Ingrid quotes from Young Dracula

Malik

Wanna get some blood the old school way?

Ingrid

Breaking the cease-fire. You're more stupid than you look, which is saying some.

You look positively... malevolent.

Ingrid

You say the nicest things.

Malik

Why are you doing this?

Ingrid

Because I have to complete all my tasks to impress the High Council.

Malik

Yeah, a bunch of stuffy old men. Why do you care what they think?

Ingrid

(sarcastically) Oh, wait. I learned this one in therapy. Because, deep down, I'm just a lonely, little girl, who craves her Daddy's approval.

Malik

No, you're not. You're a ruthless psychopath, who craves fresh blood and raw power.

Ingrid

And you've been following me around all day! What does that make you?

Malik

I just don't want to see you make a fool of yourself.

Ingrid

Why do you even care?!

Malik

I just do! (pause) Care. Okay?

Ingrid

(taken aback) But I'm a power-mad psychopath.

Malik

Maybe I like power-mad psychopaths.

Ingrid

I don't need anyone.

Malik

Exactly.

Ingrid

You're plotting against Vlad, aren't you?

What makes you say that?

Ingrid

Experience.

Ingrid

But... you said you...

Malik

What?

Ingrid

Cared!

Malik

I do. Just... not like that.

Ingrid

I gave up a seat at the High Council for you!

Malik

I'm sorry! I thought we were friends.

Ingrid

We were friends! That's why you're still alive.

Ingrid

That explains why you didn't...

Malik

Fall for your charms? Otherwise...

Why doesn't Erin want to be a vampire?

Ingrid

Because when I bit her brother, he changed. He didn't care about his sappy, little sister anymore. And if Erin turns vamp, she won't love Vlad... (as though realising) in fact, she'll hate him.

So why's Vlad going to bite her?

Ingrid

Because love is stupid. And it makes people do stupid things.

Have you ever been in love?

Ingrid

Yeah.

Ingrid

Don't do it, Vlad. You're making a mistake.

Vlad

Get out!

Ingrid

Look, I don't know what's going on with you, and I don't really care. But you're not acting like the Vlad I know. Trust me, I've spent seventeen years with the little wimp.

Vlad

(deep voice) ERIN! ERIN!

Ingrid

Oh, great, he's doing the voice again.

Vlad

(Surprised) Pizza!

Count

It's what you wanted, isn't it?

Vlad

Yeah! But... you never give me what I want.

Count

Ah, all that's changed. Now you've proven yourself, what Vladdy wants, Vladdy will get.

Ingrid

Oh, please.

Ingrid

But he's only bitten one person! It's hardly carnage!

Count

That will soon follow. It's inevitable, now he's... tasted the nectar.

Vlad

I don't drink blood.

Count

Are you insane?

Count

The sun rises in the east, sets in the west, this room is south facing.

Ingrid

(Realising) Meaning...

Malik

We'll be directly under it's path at midday.

Count

We'll be barbecued to a cinder.

Ingrid

What time is it now?

Malik

(checking his watch) Eleven o'clock.

Help! Help! Renfield! HELP!

Malik

All I ever wanted was a family.

Ingrid

Join the club.

Ingrid

The writing was on the wall from the moment you brought that cuckoo into the nest.

Vlad

You think I don't know that?

Vlad

(to the Count) Since when did Ingrid ask if you were okay?

Renfield

Shapeshifter!

Ingrid

What's going on in there?

Count

Enter!

Ingrid

(comes in the room) You idiot. You should've known the real McCauley would never kiss you. You're a disgusting, pale, skinny antique.

Vlad

Yep, that's Ingrid.