Clay quotes from Xiaolin Showdown

Clay

[after setting Raimundo on fire] I'm sorry, Rai, I couldn't help it. I smell my favourite meal and I-

Kimiko

EVERY meal is your favourite meal, Clay!

Raimundo

I can't believe your first loyalty is to a pork chop!

Looks like if you want your rewards, you and me are gonna have a Xiaolin Showdown.

Clay

I accept. Your Silk Spitter against my Changing Chopsticks.

The game is Demolition Viper Bike Derby! First to make it out in one piece wins.

Clay

Let's just get this over with. Let's go. Xiaolin Showdown!

Jack

I ask for knife-throwing lessons, mom sends me figure-skating. "You never know when it'll come in handy!" Now I feel kinda a bad for making a robot out of her juicer.

That Spicer kid sure has nice form.

Clay

Whoo! Look there, a triple Salchow! [The others stare at him] What? Cowboys can't like figure-skating?

Raimundo

Come on, Omi. Just because you're built like a hockey puck doesn't mean you have to skate like one!

Omi

How did she know about the vault?

Clay

Um, I may have mentioned it to her, but she said she never saw one before. But wasn't a monk there guarding it?

Kimiko

She, uh, kind of got me to convince one of the boys to hand scrub all the bathrooms.

Raimundo

She had me fill the Armadillo with sea-water. I figured it was just a rebel prank.

Omi

Now it all makes sense! Dyris wanted to know what Shen Gong Wu would have the power to create giant volcanoes to melt the polar ice caps and flood the world. [Kimiko, Raimundo, Clay, Dojo, and Klowfange glares at him] I assumed it was idol chat-chit.

Hmm...you sure you lot are the good guys?

Kimiko

Omi, look! Over there. It's the Tohomiko Electronics skyscraper!

Omi

Tohomiko? That sounds most familiar to my ears.

Kimiko

Hello? That's my last name.

Omi

Oh? I never thought of you with a last name.

Kimiko

And that's my Papa's building.

Clay

[In amazement] Your daddy is Toshiro Tohomiko, the video game tycoon?!

Kimiko

Yeah, I can't wait to introduce you all to him. He's super cool!

Raimundo

And super rich! [His eyes turn into dollar symbols. To Kimiko] Did I ever tell you that you are my favorite monk?

Omi

[gigantic sad face] I thought I was your favorite...

Kimiko

It's Spicer, he took the seed!

Clay

And the hotdogs! Come back here with them doggies you no good, low down snake, you yellow bellied, dirty little side winder. I'm gonna get you!

Howdy, partner!

Clay

Well, if it ain't my little metal mini me!

Clay

How do you manage to win every game?

Omi

That is most simple: I cheat. [they all look at him] No, no, I am a betrayer when I say I cheat.

Raimundo

How do we know that you're not betraying us now, Omi?

Omi

[seriously] Because, Raimundo, you are all my friends, and I could never betray my friends. [Laughs, knocking his head at the table] Ha ha ha, I have mastered deception! Let's play again!

Boys and girls, let me tell you a story about these two dragon buddies. Always seen together, like peas and carrots.

Raimundo

Is this story gonna be long or short?

It'll take as long as it takes!

Long story.

One day, they have this spot. Angry wicked words were exchanged. Words? That could never taking back. And when it was old...these two friends...would never...speak..again. [sobs] It's funny. But I know even remember what the fight was about. [pause] Oh, wait. Now I remember. Chuck wanted to borrow my yo-yo. My favorite yo-yo. The treasure family yo-yo! I politely told Chuck know. But didn't live it that. NO! He snacked to my room and too many away! And then...he lost it. LOST IT! Well, they played dumb. Never set a word. Until one night I caught a talking asleep! The only time that scoundrel couldn't tell them truth! And he's gone. GOOD RIDDANCE TO YO-YO THIEF! [spits on Clay's dinner]

Clay

Dojo, why'd you spittin' my food?

Oh. Sorry.

Jack

What do you think the spiders want with us?

Raimundo

Dude, we're in their web. Take a guess.

Jack

[Understanding] I DON'T WANT A SPIDER TO EAT ME!

Clay

Chill, evil partner! Spiders don't eat people! They desiccate you, suck out all your fluids until nothing is left. [Clay dried up and the others staring at him] What? Can't a cowboy have a hobby?

Jack

I don't want to be...what he said!

Kimiko

I was hoping we'd all rise together.

Omi

[Looking sad] Aw, me too. [Then looking happy] That is why I will work extra hard teaching you until that day comes when you too are ready to become Wudai Warriors.

Clay

Whoa, partner, and what makes you so sure YOU'RE the chosen one?

Omi

[Laughing] Is it not obvious? Who else is it going to be? Raimundo?

Omi

I am sorry. I was not laughing at you but with you.

Raimundo

I'm not laughing.

Kimiko

Here's a wild thought. Maybe it's me.

Omi

But you are a girl. [The others gasp] AAAAH!

Raimundo

[Wincing] Nyah...

Kimiko

And your point?

Omi

Nothing, I like girls. [He passes out]

Omi

Kimiko, Raimundo, Clay, I was ready to humiliate you in battle, but I have no idea why.

Kimiko

It’s OK, Omi. It’s just good to have you back.

Jack

Omi, I missed you so.

Omi

OK, now I am most confused.

Jack brought the Reversing Mirror into the Ying Yang World. Instead of coming out whole, he must have left behind all of his evil.

Chase Young

I hate to interrupt such a nauseating moment, but we have some serious evil left on the agenda.

Clay

You have got no hold on Omi. He’s got his Chi back, and you ain’t getting your grubby hands on it.

Chase Young

Omi swore his loyalty to me.

Kimiko

He wasn’t himself back then.

Raimundo

Omi is going nowhere. Except back home with us.

I have given you the greatest gift of all.

Clay

Farm equipment?

Raimundo

Clay, you know about tractors, maybe you can fix the Silver Manta Ray.

Clay

Oh, sure Rai, yeah. Tractors and mystical flying transports are like two peas from the same pod.

Uhh... what in tarnation are you doin’?

Chase Young

I’m ending what I should have ended years ago.

Omi

Nooooooooo!

Hyah! Unh! Hyah!

Moby Morpher! [turns back into his real form again] Nice to see you again, Chase. Hey, thanks for the assistance. Maybe one day I’ll return the favor. [Continues sinister laughter]

Clay

[Muffled] I’m afraid we got big problems, pardner.

Omi

I know. You ripped the words from inside my mouth.

Chase Young

You fools! You don’t know what you’ve done. You have unleashed the greatest evil the world has ever seen.

Raimundo

Hmmph! Sounds like end of the world time...again.

Chase Young

No. it is far worse than that.