You know what sucked about my last lesbian orgy? Right in the middle of it one of us had to get up to go use the bathroom and then we all had to go! [laughs]
Okay there's something that everyone here needs to see. Abby, you might want to sit down for this.
Yeah, come sit on my struikgewas
A chair! Come on, Sue. Abby, this is for your own good. Open Apple. Tough love time.
[internet video on laptop] Has anyone ever actually had a good time at brunch? You know-
Is that you?
I don't know where you found that, but I am taking it DOWN. [laughs] That's what she said!
Okay, first of all Steve Carell owns "that's what she said." He owns it. And second of all, it's time to stop hiding. A young person helped me online-post this on JoanOfSnark.com. [shows Abby site with article headline "Abby Flynn Before She Was Abby Flynn" and a video of Abby Grossman]
[in real voice] You stupid meddling bitch!
Yes! There's your real voice! There's Abby Grossman! To quote Eleanor Roosevelt, [in crazy old woman voice] "We are all-"
Do you understand what you've done? You have signed my death warrant.
How's that now?
My ex-husband is going to see this, he's going to find out where I am and he's going to try to run me over with his car again! I changed my appearance to get away from him!
Oh, cuz I thought it was like... pressure from society.
You're right Liz, I was hiding: From a man who went insane after being electrocuted while watching Sleeping With the Enemy.
I was cut out of that.
Yeah, I was desperate for male attention because I feel safer having men around in case Troy comes back. That is why I slept with Lutz.
And I shall protect her.
Is there an Abby Flynn here?
That her, Troy! I'm on your side! Get her!
Jeez, Lutz, it's the UPS guy. [Lutz pees himself]
Okay I think we all owe Abby an apology.
Oh my God. It's from him. "I thought this box would be the perfect size for your head. P.S. I was electrocuted again while watching Seven". Great, I have six hours to start a new life. I'll have to be a redhead this time.
I don't know... your coloring. You know what, don't listen to me.
You must really hate women, Liz. Liz Lemon is a Judas to all women-kind! [Jenna gives Liz double thumbs up]
Okay. We were on page six, where Wonder Woman gets her period.
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