I feel safer having men around in case Troy comes back. That is why I slept with Lutz.

And I shall protect her.

Is there an Abby Flynn here?

That her, Troy! I'm on your side! Get her!

Pete

Jeez, Lutz, it's the UPS guy. [Lutz pees himself]

Liz

Okay I think we all owe Abby an apology.

Oh my God. It's from him. "I thought this box would be the perfect size for your head. P.S. I was electrocuted again while watching Seven". Great, I have six hours to start a new life. I'll have to be a redhead this time.

Liz

I don't know... your coloring. You know what, don't listen to me.

You must really hate women, Liz. Liz Lemon is a Judas to all women-kind! [Jenna gives Liz double thumbs up]

Liz

Okay. We were on page six, where Wonder Woman gets her period.

Poke your eye, pull your hair, you forgot what clothes to wear!

Liz

The hell?!

You're not wearing yellow and blue on Leap Day.

Liz

So what? Leap Day is not a thing.

Kenneth

[singing] Leap Day William, Leap Day William, bursting from the sea; will he bring his bucket of sweets for mom and pop and me?

Liz

What the crap is going on in here?

Kenneth

Why, Leap Day William is visiting!

Liz

Leap Day William?

Kenneth

Miss Lemon, did you not grow up with Leap Day William? He lives in the Mariana Trench, he emerges every four years to trade children's tears for candy.

Liz

What? No. But White Haven was founded by the Amish, and we really only celebrated their holidays.