Zoey 101 quotes

Lola

I don't wanna play volleyball with Gretchen.

Quinn

How icky is she?

Lola

Well, what is Chase thinking? Why would you wanna hang out with a girl like that?

Quinn

Uh, it's pretty obvious.

Lola

What?

Quinn

She's blonde, insanely pretty, she looks like Zoey.

Lola

Well, yeah, but... Oh my god, you think that's why he wants to be friends with her?

Quinn

Totally. I mean, come on, there's nothing appealing about her personality. This is like Psychology 101. He misses Zoey, so he's trying to fill that void with a substitute.

Lola

That's so stupid. No one can replace Zoey.

Logan

There he is. What are you doing?

Michael

You were supposed to meet us at Sushi Rox.

Chase

I am, but I invited Gretchen, and she's a little late.

Logan

Oh, why'd you invite Gretchen?

Chase

'Cause she's my bud. I'll go see if I can find her in the hall.

Logan

What's wrong with him? Why can't he see that Gretchen's disgusting?

Michael

Tsk. Because she looks like Zoey.

Logan

Then Chase needs a psychiatrist.

Michael

Ah, give the boy a break.

Logan

Dude. Trying to replace a girl with another girl just 'cause they look alike, that's a little sick.

Michael

So? You're sick too.

Logan

I'm not sick!

Michael

Then why do you take at least a hundred digital pictures of yourself every week?

Logan

'Cause I have movie star good looks.

Michael

See that? You're sicker than I thought.

Lola

How can a girl that looks that much like Zoey be so--?

Quinn

(finishes) Nauseating?!

Lola

Yeah.

Michael

(sighs) I think it's time.

Lola

For what?

Michael

An intervention. We gotta talk to Chase about Gretchen.

Quinn

All of us together?

Michael

Naw. (points to Logan with his thumb) I think me and Logan should do it alone. Could get ugly.

Michael

How's it coming?

Logan

I'm getting it. Why don't you come help me?

Michael

Because if I don't send this report in to Mr. Bender, I'm gonna get a 0. (tries to x-out) How do you close this webcam software?

Logan

Just click on the little box in the corner.

Michael

I see no little box!

Logan

Well, just click somewhere!

Michael

Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

Chase

I saw this in a prison movie.

Logan

We need to talk.

Michael

We do.

Chase

Okay, is, uh... (takes his backpack off and puts it down) everything all right?

Michael

Nope.

Logan

You gotta quit hanging around with Gretchen.

Chase

Oh, really?

Michael

Really.

Chase

Why?

Logan

She's disgusting!

Chase

Hey, well, don't hold back.

Michael

Come on, you know you wouldn't hang out with that girl in a million years if she didn't... (sighs)

Chase

If she didn't what? (Logan and Michael don't answer) If she didn't what? Just say it.

Logan

If she didn't look like Zoey.

Chase

(snorts twice) You guys are ridiculous.

Michael

I don't think we're ridiculous.

Chase

Unlock the door.

Michael

It's okay that you miss Zoey.

Chase

I don't miss Zoey. Okay, I haven't even thought about her since she left.

Logan

You're saying it's just a coincidence that Gretchen looks exactly like Zoey?

Chase

I don't even see a resemblance.

Michael

(scoffs) Everybody thinks they look alike!

Logan

And that's why you're hanging out with her! She's your little "Zoey replacement," and that's a little bit sick.

Michael

(to Logan) Uh, subtle.

Logan

He needs to hear this.

Chase

I don't need to hear anything from you guys right now. (as Zoey reads a magazine, a small beep from her computer alerts her that she has a webcam connection, and she begins to watch the conversation) If you cared about me, you wouldn't judge my friends!

Michael

So you don't think it's weird that right after she leaves PCA, you make friends with some bizarr-o girl that just happens to look exactly like Zoey?

Chase

Gretchen is a lot of fun.

Logan

Ha! Yeah, like the way she spits and picks her nose?

Michael

Oh, yeah. Don't forget the fun way she pops her pimples at lunch!

Chase

Unlock the door.

Logan

We'll unlock the door when you admit that you miss Zoey.

Chase

Well, then we better order some pizzas and a toilet, 'cause we're gonna be in here for a while.

Logan

Why is it so hard for you to just admit it's killing you that Zoey's gone?

Chase

It's hard to admit something that's not true! (Zoey looks upset)

Michael

Chase...

Chase

Enough! Alright?

Logan

Ooh! Looky here.

Chase

Put that down.

Logan

Zoey gave you this, right?

Chase

Maybe, just put it down.

Logan

Why? If you don't care about Zoey, then why would you care about a stupid little stuffed animal she gave you?

Michael

Logan...

Logan

It's cool. Chase doesn't care about it.

Chase

That's right, I don't.

Logan

Good.

Chase

Good.

Logan

Well then I guess it wouldn't bug you if I do this! (rips the head off the giraffe)

Chase

(calms down) I'm sorry!

Logan

It's cool.

Chase

I'm sorry!

Michael

It's okay.

Chase

You're right... Everything you guys said is true.

Michael

We know you miss Zoey, man.

Chase

I don't just miss her... I'm in love with her. I've been in love with Zoey ever since I met her. When she got out of her dad's car, and I saw her standing there, and I rode my bike into that stupid flagpole, (Zoey softly smiles) I was in love with Zoey before I hit the ground, and I don't think that feeling's ever gonna go away. (Zoey looks surprised)

Chase

Colin, don't call me a nit!

Zoey

OH MY GOD! He went to England!

Lola

This is so tragic!

Quinn

It's kind of sweet.

Zoey

TRAGIC!

Quinn

OKAY! Tragic!

Chase

Zoey transferred back to PCA?!

Zoey

: Chase moved to England?!

Chase

Michael! Zoey left England. She went back to --

Zoey

Hey.

Chase

Zoey. (smiles) So...you're back at PCA.

Zoey

Yeah. And you're in England...at Covington?

Chase

Uh...yep.

Zoey

Why'd you go there?

Chase

'Cause you wouldn't go there! To PCA! Or...I thought you wouldn't...which clearly you did. (pauses) Why...did you?

Zoey

I missed you.

Chase

I missed you too.

Zoey

And...I, uh...kind of heard something.

Chase

What do you mean?

Zoey

Well...a few weeks ago, when I was there, and you were here...

Chase

Yeah?

Zoey

I guess you, or Michael or Logan, left your video chat on...

Chase

Okay...

Zoey

And I heard you say something.

Chase

Uh...could you be more specific?

Zoey

(sighs) I heard you say you're in love with me.

Chase

Oh. That's uh...pretty specific. Could you hold on a sec?

Zoey

Sure.

Chase

(turns off computer) OH MY GOD!!!! (turns computer back on)

Chase

I love you, Zoey.

Zoey

Now, was that so hard to say to my face?

Chase

It was easy.

Zoey

Good. I love you too.

Michael

What is wrong with you people?!

Lola

You said we should try!

Michael

Not to kill me!

Lola

You're supposed to be stalling Zoey!

Mark

I did as long as I could, but I ran out of stuff to say.

Quinn

So what happened?!

Mark

.... I pushed her .... into a bush.

Michael

I don't wanna live with "Mooshna."

Logan

Dietrich.

Michael

I don't want any new roommate!

Logan

Then we gotta figure out a way to make her think Chase still lives here.

Mark

(over walkie-talkie) Can I stop doing this?

Michael

(into walkie-talkie; yelling) NO!

Logan

Hey, Michael.

Michael

What?

Logan

Our problems are over!

Michael

You got us that special shampoo?

Logan

No. I found a way to convince that housing lady that Chase is still our roommate.

Michael

How are we gonna do that?

Logan

(impersonates Chase) I'm back.