Ingrid quotes from Young Dracula

Count

You said you couldn't wait to have your own coffin, just like me. Come, come. (Motions for her to sit next to him.) Look, you drew your fangs bigger than mine. You always were more ambitious than Vlad.

Ingrid

I thought you only kept Vlad's drawings. You said you threw all mine away.

Count

I've never said this before... but I do love you, Ingrid.

Ingrid

(quietly) You don't mean that... it's just the poison pickling your brain.

Count

I mean it... with all my dying heart.

Count

It's alright, it's alright.

Ingrid

(tearing up) Come on, Vlad, you're the Chosen One! You can beat this! Push the poison, Vlad!

Count

Vladdy, what have you done? I promise, I will never disinherit you again! Vlad!

Vlad

Well, Erin and Malik have been spotted in Paris. Bit some tourists on the Eiffel Tower.

Renfield

Sounds painful.

Ingrid

Admit it, you miss her.

Vlad

I hope she chokes on a garlic snail.

Ingrid

By the way, how many more of your ex-girlfriends are coming to kill us?

Count

Who knows? One doesn't like to brag!

Vlad

What're you doing here? You're supposed to be at the conference all weekend.

Ingrid

I got bored.

Vlad

(smirking) They gave you loads of lame jobs to do, didn't they?

Ingrid

(glares at him) I don't want to talk about it.

Vlad

You promised you'd be normal!

Ingrid

This is normal, mongrel boy!

George

But you'll be banished too.

Ingrid

Excuse me?

George

Told you I was doing Latin at school. (Reading from a scroll) "Pacata omnia pacata patris familiae". The sins of the father are the sins of all the family.

Ingrid

Let me see that!

Count

(Laughs) The Breather child's right! Ingrid and Vlad are as tainted as myself. If she betrays us, she will be banished for eternity. Ping!

Vlad

(To Ingrid) Should've brushed up on your Latin. (Smirks) I think that's what they call "checkmate"?

Ingrid

(Seething) I hope that jelly chokes the lot of you!

Ingrid

Try it, kid, and I'll introduce you to my games room... the torture chamber.

George

I always wanted a big sister, till I met you.

Malik

I'm still a Dracula, like it or not.

NOT!

Ingrid

Eurgh! That's disgusting! Looks like your hand's about to rot off.

Malik

Not as disgusting as that growth on your face, fungus features!

Vlad

Australia?! Are you insane?

Ingrid

Either that or he's an idiot. Or both.

Vlad

You seem to know a lot about me, Mr...

Roquelaire. As VHC's security chief it's my job to know. Like I know that your sister has been listening in to our conversation for the last five minutes.

Ingrid

Not listening in actually, I... just didn't want to leave Vlad alone with a stranger.

Count

He seems... urgh... madder than I remember him.

Ingrid

Dabbling in necromancy can do that.

(Tapping his fangs) Titanium gold. Designer!

Ingrid

Vulgar and fake. They suit you perfectly.

Count

Yes.

Renfield

But I so want to be a vampire, Master. And with all this bother going on, if you were to bite me now I might be able to help, and you were gonna bite me in thirteen leap years time anyway.

Count

(Laughs) Oh, Renfield, Renfield! Is there no limit to the depths of your stupidity? A leap year is made up of four normal years. So thirteen leap years is actually forty! No... sixty! No, that's not right either.

Ingrid

Fifty-two, idiot.

Count

Fifty-two years away and by then, you'll be far too frail and dribbly to bother with.

Renfield

(Sadly) I see. Fooled again.

Count

Well, it's not really that difficult.