Xena: Warrior Princess quotes

Xena

Wake me when you get to the urgent part!

Gabrielle

Now why don't you just cancel the pageant?

Salmoneus

Lord Clairon's tried that. Each of these guys is so invested in winning, nobody wants to quit first. The way I see it – what we need is a contestant to keep an eye on things from the inside.

Gabrielle

Oh, no, no, no! Don't even look at me. Now you know how I feel about these women being victimized by meat markets.

Xena

She's right. But war makes everyone a victim. So... meet Miss Amphipolis.

Xena

Looking for this? Now I want some straight answers.

you've got the wrong girl. Okay, okay, I was just kidding where's you're sense of humor?

Xena

Gee, I must have sweated it out. That you idea of funny too?

I was just trying to scare you.

Xena

Why did you want to scare me?

because I knew you knew. You know about me. And I didn't want you telling anyone. But when I came back to unlock the door, you had already gone.

Xena

What made you think I would tell.

You really don't get it do you? I guess being born a woman, you wouldn't. This is a chance for me to use a part of me most people usually laugh at. Or worse. The part I usually have to hide. Only here, that part works for me, see?

Xena

I don't think so.

Look, I don't expect you to understand. And I'm sorry I got you steamed, I just hope you'll let me quit the pageant in private instead of going public with it.

Xena

No way. May the best person win.

Gabrielle

This is sabotage!

Xena

Gabrielle, it's just a bad dress.

Gabrielle

Bad dress? Xena, Chiffon is bad. Chartreuse is bad. But this is a disaster. You will be eliminated half way down the catwalk.

Xena

Calm down. Look, if it really bothers you, I'll fix it. [Cuts dress]

Xena

Trust me, you don't want to make me angry.

Oh, on the contrary. I'm looking forward to it.

Xena

Okay. Are we having fun yet? Oops. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Gabrielle

So Miss Known World is a man?

Xena

Yep.

Gabrielle

That's kind of funny, huh?

Xena

Why? Beauty is beauty.

Gabrielle

And peace is peace.

Xena

Are you going to write about this?

Gabrielle

Oh, yes. I was thinking about calling it “Queen for a –

Xena

Gabrielle.

Gabrielle

“What a drag –

Xena

Gabrielle!

Gabrielle

Okay, okay.

Gabrielle

You've changed, Xena. Like this valley. Once it was a place full of death and violence. But now it's full of beauty and life. The same kind of change has happened to you.

Xena

Oh, that's right. You're fated to rule the world. Do you really believe that?

Of course. Each event in our life is part of a great plan. There are no accidents. Only destiny.

Xena

And who shapes this destiny - the gods?

Perhaps. Or it's the blood in our veins, our souls, our desires, our will. They're all in it, together, weaving a tapestry we call destiny.

Xena

Well, I can tell you one thing about your destiny: you're fated to have dinner in my cabin tonight.

You have a destiny Xena, but you have to choose it.

Xena

You'll be dead in thirty seconds. But know this: you won't be the last. Tell Hades to prepare himself. A new Xena is born tonight, with a new purpose in life: death.

Now that you know evil, were evil, you can fight evil.

When the living think of the dead, the dead can hear their thoughts. Listen..

Gabrielle

Xena, I know you can hear me, where ever you are. I know you've always told me to be strong but I can't be, not now. You can't leave me! I know it's not your time. I can feel it in my heart. I just feel this emptyness that I've never known before and it scares me. Xena, above all, just remember your destiny. Remember it and fight! Fight to come back! This world needs you. I need you..

Autolycus

Ah, another day, another defilement.

Gabrielle

I would've told her how empty my life was before she came, and all the lessons I learned...and that I love her"

Autolycus

Choose the one drink you wouldn't give your worst enemy, and give me a double.

Autolycus

Um... can you put that hand here (gestures to Solari's right breast)

(Moves hand to support her right breast, raises an eyebrow)

Autolycus

And... can you put that hand there (gestures to Solari's left breast)

(Places hand to support left breast)

Autolycus

Now this is purely business, not pleasure (place hand between Solari's breasts)

(Shocked look come over her face, stares down at his hand, a look of "did he just? he really just put his hand there. WOW)