Alex Russo quotes from Wizards of Waverly Place

Harper

Then why did you yell at that guy playing in front of your restaurant?

Alex

Singing about your girl? Oh wah wah wah. You're playing in front of a restaurant, no wonder she's gone.

Jerry

Who's going to run the Sub Station? That's the only reason we had you kids!

Alex

(looks at him)

Jerry

Not you.

Alex

(smiles)

Harper

I'm going to start being careful right now. (slips) Whoa! (gets caught) Oh that was close. I almost slipped on my cheddar cheese fairy dust. (walks beside the cheddar cheese then falls off the stage)

Alex

Harper, are you okay?

Harper

I don't know. Is my foot suppose to bend this way?

Alex

(goes down the stage)

Mr. Laritate

Alex! Congratulations! You get to saddle up for the rodeo!

Alex

(gets back onstage and takes a few steps back) Out of my way. I gotta throw myself off the stage.

Justin

Make some room!

Mr. Laritate

(stops Alex) You're in the show, Alex.

Alex

(tries to run)

Mr. Laritate

(stops Alex again)

Alex

Yes.

Justin

With feeling!

Alex

(whispers) Oh. (to Zeke) With feeling.

Alex

Ew! (tries to clean the floor)

Justin

Would you die already?!

Alex

Fine! (gets a pillow and sits on it then whispers) I'm Dead.

Alex

As teacher's deputy... [walks over to TJ] TJ, why don't you take out your sketch pad and draw yourself a detention slip?

I'll show you a detention slip!

Alex

Thank you, that's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Well that backfired.

Max

This is awesome!

Justin

Is it Max? Is this what you really wanted for your birthday?!

Alex

If we live I am so taking my gift card back!

Alex

Did she steal our stories?

Justin

Wait.

Alex

Did she steal our stories?

Justin

Wait. [reads for a few more seconds then slams the book close] She stole our stories!

Alex

I knew it! Our stories are making this lady rich!

Harper

And famous!

Justin

And famous! There's a crazy ten minute sale, the kids get stuck in a movie, the brother turns invisible and they pour orange soda into a genie's lamp.

Ooh you seem upset. Did Mason break up with you already?

Alex

Who's Mason?

Alex

(shouting at Harper at the Grand Canyon) HARPER! I GIVE YOU PERMISSION!

Harper

WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Alex

I GIVE YOU PERMISSION!

Harper

A MISSION TO DO WHAT?

Alex

THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!

Harper

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE? I ALREADY SAW THAT!

Alex

MEET ME BACK AT THE HOUSE!

Harper

OKAY!

Alex

OH, SO YOU HEAR THAT? (leaves)

Mr. Laritate

(after Alex gives a speech on what she realized about the structure of the Helpers Club) That was a wonderful speech... (gets excited) Worthy of a ribbon!

Alex

(frustrated) No! I dont want a ribbon!

Mr. Laritate

It's either the ribbon or suspension.

Alex

(takes the ribbon) Oh, its a lovely ribbon.

Max

At least give me a spell to fix this!

Alex

[calls] You're on your own, jerkface!

Max

Thank you! [takes out wand, and tries to cast spell] 'You're on your own, jerkface!'

Justin

What are you doing?

Alex

You'll be interested to know that I've found the perfect present for dad.

Justin

[gasps][whispers to skull staff] She's going to turn her lips into a zipper!

Alex

Oh! That's a good shot! How long have you been working on that one?

Justin

Since the day that mom came home and said "Look! There's your little sister, Justin!"

What happened? Where did the milkshake machine go?

Alex

Justin, you did it!

Justin

Luckily one of those aliens dropped this thing and I was able to quickly figure out how to operate their advanced technology. It's a switch!