Crump quotes from Yu-Gi-Oh!

Sudden'y, I'm in the mood for a cold ice glass tea!

Pegasus

Now, gentlemen, Let's see if I understand your proposition. Seto kaiba has abandoned his corporate station, And now you five wish to seize control of kaibacorp. You then want to merge with my company, And you'd like me to handle any messy details, yes?

Precisely, mr. Pegasus. With our money and your leadership, We will easily take control of kaibacorp.

Pegasus

Do tell.

For our plan to succeed, Kaiba must be taken out of the picture... Permanently.

However, there is one catch. As per the corporate by laws, Only a kaiba family member can legally control kaibacorp.

Pegasus

Hmm.

To that end, pegasus, We recommend kidnapping kaiba's brother mokuba. In name, he will control kaibacorp, But we will control him.

Do these things for us And we will lay all of kaibacorp's technology at your feet.

Pegasus

Agreed. The elder kaiba shall meet with an accident, And the younger kaiba will be captured.

Excellent. But we have one final condition.

The brat who beat kaiba Has tarnished kaibacorp's good name, And we must insist that you restore it.

Pegasus

Well, how fortuitous. Plans for me to duel Yugi are already under way. Now, to show that I truly am the man for this job-- Kemo, bring me young Kaiba, would you?

Mokuba

Noooo! Aah! Unh! Let me go, you creeps. I heard everything, and when I tell my big brother, you're gonna--

Pegasus

You see, gentlemen? This is how efficiently You can expect me to handle our business. Young Kaiba is captured, Yugi will be defeated, And Seto Kaiba will bother us no more. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Mr. Kaiba. Uh Welcome back, sir.

What an unexpected surprise!

Seto Kaiba

Yes I’m sure it is, you traitorous snakes! You see I know you all about your partnership with Pegasus.

Ta-ta, Virtual Kaiba. Soon that will happen to the real McCoy! You see, if your deck master is destroyed, you automatically lose the duel, regardless of life points. And when each of you loses a duel, one of us will take over your body!

Seto Kaiba

I've heard enough! I've defeated you five white-collar has-beens once before and I can easily do it again! No matter what the rules are, I'll still take you down!

Joey

Let us out of here, you crotchety old cranks!

We've never even left this room, you fools!

But make no mistake, you kids aren't going anywhere for a long while.

Huh?

You're trapped and your only chance of escape is to defeat each of us in a virtual duel.

Mokuba

There's no way you're gonna get away with this, you stuffed shirts!

Joey

Yeah! We'll kick your big-business butts!

Joey, wait!

Joey

Don't worry, Serenity. We can whip these five geezers one, two, tree. I promise we'll win. And I've never broken a promise to you.

Then promise you'll be careful, Okay.

Joey

Deal.

If we stick together, they won't stand a chance!

Duke

Don't worry, I got your back, man.

Tristan

Me too!

Joey

Pass the jam, 'cause these guys are toast !

Hold on, guys. They never said which of us will actually have to duel.

[chucking] Good question, kid. Just to make sure that you all suffer equally, we'll be dueling against every one of you brats!

Remember, we need to take over five bodies. So the first five of you to lose will have the honor of gaining our minds while yours stay trapped here!

In your dreams!

Ever since you destroyed our bodies, all we've had are our dreams, Mr. Kaiba! Until now! The time has come to make our dreams a reality, by escaping from this virtual abyss and leaving you here in our place for all eternity! [The Big Five evil laughing]

Hello?! Is anyone in there?

Of course. Open your eyes and look around, will ya? You're surrounded by my penguin army.

I know! I meant is there anyone in without feathers and a beak?

There's no one here but us penguins, Téa!

You know my name?

I know more than that, Téa Gardner… five-foot five, size six sneaker… I've got all the numbers in my report. And I'd say your number is up! Because I'm about to put the freeze on you!

Who are you? And what do you want from me, anyway?!

Don't tell me you forgot our last meeting. [reveals himself in the form of Nightmare Penguin]

I think I'd remember you.

Look, things are never what they appear to be here, so when we met earlier, I looked a bit different. Give up? I'm one of the Big Five! The name's Crump, former accountant of Kaiba Corp.

Disguised as a penguin?

Yes, and I'll explain all that soon. But for starters, let's do a quick run through your numbers.

This can't be good!

Nice try! Looks like my iceberg dueling field is about to leak you cold! Before we start, we'll have to choose our virtual decks from this card database. Not that it really matters what cards you decide to pick. The probability that you'll be victorious is slim to none!

How am I supposed to choose when I've never even seen most of these cards before? [realizes; thinking] Wait! That one actually looks sort of familiar! [starts selecting some cards] Good thing I've spent so many hours watching Yugi and Joey duel.

Okay. As per the rules, it's time to choose your Deck Master. It can be any monster in your deck.

I know exactly who I want to choose… So check it out! [chooses Dark Magician Girl] Dark Magician Girl's my Deck Master, who's yours?

I've already taken the form of a monster known as Nightmare Penguin, you fool! So I'm both the duelist and the Deck Master. Two threats in one! And once you're on ice, I'll be free to waddle my way to the real world!

Guess again, Crump! It's time to duel, shorty!

To begin, I'll place one card facedown…and then I'll summon Ancient Elf to the field! And that's all for now, Crump.

Now, the fun begins. Watch this. I'll start off by summoning my Giant Red Seasnake! And he gets a little power boost!

How did your snake get more attack points already?!

Well, my Deck Master's special ability increases the attack power of every water monster on my side of the dueling field. So now, my snake has 2,000 attack points and as a number you can't argue with!

That's what you think! So, are going to attack me or what?!

Now I activate this card, Offerings to the Doomed! Looks like I've got this duel all wrapped up, 'cause my magic card destroys one of your monsters! See ya, Snakey! Now for my facedown monster. I'll switch it from defense to attack mode! Reveal Fire Sorcerer! Pretty cool, right? And now, it's time to warm things up a bit. Much better. Next I'll activate Fire Sorcerer's special ability. By discarding two of my cards, I'm able to burn through 800 of your Life Points!

Ouch! Hot, hot, hot!

And don't think I'm finished with you yet, Crump! Fire Sorcerer, put that bird on the hot seat! And since you lost Life Points, your own rule gets turned against you! How do you like being frozen?

I absolutely love it. If you hadn't noticed, I'm a penguin and we like things on the cool side. Or do you need a lesson on Antarctic birds?

You are weird little bird, Crump. [thinking] And I'm in the mood for a barbecue. [draws] What's this? Maha Vailo? No, he's not powerful enough! There's no way he'll beat Flying Penguin!

Téa, don't give up so fast. He has a secret skill that can help you.

Huh? What kind of a skill? Hold on, I remember this! Yugi once told me about this card.

You wanna know which card is most like me?

Wait, I know. Well, I think I know. It's that purple guy with the big hat, right?

Uh, big hat? Oh, you mean my Dark Magician card. Well, even though it's pretty great, I don't think it's the card that's most like me. Okay. Ah. This is the one! Pretty cool, right?

Maha Vailo?

He may not be as strong as the Dark Magician, well. not when you first look at him anyway. But if you look closer, you'll see a hidden power deep inside.

[thinking] Of course! It's hidden strength! [speaking] I'm not done yet! Now, I summon Maha Vailo in attack mode!

That's weak!

Wait, I'm not done! Check this out! I activate Magic Formula, raising my monster's attack points by 500!

You must've failed all of your math forces, kid, because it's still too short on attack points to defeat my Flying Penguin!

I guess you don't know about Maha Vailo's hidden power. He gets 500 extra attack points for each one of my magic cards!

No fair!

Oh, it's fair! Go, Maha Vailo! Attack his Flying Penguin with Sacred Lightning! Add this up, Crump! Extra crispy fried penguin, anyone?

Joey

[climbs out of the truck] Are you still in one piece, Duke?

Duke

[on the ground] I think so.

Joey

Serenity! [pulls his sister out of the truck]

I'm okay.

For now, maybe. But soon, all of your bodies will belong to us! Now, which one of you two should I choose to take control of?

Hold on! I want to have first choice, Leichter!

We're going in size order, Crump, so you choose last.

That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard! I'm choosing now!

[hovers down and grabs Crump by the coat] Keep your wings to yourself until I say so!

[arrives with Johnson, who tosses Duke to the ground] Stop it, fools! We don't have time for all this bickering! Choose a body and stick with it!

Then let me go first!

Enough! Calm yourself! We have to act quickly if we want to escape to the real world!

[looks up at Noah by light] What’s that!

[looks up at Noah] Huh?

[looks up at Noah] Huh?

Attention fools! This game is over!

Master Noah! Is not what it looks like!

Really? So you’re not breaking my rules? What kind of fool do you take me for!?

Please! I can explain, Noah!

I gave you all the chance to win your freedom and you’re all failed! Now you’ll pay the price!

You four are absolutely pathetic! You lost your duels, So you decided to just take what you wanted by force. Which is something I won't tolerate! Is that clear!? I hired you fools to duel for me. So by losing and then cheating you make me look weak!

Let us explain, Please...sir!

We understand that you have laws But we must escape from this place!

And to do that we need bodies!

You already have one. That Tristan kid!

One won't do! Sir...we need five bodies so we can all escape!

Greetings. I just came to say farewell before I go. Now that I have a body of my own I'm ready to escape to the real world!

Nezbitt!

Technically, my robots and I are the only ones that won a duel. So Tristan's body belongs to me now. A deal's a deal, right gentlemen!?

You lost that duel!

Crump is right, those kids defeated you Nezbitt!

Therefore that body isn't your property! You're guilty of seizing control of somebody else's personal possession!

Not quite.

I'm the one calling all the shots here So I'll decide what's wrong and right.

So can I go?

Not yet, I have a much better idea, So listen up.

Huh?

All five of you will share Tristan's body in a duel against Seto's strongest rival, Yugi Muto. Defeat him and I'll prove once and for all That I deserve control of Seto's empire! And you'll get five bodies.

We won't fail you... Master.

We can't. The odds of us disappointing you are zero percent.

Thank you sir. Good day.

[Thinking] It better be!

Seto Kaiba

[looks back up] Why don't you worried about him instead.

Look guys, up there!

Tristan!

Joey

That's not Tristan, remember? [as Seto Kaiba leaves off alone to find Mokuba himself]

Duke

It's the techno geek of the Big Five, Nezbitt, even though he kicked his nerdy butt in that duel, he still took Tristan's body!

I'm not alone in here!

Today's special is-- five for one!

And the verdict is in.

Our combined force will destroy you!

They're all using Tristan's body!

Give him back!

Listen, Yugi! There's only one way we'll return your friend.

[laughs] But believe me, Junior, the odds are in our favor!

Hey, that's Crump! Sicko!

All right! Tell us what we have to do to get Tristan back from your control!

Why duel us! Win, and he's yours!

Hold on! What's this about returning the body? We never discussed that! I'm the one who won this body and I won't give it up!

Nezbitt, it belongs to all of us now, and this was a group decision!

[chuckles] I can't believe you two are actually arguing as if we're going to keep our word.

Now, let's duel, Yugi!

You five are on!

Let's do this… for Tristan!

Joey

Hold it right there! Your man's a little off if you get in my drift. Five on one's are even, so count me in!

Are you sure?

Joey

Yeah. No question. The two of us are a team, Yugi. Now, let's waste these five suits!

Yes, and together, we'll save Tristan.

Fine, Yugi. Five on two.

All right, Gansley, It's my move now!! And I summon Gazelle the King of Mythical Beasts... in defense mode!

Hold on! [Chuckling] Let me try, Gansley! Because all the numbers seem to point in my favor right now!

Crump, can't you see that I'm busy crushing the competition?!?

You be a fool not to let me take charge of this duel now! Did you forget the special ability of my Nightmare Penguin!? Now get out of my way! Ready!?

Joey

His voice changed!

Yes, they've switched control!

Correct! I'm Crump, the big five's accountant... And I'm an expert in crunching numbers and crushing my rivals! [Chuckles] Now meet my good friend Nightmare Penguin, The last deck master you two will ever see!

Come on guys! Crush this bird brain! I already beat this flipper-footed freak and so can you!

[thinking] These kids don't realize that the countdown To their destruction has begun! And with me doing the counting, They'll be out of life points Before they can say "Antarctic annihilation!" [speaking] For my deck master's special ability Raises the attack points of all underwater monsters! Here goes! Legendary fisherman, attack Yugi's mythical beast now! Thanks to the special ability of my Nightmare Penguin, My fisherman gets a -attack-point bonus! It's all about the numbers boys! And your number's up! And next, I summon catapult turtle! In defense mode!

Joey

He played another five-star monster! And danks ta that magic card of his He didn't hafta make a sacrifice!! Not good! We gotta get rid 'a his legendary ocean card Or we can say good bye to our bodies forever Yug!

My five Deck Masters, come forth! I call you all to the field! First, the unstoppable Jinzo!

Then, I summon the almighty Deepsea Warrior!

Followed by the cunning Nightmare Penguin!

Next, I'll call Judge Man to the stand.

And finally, I'll summon the superior Robotic Knight.

Now listen to me, my five Deck Masters. I command all of you to join together to form a creature of unparalleled strength and supreme power! Behold, the ultimate monster, my Five-Headed Dragon!

We've faced this beast, before!

Joey

I know! How could I forget?! It was the last time we fought the Cyber Creeps! That super dragon took out my monster, and me with it! Let's just hope my luck is better than it was last time.

Well, the good news it, Leichter's dragon can't attack until his next turn.

Joey

That's a relief. We have one turn to stop it.

Hold on, I forgot to mention... my dragon destroys every one of your magic, trap and monster cards as soon as it's summoned!

I demand an explanation, Johnson.

You said Wheeler would hold Yugi back!

Instead, he's the reason why they're ahead of us!

[last words] Well... d... don't look at me!