TV show quotes
Somebody took the Russo's! I think they're from the government.
Oh my. I'll get Professor Crumbs. He'll know what to do! (thinks for a minute) Well, he might not, but at least I'll look like a hero for notifying him!
Wha-Wait! What should I do while you're gone?
Just stay here. That's what heroes say. I'll be back in a jiffy. [walks into the portal]
[once Mason is gone] What kind of hero says 'jiffy'?
Mason! How did they catch you?
I was admiring myself in the mirror with this hat on when they snuck up behind me.
How does someone sneak up behind you while you're looking in a mirror?
Well, I was very much admiring my hat.
Quick, pick a color!
Chartreuse.
Pick a SHORTER color!
[on Mason's back and jumps off] Whew, we're back. Hm, long walk!
[breathing heavily] Yep! For some of us it was!
Excuse me! My arms are tired from hanging on and trying to steer. Your ears are really tiny but really cute. [smiles]
[smiles and rubs his ear]
While we were stuck in that government facility I was afraid I would never see Waverly Place again. I missed you. [kisses the ground] There was definitely a horse parade here recently.
[exhausted] I must have lost thirty pounds on that walk. Do you know how long it's going to take me to gain them back?
Why is the Sub Station all boarded up?
Oh gosh. I gotta get in there! I wanna take a bath without someone yelling at me, "Hey lady, get out of my pool!" [bangs on the door]
Go away government agents! I have a soda gun and its loaded with root beer!
Harper, it's us! We escaped from the government guys!
I'm not falling for that! The real Russos are too lame to escape from anywhere.
Harper!!! [bangs on the door] Open up!! We'd flash in there but we don't have our powers. We only got back by hitching rides, taking buses, and a lot of walking.
[whips his head to her] YOU DIDN'T WALK AT ALL!!! YOU HAD ME CARRY YOU LIKE A CAMEL!!! [smiles] Love.
Too lazy to walk? Oh Alex it really is you! All right, hold on. I'll let you in. I just have to dismantle a bunch of booby traps I set up to protect myself.
Hi guys.
[walks into the Sub Station] It's so good to be home! [gets hit by one of the traps] AH! [falls down and is unconscious]
Oops. I forgot to get rid of that one.
You think they'd want anything to do with us anymore? You guys don't even have your powers. You're nothing without them. Nothing. (puts the ice pack on her face)
Guys come on. There's something wrong with the portal.
I can't contact anybody in the Wizard World. I've tried WizCom, WizPhone, WizText, and just straight up yelling into the thing. (opens portal door) Hello! Are you listening?
Nothing but a WizEcho.
(snorts) It's just a regular echo, Mason. We don't put "wiz" in front of everything.
Look! The Wizmergency Wizlight is on! That means the powers are still down. Oh no, the government must have captured everyone.
This is bad. That means they still have Professor Crumbs too. (goes in the restaurant kitchen and picks up the phone) Hello? I'd like to speak with the officer in charge.
What are you doing?
I'm calling the police. We have to do something to save the Wizard World. Hello officer yes I'd like to report-
(grabs phone) That you are doing a great job. Yep. Keep it up. Love ya! (hangs up phone) Alex! What were you gonna tell them?
(trying not to laugh) Not that I love them.
People don't hear it enough. Alex, you know you can't reveal magic.
Even I know that. That's why I just make people think I'm dumb. So if I slip up they'd figure, "Ah the kid's an idiot." I slip up all the time so...who's dumb now?
Alex, you can't call the police. We just need to lay low for awhile until this blows over and do nothing.
The wizard world is captured and you want us to do nothing? Fine. (goes upstairs)
The one time we ask the laziest girl on Earth to do nothing, she wants to do something!
I'm just happy she didn't ask me to carry her up the stairs.
Attention! Attention everyone! Listen, I know you're all here because I told you that Lady GaGa would be on a motorcycle jumping over a shark tank (Mason makes hand gestures and whooshing sounds) Yes, okay but that was just a front to get you here. There's something much more important.
What can be more important than GaGa?
The government has unfairly taken an entire population of Wizards hostage. I know because I'm a wizard too.
(makes "Ta-da! Here she is!" gesture)
Alex!
What are you doing? (to the press) This is a prank. You can all go now. Sorry!
(starts to walk off mumbling in agreement)
No! It's true! Look! Those are my bothers! They're wizards too!
And I'm a werewolf! Grr! Hiss! Grr!
(after the judge brings in a crystal ball)
We're gonna watch TV? Oh, now I really wish they had a food court. I can't watch TV without a corn dog.
(grabs her purse and pulls out a corn dog in a bag) Here, I was saving it to keep you quiet at church...just eat it. (she gives it to him and he takes a bite of it)
Seriously, I get a lawyer named Mr. Loser? What's your first name?
It's Big Time.
Big Time Loser?! Come on!
CUCUYS! I PROMISE I'LL BEHAVE MAMA! I'M SORRY! [continues screaming and runs upstairs]
What was she saying?
It sounded like she was ordering a number four from Fiesta Express.
Future wizard?! [takes the magazine] What?
Oh, that's me.
[looks at Max then grunts angrily] You didn't even win the competition! That's it! I'm doing whatever it takes to get back into this thing. But first, I'm going to draw a silly mustache and maybe a uni brow to express my discontent. [goes into the storage room]
Oh, now I get it. I just thought Alex was being uncharacteristically generous.
[laughing]
Hey everyone! Who wants to play a game called "Embarrass Your Boyfriend"! I'll go first! Did you know that Mason told me he sleeps in a nightgown and cap like Ebeneezer Scrooge? (all but Mason laugh)
What are you doing? I asked you to never tell anyone that!
I'm sorry Mason. Are you getting upset? Oh! here's another one! Did you know that Mason can only ride in a car when his head is sticking out the window and his tongue is flapping in the wind?! (all but Mason laugh)
Alex, stop! You're making me mad!
Oh, and here's the best one! Mason cries if you even SAY "Old Yeller" (turns to Mason quickly) OLD YELLER!
(turns his back to others, crying) STOP IT!
That is the saddest thing I have ever seen.
Pull over there. I have to get something healthy to eat to calm my nerves.
That's a donut shop.
I'll get the ones with the fruit in the middle!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Wizards of Waverly Place pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
