Are you trying to scare them to death?
Yeah, pretty much.
S2Haunted House
(trying to scare Zoey and Nicole) Blah!
Oh, hi, Chase!
Hi, Chase!
What, you weren't scared?
Why would we be scared of a magician?
A magician? No, no. I'm a vampire!
(Logan comes)
Hey, Mr. Magic!
I am a vampire! You guys wanna see my receipt for the costume?
(pulling the door) It's locked!
What d'ya mean it's locked?
What d'ya mean what do I mean? When I say it's locked, it's locked. How many definitions of locked are there?
S2Broadcast Views
(on television) Hello, my name is Logan Reese.
I'm Zoey Brooks.
Today we're gonna talk about some interesting topics. First: Girls in sports. Now, I think it's fine if girls wanna have their own little sports teams, but they should not be allowed to play on the guys teams! Zoey?
Yeah, you're right...
Huh?
I said, "You're right"!
Okay... Let's move on to our next topic then... Oh, yeah. Ordering at restaurants. I say girls take way too much time to order food. (with a girly voice) "Uh, I'm a girl. I'll have a chopped salad, but I want the lettuce on the side!" Guys are just like "Give me a cheeseburger!" End of story! Zoey?
I agree...
Okay... For our next topic, let's talk about... Eating kittens! I feel people should eat more kittens! Eating little kitty cats for breakfast! Do you agree with that Zoey, hmm?
(on the Chase and Michael show) Would a woman make a better President of the United States than a man?
Absolutely not!
You're an idiot!
A woman can not be President of the United States!
Name one reason!
Because girls are too emotional! Everytime she gets a pimple, she'll cry and start a war with Switzerland!
S2Girls Will Be Boys
Maybe we should to prove to Chase and Logan that guys can be just guys even when girls are around.
How are we gonna do that?
By being around them when they don't know we're around them?
But if we are around them trying to prove it, we'll be around them, and we're girls, so they'll be around girls when we're trying to-
Maybe you should let Zoey talk.
I'm saying what if one of us pretends to be a guy?
Ok, 4 problems with that: hair, face, boobs.
That's 3 problems.
2 boobs.
We can get around those problems.
It would be the ultimate acting challenge.
Hey, can you turn up the music?
Yeah, sure... Hey, cool boombox!
Thanks, I just got it.
(after that, he accidentally pushs the boombox from the roof onto the ground) Was it expensive?
OK. Make me a dude.
You really think you can convince Chase and Logan that you’re a guy?
Easy. Chase is gullible, and Logan’s a moron.
S2Robot Wars
All right! Let's go kick some bot!
(in a computerized voice) I am Quinn from Dorkon. I must go get a sprocket from my home planet, Dorkon! I am Quinn from Dorkon!
I really would like to help, but I just don't believe in using my gift of science for violence.
S2Lola Likes Chase
When I'm acting, I'm playing a role.
So, just treat biology like an acting role! You know, play the part of a girl who's really good at biology!
That's pretty smart.
Well, I'm your tutor. I'm not supposed to say stupid stuff! [Lola laughs]
See, I told you you could do it. [Lola smiles, and laughs. He picks up a flower and gives it to her] For you.
Why are you giving me a flower?
So you can take it back to your dorm and study it.
[gives it back to him] Yeah, I don't think I want to.
Why not?
There's a spider on it.
Eah! [he drops it, and starts beating it with his tennis racket. Lola laughs, then he kicks it and she laughs some more]
Okay. Photosynthesis is the process by which plants use energy from sunlight to produce sugar. Which converts into-
You wanna go out with me?
Huh. Wow, that question had almost nothing to do with photosynthesis.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Zoey 101 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.