Two-Headed Dojo quotes from Xiaolin Showdown

[After Jack gets the Manchurian Musca] Yo, Omi, you must be trippin'.

Omi

I am not taking a trip!

Your hotdogging cost us a Shen Gong Wu!

Omi

Are you saying it is BECAUSE OF ME?!

I'm saying, some poser may need a refresher course on how to be a Xiaolin warrior.

Omi

A refresher course!? I should be TEACHING the refresher course!

Man, you got an ego bigger than that dome of yours.

Omi

Nothing is bigger than my dome! And I thank you to leave my dome OUT OF IT!

Can you believe this guy man?

Hey, there are three things I've learned not to talk about. Religion, politics and Omi's head.

Boys and girls, let me tell you a story about these two dragon buddies. Always seen together, like peas and carrots.

Raimundo

Is this story gonna be long or short?

It'll take as long as it takes!

Long story.

One day, they have this spot. Angry wicked words were exchanged. Words? That could never taking back. And when it was old...these two friends...would never...speak..again. [sobs] It's funny. But I know even remember what the fight was about. [pause] Oh, wait. Now I remember. Chuck wanted to borrow my yo-yo. My favorite yo-yo. The treasure family yo-yo! I politely told Chuck know. But didn't live it that. NO! He snacked to my room and too many away! And then...he lost it. LOST IT! Well, they played dumb. Never set a word. Until one night I caught a talking asleep! The only time that scoundrel couldn't tell them truth! And he's gone. GOOD RIDDANCE TO YO-YO THIEF! [spits on Clay's dinner]

Clay

Dojo, why'd you spittin' my food?

Oh. Sorry.

I tell you. You should a seen me in action. Those spiders will think twice before messing with this dragon, again! Bada bing. [chuckles] AAAAHHHHHH!

Raimundo

[Laughs] Dojo, you should a seen yourself!

Kimiko

Rai, that wasn't very nice.

Raimundo

[scoffs] How can anyone be so afraid of a spider?

What a pansy!

Omi

Tongue of Saiping! Thank you for your assistance, my small friend. [he gives a high-five on a spider]

We got a category 5 Wu alert. The Ying Yo-Yo just revealed itself.

The Ying Yo-Yo is one of the lesser-known. Shen Gong Wu. It acts as a portal to the Ying-Yang World- a parallel universe with laws of its own. One must remain cautious. Its powers are not fully understood.

Very interesting... it says here that Alexander The Great had seven toes on one foot and three on the other.

Raimundo

What about Omi?

Well, I'm pretty sure he has five on each. But I've never taken a closer look.

Omi

Kimiko, Raimundo, Clay, I was ready to humiliate you in battle, but I have no idea why.

Kimiko

It’s OK, Omi. It’s just good to have you back.

Jack

Omi, I missed you so.

Omi

OK, now I am most confused.

Jack brought the Reversing Mirror into the Ying Yang World. Instead of coming out whole, he must have left behind all of his evil.

Chase Young

I hate to interrupt such a nauseating moment, but we have some serious evil left on the agenda.

Clay

You have got no hold on Omi. He’s got his Chi back, and you ain’t getting your grubby hands on it.

Chase Young

Omi swore his loyalty to me.

Kimiko

He wasn’t himself back then.

Raimundo

Omi is going nowhere. Except back home with us.

That is correct. Only ONE would rise, but not until you worked together AS one.

I don't know about you, but I think he makes this stuff up as he goes along. [laughs to himself]

Kimiko

Wuya, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! The game is Meteor Shower. The first to reach the Moby Morpher wins!

And to make it interesting, my Ying Yo-Yo against your Yang Yo-Yo!

Chase Young

You never mention you have the Ying Yo-Yo.

Oh. Didn't I? Must've slipped my mind.

Omi

Kimiko, remember, if you enter the Ying-Yang World without both Wu, you will come out evil!

And if you enter evil, you come out good. We may need a score card for this one.

[in unison] LET'S GO! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!

Maybe I should take over. I'd like to leave the parallel universe in one piece.

Omi

Do you know how to fly the Silver Manta Ray?

Please, I was flying before I could crawl. I'm not just a mystical dragon. I'm also a certified pilot!

Raimundo

Good enough for me! She's all yours, pappy!

Now, let's see if we can pick up the pace a little!

Don't worry! I've got everything under control!

Omi

Now Dojo, you shouldn't kiss a horse on the lips before it gives you its' presents. [They all stare blankly]

Kimiko

Oh, kiss a gift horse on the mouth.

Ohhhh.

[Puzzled] I thought it was 'look a gift horse in the mouth'.

Raimundo

This is all my fault for leaving it behind.

Clay

Oh, what no good hombre could have taken it?

Hmm. I have a pretty good idea.

With the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman mine, soon, the rest of the world will follow. Raah! [laughing evilly as its magic shines forth for him]

Clay

Dojo, you're practically one of them critters! Have any ideas?

[Indignantly] I BEG YOUR PARDON! That's like me saying you're practically a monkey. Just because she speaks with a British accent doesn't make her smart, like a dragon! We fly, breathe fire and chew with our mouths closed!

I assure you that I will be here when you get back.

That's what my last master said when he went to for a soda and never returned!

Omi

What wise saying do you have for us?

...I have none.

Raimundo

C'mon, you can whip out one of those old cheesy sayings...[Master Fung makes an angry face]...that we all love.

I am afraid I am out of any 'cheesy sayings'.

If you want I can give you your file. [Pulls out an extremely large folder of paper. Master Fung makes another angry face] Not that you would need a file like that. [hides folder with a wide grin]

Raimundo

[yawns] Would it kill ya to get some reclining seats, Dojo.

Please return all complaints to their full shut-up position, as we approach our final destination: Jack Spicer's lair.