Omi quotes from Xiaolin Showdown

Omi

How did she know about the vault?

Clay

Um, I may have mentioned it to her, but she said she never saw one before. But wasn't a monk there guarding it?

Kimiko

She, uh, kind of got me to convince one of the boys to hand scrub all the bathrooms.

Raimundo

She had me fill the Armadillo with sea-water. I figured it was just a rebel prank.

Omi

Now it all makes sense! Dyris wanted to know what Shen Gong Wu would have the power to create giant volcanoes to melt the polar ice caps and flood the world. [Kimiko, Raimundo, Clay, Dojo, and Klowfange glares at him] I assumed it was idol chat-chit.

Hmm...you sure you lot are the good guys?

Kimiko

Did you get the Black Beetle?

Omi

Does it look like I got the Black Beetle?!

Raimundo

No, it looks like you lost the Gills of Hamachi.

Omi

Where are the Shen Gong Wu?! [the Black Beetle emerges from the water] The Black Beetle!

[pops out of the water] Back away! It's mine!

Omi

No. It is a Xiaolin Showdown!

I'll wager my Fist of Tebigong against your Gills of Hamachi.

Omi

The game is Steal the Wu. Whoever takes the other's Wu first wins, and we play it on dry land!

You fool! You can't let her out of the water! When on dry land, she turns to her true monstrous form!

Omi

[baffled] How bad can she be? [turns around, seeing Dyris transformed into her true form] Oh. That bad. [sighs] Let's go. Xiaolin Showdown!

Kimiko

Omi, look! Over there. It's the Tohomiko Electronics skyscraper!

Omi

Tohomiko? That sounds most familiar to my ears.

Kimiko

Hello? That's my last name.

Omi

Oh? I never thought of you with a last name.

Kimiko

And that's my Papa's building.

Clay

[In amazement] Your daddy is Toshiro Tohomiko, the video game tycoon?!

Kimiko

Yeah, I can't wait to introduce you all to him. He's super cool!

Raimundo

And super rich! [His eyes turn into dollar symbols. To Kimiko] Did I ever tell you that you are my favorite monk?

Omi

[gigantic sad face] I thought I was your favorite...

Omi

These workers appear most focused on their work. And their eyes- they have the same "nobody is home" look as Raimudo when he does his chores.

Raimundo

[offended] Yeah, well... you're short and you have a big head.

Omi

[picks up a U-Bot from the conveyor belt] Greetings. I am Omi, the greatest Xiaolin warrior ever!

Omi is the greatest Xiaolin warrior ever.

Omi

Ooh, I am most impressed with your superior robot intellect.

[changes into a physical appearance of Omi] And I of yours.

Omi

It is so nice to finally have a conversation with someone so intelligent.

I could not agree with you more!

Kimiko

Poor Rai. We've got to find him. Just so I can give him a piece of my mind!

We must not be too hard on Raimundo. It is the Shen Gong Wu that is controlling him.

Omi

Yes, but if he had not used the Golden Tiger Claws in the first place, we would not be down the lake with no paddles!

Hey, kids! Special news bulletin! I did a little recon over Brazil and it turns out there WAS a lava flow. If it wasn't for a certain hero we all know, one village would be toast!

Kimiko

So, Raimundo was telling the truth? That's a first.

Omi

Remember, "Ugly is one skin deep". Dojo is a hideous, fire-breathing dragon, but we look past that!

Ouch. Innocent dragon caught in the diss fest.

Mind turning down the volume? Some of us are trying to get a little shuteye.

Omi

[using the Tongue of Saiping] In the middle of the day? You are a very lazy animal!

Huh, what a mouth on someone so small.

Omi

I am not small, I am compact!

Yeah, anymore "compact" and we'd need a microscope to find you!

[takes the Tongue of Saiping from Omi] Perhaps I should hold on to this, young monk, until you learn to get along with animals quietly.

[appearing with the Shen Gong Wu Scroll] Drop what you're doing, boys and girls! We've got ourselves a magnitude 8.0 Shen Gong Wu alert.

The Fountain of Hui has just revealed itself. When activated, it provides unlimited knowledge.

Kimiko

Sounds like a pretty handy Wu if you're doing a crossword puzzle.

I'm afraid by itself, it can only provide random information. But, when combined with its sister Shen Gong Wu, the Eagle Scope, the two can be used to unlock the greatest secrets of the universe.

Omi

You mean like why baboons have such colorful buttocks?

Yes, and even greater secrets.

Omi

Now I understand! Jack is only a mere puppy!

Raimundo

...Puppet, I'm guessing.

Chase Young

You have learned well, Omi.

Omi

Well, I WAS taught by the best!

Chase Young

Thank you.

Omi

I was speaking of Master Fung!

Clay

How do you manage to win every game?

Omi

That is most simple: I cheat. [they all look at him] No, no, I am a betrayer when I say I cheat.

Raimundo

How do we know that you're not betraying us now, Omi?

Omi

[seriously] Because, Raimundo, you are all my friends, and I could never betray my friends. [Laughs, knocking his head at the table] Ha ha ha, I have mastered deception! Let's play again!

Omi

I knew you would twice-cross me! So I twice-crossed you first!

Raimundo

That's double-crossed, but I think we get the idea.

Omi

Jack Spicer, truth or lie, do you seek world domination because you feel small and worthless?

Jack

Lie!

Omi

No. Truth!

Jack

My turn. Truth or lie, do you work so hard as a Xiaolin monk because you know you're an odd ball geek with a big head?

Omi

Ha! That is most ridiculous. Lie!

Jack

But you do have a big ego.

Omi

No, my ego is the right size.

Jack

You lied!