Ingrid quotes from Young Dracula

Vlad

Dad, you promised to be careful. Do I need to spell it out for you? M-O-B.

Count Dracula

I am Count Dracula, not spell Dracula.

Ingrid

M-O-B spells angry peasant mob howling for your dust.

Count Dracula

I know that, but I'm bored.

Chloe

Will Mum and Dad still be after my blood?

Ingrid

Unfortunately not. They won't remember a thing. Lucky them!

Ingrid

If I can't prove I've got a boyfriend Dad's gonna send me off to Transiberia!

Chloe

[Smirking] Oh, dear! Send us a postcard when you get there!

Vlad

I can't believe Dad only came to Parents' Evening to get his revenge on Mr. Van Helsing!

Ingrid

Stop whinging! At least he didn't find out he was a slayer.

Vlad

I suppose I've just gotta accept it; our family's not normal.

Ingrid

Who'd want to be normal? I mean, look at him.

Robin

Checkmate! Who's the loser! Who's the loser! Go loser! Go loser! Go loser!

Vlad

[to Ingrid] Fair point.

[To Robin] Do you prefer French blood or Italian?

Tick, tock! Tick, tock!

Ingrid

[Raising her hand] Oh, I know! I know!

Let him answer!

Robin

Neither, they both taste of garlic.

I approve.

Vlad

I wish Dad would shut the crypt door when he's punishing Renfield. You can hear the screams all over the castle.

Vlad

You put the cockroaches in the study! You cunning, devious... I'm impressed.

Ingrid

Needs must. There was no way I was having a Breather for a stepmother.

Vlad

Bit rough on Renfield though... getting all the blame.

Ingrid

Yeah.

Count

My noble son has finally brought glory to the family name.

Ingrid

Except he didn't use deceit... or break a single rule...

Vlad

Ingrid!

Ingrid

Or cheat!

Count

[shocked] Vladimir, is this true?

Robin

What're you two doing here?

Ingrid

Having a sing along, what does it look like?!

Where's your dad?

Ingrid

He's gone to Spain to top up his tan.

Vlad

It'll be dark in a minute and Dad will fly off and kill Van Helsing.

Ingrid

And...

Vlad

We have to stop him!

Ingrid

Have you got sunstroke?! Biting slayers is one of the perks of being a vampire. That and looking great in black.

(angrily) You're saying coz you live in a castle you're better than me?

Ingrid

No. I'm better than you because I'm a vampire.

Ingrid

I told you I should drive.

Renfield

You don't know how to drive.

Ingrid

Well, that makes two of us!

Ingrid

Yeah, well you don't scare me.

No? I oughta. I can make your life a misery round here. "Oh, Uncle Count, I wait on my Daddy hand and fang. Would you like me to show Ingrid how?"

Ingrid

Stupid! I'll just tell them all what you're really like.

Go ahead, who'll believe you? You're the nasty one and I'm nice. Go get off my bed!

Ingrid

You think you can challenge the Princess of Darkness?

No, but I can whip your butt from here to Halloween.

Ingrid

You're on, maggot muncher!

Ok, whoever completes the most evil deed by tonight is the winner.

Ingrid

And the loser... has to sing and dance with Renfield wearing a frilly, pink dress.

Vlad

(to Boris) Don't you understand? If we kill our Dads we're more evil than any vampire.

Ingrid

Good point.

Count Dracula

Vlad, Boris, Olga... the other one, what's going on?

Ingrid

Hello, Daddy. And goodbye!

Vlad

No, NO!

AAARGGHH! You've turned me into a Breather!

Ingrid

And I've killed your Dad.

Yeah, whatever.

Count Dracula

Slain by my own daughter! You're so grounded!