Xena: Warrior Princess quotes

353 total quotes

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Agis: Let me remind you of reality, Meg. You're a filthy tramp that I fished out of the gutter because you look like Xena and Diana. You're useful to me only if you're a convincing thespian.
Meg: You never said nothing about no kinky stuff. Besides, I pulled it off so far today.

Ares: Pain! So that's what it feels like. Not so bad really.
Gabrielle: Oh ya like it, huh? Well there's plenty more where that came from.

Autolycus: Ah, another day, another defilement.

Autolycus: Choose the one drink you wouldn't give your worst enemy, and give me a double.

Autolycus: Um... can you put that hand here (gestures to Solari's right breast)
Solari: (Moves hand to support her right breast, raises an eyebrow)
Autolycus: And... can you put that hand there (gestures to Solari's left breast)
Solari: (Places hand to support left breast)
Autolycus: Now this is purely business, not pleasure (place hand between Solari's breasts)
Solari: (Shocked look come over her face, stares down at his hand, a look of "did he just? he really just put his hand there. WOW)
Autolycus (pulls the pin holding her top together out) well mostly business,(Gabrielle glares)... now hold it (gestures to Solari holding her breasts, and moves off screen)

Callisto/Xena: Look into my eyes old woman, Xena's not home.
Cyrene: Who are you?
Callisto/Xena: Just another loving daughter.

Callisto: Do you know how boring Tartarus can be. Same old torture everyday, everyday.

Callisto: I say before I kill you, I'm going to make you squeal like a pig, you fat pathetic piece of dung.

Callisto: You know I don't drink intoxicants, Theodorus. I like to experience life in all its agonizing glory. I don't want to dull the sensation in any way.

Callisto: Your not falling in love with me, are you?
Theodorus : Well what if I was?
Callisto: I'd have to kill you. Love is a trick that nature plays to get us to reproduce. I want no part of it.

Callisto: [to Gabrielle] When I sliced open your husband, how long did it take him to die? [Callisto laughs and Gabrielle runs away]
Xena: There's a path out of the mountains to.... [watches Gabrielle run, then turns to Callisto] What's wrong with her?
Callisto: We played a game of truth or dare, but she's not very good at it.

Crone:You saved our temple. Name your reward. If it's ours to bestow, it's yours
Xena:Reward-- for what? For killing a boy barely out of his childhood? I don't want a reward; I want that boy's life back. By the gods, I wish I'd never followed the sword in the first place.

Draco: Give me the girls and Gabrielle. Or I will burn the place and everyone inside it.
Xena: You would kill the woman you love?
Draco: The question is: would you?

Gabrielle: Another one's fallen for you.
Xena: Again? What is it?
Gabrielle: Oh, the blue eyes... the leather. Men love leather.
Xena: I think it's time for a wardrobe change.
Gabrielle: Yeah. You could try wearing chainmail.
Xena: Nah. That'd just attract a kinkier group.
Gabrielle: You're probably right.
Xena: On the other hand, I could just stop bathing and wear a smelly wolf skin. That'd turn ‘em off.
Gabrielle: That's true. Of course, you'd also be traveling alone.

Gabrielle: Does an Amazon Queen beat a Warrior Princess?
Xena: Do you really want to find out?