Joey Wheeler quotes from Yu-Gi-Oh!

Seto Kaiba

[looks back up] Why don't you worried about him instead.

Look guys, up there!

Tristan!

Joey

That's not Tristan, remember? [as Seto Kaiba leaves off alone to find Mokuba himself]

Duke

It's the techno geek of the Big Five, Nezbitt, even though he kicked his nerdy butt in that duel, he still took Tristan's body!

I'm not alone in here!

Today's special is-- five for one!

And the verdict is in.

Our combined force will destroy you!

They're all using Tristan's body!

Give him back!

Listen, Yugi! There's only one way we'll return your friend.

[laughs] But believe me, Junior, the odds are in our favor!

Hey, that's Crump! Sicko!

All right! Tell us what we have to do to get Tristan back from your control!

Why duel us! Win, and he's yours!

Hold on! What's this about returning the body? We never discussed that! I'm the one who won this body and I won't give it up!

Nezbitt, it belongs to all of us now, and this was a group decision!

[chuckles] I can't believe you two are actually arguing as if we're going to keep our word.

Now, let's duel, Yugi!

You five are on!

Let's do this… for Tristan!

Joey

Hold it right there! Your man's a little off if you get in my drift. Five on one's are even, so count me in!

Are you sure?

Joey

Yeah. No question. The two of us are a team, Yugi. Now, let's waste these five suits!

Yes, and together, we'll save Tristan.

Fine, Yugi. Five on two.

Since there's five of us, we're going to rotate our deck master monster! So we'll start with this... You two remember me the name's Gansley. My Deepsea Warrior A strong investment! Now stand back! I'll begin! Ha! Hmm, First things first. I'll plaaaaaaaay this magic card! "A Legendary Ocean!"

Oh no!

Time to flood the market!

Duke

Run guys!

And now, I'll summon this monster... The Legendary Fisherman!

Joey

That's the card Mako Tsunami almost beat me with! Hey! Hold on, Gansley! You have to sacrifice Somethin' first to play that card! It's too powerful to summon to the field In your first move!

With his magic card he can!

Right. It's all true. A legendary ocean changes my five-star monsters to four! I'm afraid this simple fact allows me to summon them Directly to the field without sacrificing another monster!

Be careful Joey! As long as that card's in play He's at a dangerous advantage!

Joey

Don't worry Yugi. We'll dry up his ocean in no time!

You'll sink long before that!

You take the next move Joey. And remember these corporate tycoons can't be trusted!

Joey

Forget about it! You and I are gonna put these guys out of business Yugi! And it's all gonna start right now! Watch this... I summon Alligator's Sword! In defense mode! That's all for now you old geezer! But this is just the beginning! So don't get used to that body!

Tristan

I know you can do this, guys.

Joey

[thinking] I don't know if that metal chimp's Tristan or not, But we're gonna reunite him with his body no matter what.

All right, Gansley, It's my move now!! And I summon Gazelle the King of Mythical Beasts... in defense mode!

Hold on! [Chuckling] Let me try, Gansley! Because all the numbers seem to point in my favor right now!

Crump, can't you see that I'm busy crushing the competition?!?

You be a fool not to let me take charge of this duel now! Did you forget the special ability of my Nightmare Penguin!? Now get out of my way! Ready!?

Joey

His voice changed!

Yes, they've switched control!

Correct! I'm Crump, the big five's accountant... And I'm an expert in crunching numbers and crushing my rivals! [Chuckles] Now meet my good friend Nightmare Penguin, The last deck master you two will ever see!

Come on guys! Crush this bird brain! I already beat this flipper-footed freak and so can you!

[thinking] These kids don't realize that the countdown To their destruction has begun! And with me doing the counting, They'll be out of life points Before they can say "Antarctic annihilation!" [speaking] For my deck master's special ability Raises the attack points of all underwater monsters! Here goes! Legendary fisherman, attack Yugi's mythical beast now! Thanks to the special ability of my Nightmare Penguin, My fisherman gets a -attack-point bonus! It's all about the numbers boys! And your number's up! And next, I summon catapult turtle! In defense mode!

Joey

He played another five-star monster! And danks ta that magic card of his He didn't hafta make a sacrifice!! Not good! We gotta get rid 'a his legendary ocean card Or we can say good bye to our bodies forever Yug!

When you two lose this duel, you and your friends will be sentenced to an eternity in this digital dungeon!

Joey

You're the one who's going down, Johnson! I beat you once and I'll beat you again!

Yes, but now we're up against all five of them!

That's right, I'm not alone in here. Now then…

I can't believe the Big Five are all in Tristan's body!

Tristan

Those business geeks are sharing me like I'm a corporate condo!

My first maneuver should seem familiar to you, Joseph. The move's called, Clear the Courtroom! It's Judge Man's Deck Master ability!

Joey

Oh, no! Not this move!

Oh, yes! First, I'll give 1,000 my Life Points. Proceed, Your Honor. Prosecute all of their monsters to the full extent of the law!

All four of our monsters are gone now.

But that's not all I've done.

Joey

What?!

Have you forgotten already, Joseph? Next, you'll both lose 500 Life Points for each monster that I've crushed.

Tristan

If they keep this up, I'll never get my body back!

Don't worry, Tristan. Yugi and my brother are gonna win this!

Now that I've cleared the field of all of your monsters, it's time to work on your Life Points! I call Hysteric Angel to the stand! And now, I think our spectators are really going to enjoy this next move. Especially that little monkey-boy up there. [Tristan shrieks angrily] Time to put this body to good use! Now, Hysteric Angel, attack Joseph's Life Points directly!

Joey

Well, now I remember why I love your lawyers so much.

If you loved that one, just wait 'til my next move! Angel, use my Catapult Turtle's special ability to launch yourself at the defendant, Mr. Joseph Wheeler!

I activate Revenge Sacrifice!

Joey

No!

This card allows me to sacrifice the monster you just attacked me with! So consider your Rocket Warrior dismissed! And I'll use it to summon a new monster. [laughs] So please welcome to the stand, Machine King! This mechanical menace gains an additional 100 attack points for every machine monster in play, including itself! The decision is unanimous! You two don't stand a chance!

Joey

All right, Yuge! Finish this guy!

I'll try. [thinking] All right, I need to play Des Volstgalph, but, in order to summon it the field, I need to sacrifice another monster first. And I have no other monsters! Not yet, anyway! [speaking] It's my move, so here goes! [draws; thinking] This is just what I needed! It's The Rock Spirit monster card! But, in order to use it, I first have to take a monster out of my graveyard and remove it from the game. I was forced to send my Buster Blader to the graveyard before, so I guess I'll take him out of play. [speaking] First, I'll remove my Buster Blader from the game in order to summon, The Rock Spirit! But I'm afraid that's not all, Johnson! Next, I'll sacrifice my Spirit to summon this, Des Voltsgalph!

Joey

[thinking] What? Is he serious?!

And now I'll place a card facedown and end my turn.

HA! You just played a magic card which triggers my Volstgalph's special ability! So it gains 200 attack points!

Now is that so? He won't be around for much longer, anyway! For I summon my Fairy Lily!

Joey

Ha! Looks like she's only got 400 attack points, Leichter!

Looks can be deceiving, Joey.

I give up 2,000 Life Points to increase her power! Lily, destroy his Des Volstgalph!

That maneuver cost you more Life Points than it cost me.

Not exactly. 'Cause I'm about to restore mine with my Sebek's Blessing magic card!

Joey

What's the deal with that card?

It increases Leichter's Life Points by the same number of Life Points I just lost.

Exactly. And if my math is correct, that gives me 1,000 more Life Points! And finally I'll place one more card facedown. Soon, we'll claim four more of your bodies leaving your minds trapped here!

Joey

Yuge, we gotta do something and fast!

Celebrating so soon?

Joey

Yeah, why?

You may have destroyed my trap card, but my Fairy Lily is still the strongest monster on the field, Mr. Wheeler. Once I power her up again, she'll wipe out your Jinzo and your Life Points!

Joey, Leichter is right! Her special ability allows him to raise her attack points higher than any other monster on the field!

Joey

Oh, yeah.

But then again, attack points aren't everything, are they, Joey?

My five Deck Masters, come forth! I call you all to the field! First, the unstoppable Jinzo!

Then, I summon the almighty Deepsea Warrior!

Followed by the cunning Nightmare Penguin!

Next, I'll call Judge Man to the stand.

And finally, I'll summon the superior Robotic Knight.

Now listen to me, my five Deck Masters. I command all of you to join together to form a creature of unparalleled strength and supreme power! Behold, the ultimate monster, my Five-Headed Dragon!

We've faced this beast, before!

Joey

I know! How could I forget?! It was the last time we fought the Cyber Creeps! That super dragon took out my monster, and me with it! Let's just hope my luck is better than it was last time.

Well, the good news it, Leichter's dragon can't attack until his next turn.

Joey

That's a relief. We have one turn to stop it.

Hold on, I forgot to mention... my dragon destroys every one of your magic, trap and monster cards as soon as it's summoned!

Well? Now it's time for you five to give Tristan his body back.

I'm afraid you've mistaken me for someone who believes in playing fair!

Joey

[shocked] Say what?! All right, it's go time!

As you wish!

Oh no!

Now to take five more bodies!

Hey! What's going on?!

[voice-over] Breaking my rules again, are we?!

[looks up] Noah!

[voice-over] You five fools have failed me for the last time!

[shocked] What's going on?!

[shocked] What's happening?!

Joey

They disappeared!

Oh, no! They took Tristan's body away with them!

Tristan

I don't believe it! I'll be stuck in this monkey suit for the rest of my life! And I'm feeling more like a monkey and less like me every second. This stinks!

[hugs Tristan] I'm here for you, Tristan.

Tristan

On second thought, I can learn to live with this.

NO!

My job is now completed.

Kaiba! Mokuba!

What did you do to them!?

I always thought they were hardheaded. So I’ve turned them into a living sculpture. They’re so close yet they’ll never reach one another. How tragic.

Joey

[horrified] Oh man.

They're statues! It can't be!

Noah! You think this proves you're the best!? I think it shows your father that you're a coward!

What are you talking about, Yugi? I defeated Seto in this duel fair and square!

Guess again, Noah! You think kidnapping Mokuba and using him as a shield is fair?!

You think I cheated?!

I think you're guilty of the same foul play you once scolded the Big Five for! Something you said your father would never allow! Kaiba could've easily defeated you, Noah! But he chose the safety of his little brother over his victory. And that makes Kaiba a stronger person than you will ever be! All you've proven here today is that you're a weak little boy who needs to cheat to get his way. And as far as I'm concerned, you didn't win this duel! But I have a proposition for you. Kaiba has 400 Life Points left! Let me take his place, so we can finish this duel fair and square!

Joey

Huh?

That could be the most foolish thing I've ever heard!

Does that mean you accept or are you afraid I'll defeat you and prove once and for all… That you are weak!

I’d be crazy not to accept!

Joey

Yugi! Don't be a doofus! He's got seven thousand life points to your measly four hundred!

Tristan

Be careful, Joey's right for a change!

Once I defeat you, Yugi, I'll turn every one of you into stone!

Joey

Just try it!

I think we need a little privacy, don't you?

Hey, what's he doing!?

As I was saying, I'll turn all but one of you into stone! After all I need a body to escape in!

And If you lose you'll set us all free! So in the name of Seto Kaiba and Mokuba, let's duel now!

With pleasure, Yugi! And may the best duelist win!

You're on!

And when I do, you and your friends will be prisoners of my world forever!

Joey

Yugi's still gonna beat the virtual stuffing out of this kid!

You were a fool to think you could defeat me, and now you and your friends are about to pay the price! All because you're defending the honor of someone who didn't even like you, Yugi!

Kaiba and I have quite a bit in common! We're both participants in an ancient struggle that dates back 5,000 years. And Kaiba and I have something else in common-- something you'd know nothing about, Noah.

Really? And what might that be?

He duels with honor and respect!

Is that so? And you think that makes you both superior to me?

It makes us human.

Well, you won't be human for long! Once I blow away what's left of your Life Points, you'll all be motionless objects! Do you honestly believe you can win this with only 200 Life Points left?

Yes! I'll take you down somehow, Noah! You'll see! Now it's my move! I'll place this monster facedown in defense mode and then I shall end my turn, Noah!

Even your defensive monsters aren't safe! So, you set them up and I'll just keep knocking them down! My move! It's time for me to play a monster who resides in the spirit world! I summon the spirit monster known as Yata-Garasu in attack mode!

A spirit monster?!

Yes, and I'll get to that in a moment, but first, I'll destroy your facedown monster card! [uses Shinato's deck master ability to destroy Yami Yugi's facedown monster, which is then revealed to be his Obnoxious Celtic Guardian and the attack is backfired]

Wrong!

What?! But your monster's weaker!

Obnoxious Celtic Guardian's special effect protects itself from all monsters with 1,900 attack points or more. And yours has over 3,000!

Well, I can still activate the magic card known as Spring of Rebirth! This card grants me 500 Life Points whenever a monster returns to my hand.

You're nothing but a child. Six years may have passed, but I'm afraid you haven't matured at all. You're a weak boy!

I am strong!

Well, not strong enough! Just look.

Joey

Come on! You can still beat this lame-o!

That's right, so don't you even think about giving up this fight, Yugi!

This can't be! They still have faith!

Noah! You wouldn't be so surprised if you had been given the chance to experience true friendship! You're just bitter!

The only thing I need to know about friendship is how to destroy it! My move! And now, I activate my facedown trap card, Pyro Clock of Destiny!

Oh, no, my Swords of Light! They're gone, but that's too soon!

True, but my Pyro Clock of Destiny trap card causes time to move faster. So they expire one turn sooner! Now I summon the dreaded Otohime to the field in attack mode! And thanks to my new monster's special ability, I can switch any of your monsters from defense to attack mode or vice versa, Yugi! And I choose your Kuriboh!

You have nothing to defend you! So your Life Points are wide open! And it's about time I turn this duel around! So stand back, Noah! [draws; thinking] Just what I needed! [speaking] All right, prepare to release me and my friends from your twisted game, for I activate-- Dark Magic Ritual! This magic card allows me to summon a dark magical creature once I make a sacrifice! So, I'll sacrifice this card, my all-powerful Valkyrion the Magna Warrior! Valkyrion, be gone! Now I shall summon my third magician! The Magician of Black Chaos!

Oh, no!

Oh, yes! This monster completes my trio of magical beasts that will combine forces to take you down! When added together, Dark Magician, Dark Magician Girl, and Magician of Black Chaos, have over 7000 attack points, almost enough to wipe you out!

He's got three Dark Magicians?

Joey

That's right, but he never had 'em all on the field at once! This is the break Yugi needed!

Noah, this is for my friends! Combine forces my magicians, and STRIKE HIS LIFE POINTS DIRECTLY!

I'll escape even without a body! I can upload my mind to another network!

Not a chance!

You?!

I've sealed off all the exits, So there's no way you can escape. I'm afraid it's all over for you.

Mokuba

Why did Noah have to go back to that place, guys? It's not fair!

Joey

where are those guys?

We have to go before that computer blows. And time is running out.

Joey

Come on already.

I cannot be stopped! What makes you think You have the power to keep me here?! [?] Huh?

I can control this place as well.

Noah, you'd choose them over me?!

At least they believed in me. [Flashback to Mokuba flashback end] I'm sorry... But I can't let you hurt them. So, I'm keeping you trapped in here. Sound familiar?

What are you doing?! I command you to release me immediately, Noah! Aah!

[last words] I'm going to free your mind and make sure you never harm anyone again.