Salmoneus quotes from Xena: Warrior Princess

Salmoneus

You! That's the little miss innocent who had me thrown in here in the first place.

Xena

She's my friend.

Salmoneus

(to Xena of Gabby) She's your friend. She's your friend?? You have a friend?? What is she, a warrior?

Gabrielle

Hey, back off! You wouldn't have been thrown here in the first place if you had kept your hands off my tomatoes.

Salmoneus

I can explain that!

Salmoneus

Xena! I was just talking about you! Sort of.

Xena

Beauty contest!! You sent urgent word for us to see some underdressed, overdeveloped bimbos in a beauty contest!

Gabrielle

Now why don't you just cancel the pageant?

Salmoneus

Lord Clairon's tried that. Each of these guys is so invested in winning, nobody wants to quit first. The way I see it – what we need is a contestant to keep an eye on things from the inside.

Gabrielle

Oh, no, no, no! Don't even look at me. Now you know how I feel about these women being victimized by meat markets.

Xena

She's right. But war makes everyone a victim. So... meet Miss Amphipolis.