Xena: Warrior Princess quotes

353 total quotes

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Alti: Well, if it isn't Xena's little bitch. (brings Gabrielle over to her) Welcome to the doghouse!

Amazon #1: Well, I'm a virgin and I'm gonna stay that way forever.
Xena: Forever is a long time...
Amazon #2: What's it like, being with a man?
Xena: The good news is, it's different every time...bad news is - it's different every time. You're always hoping for a Greek fire, but sometimes you just get diddly.
Gabrielle: Xena has studied the subject more than I have but I think she's trying to say that some people are better lovers than others.
Amazon #2: What makes a man a good lover? Being gentle and kind?
Xena resolutely: No.
Gabrielle dreamily: Yes.
Gabrielle after a while: It's a complicated subject.

Ares: I never knew you were looking for a father.
Xena: I'm not.
Ares: Well then someone clearly has the job.
Xena: Yeah, Gabrielle.
[Gabrielle smirks]
Ares: I would have paid to see that.

Ares: Ow, Athena is beating you like a dog out there. Put a poultice on it, it's gotta sting.
Xena: Thanks.
Ares: Hey, don't feel bad. After all, you're fighting the god of wisdom and warfare.
Xena: Don't forget weaving.

Ares: You have no idea how glad I am to see you again.
Hercules: You don't know how little I give a damn.
Ares: Well, you've been lucky so far, little brother. I've always gone kind of easy on you.
Hercules: Oh, so all those other times I knocked you flat on your ass you were just pretending?
Ares: I was worried what Dad would do if I really hurt you. You've always been his favorite.
Hercules: You see, that's the difference between you and me, I never really cared what 'Daddy' thought.

Ares: You'll always be a goody-two-shoes!
Gabrielle: Yeah, but with a really big sword.

Callisto: Love is the way.

Eli: Are you sure this is how it has to be? Isn't there some other way?
Callisto: The new world can only be built on the foundation of the old one. The order of the gods must fall. And you, Eli, are the hammer.

Eli: You don't need a sacred dagger or a sword. Love will be our shield and our weapon.

Gabriele: Xena, I´m losing the track of the plan. Are you going to flirt him to death?!

Gabrielle: Callisto... when Xena burned your family did you see them on fire? Did you... did you smell their flesh sizzling? Do you know what I think? You wanted them to die so you'd have a reason to be a bitch.

Gabrielle: Who are you?
Mavican: The name is Mavican. I'm looking for Xena.
Gabrielle: What do you want with her?
Mavican: I want to kill her. And I understand that killing you is the best way to meet her.

Gabrielle: Women love flowers. Except Xena, yeah, she's the only woman I know who doesn't stop to smell them.
(Scene showing Xena at a flower shop smelling flowers)

Gabrielle: You don't have the slighest idea?
Xena: No. Look we've been through this a thousand times. I don't.
Gabrielle: How could you not know? I just find that hard to believe, you know.
Xena: Tell me.
Gabrielle: Ares. Maybe he did...a god thing.
Xena: No.
Gabrielle: OK, fine. When was the last time you saw Hercules?

Hercules: I never thought I'd say this ... I believe you. But, how can I be sure you aren't going to change your mind?
Hera: Because of a lesson I regret teaching you a long time ago, Hercules. Parents should never outlive their children.