Alex Russo quotes from Wizards of Waverly Place

Alex

Max, how would you get a genie to come back to her lamp?

Max

I know, orange soda.

Alex

What?

Max

If someone poured orange soda in my room I'd be really mad.

Theresa

You spilled orange soda in your room again didn't you? What did we say about taking it up there?

Max

See she's really mad and she's going to my room.

Did my messenger fish just tell you my evil plan?

Alex

No.

All right, this time pay attention, 'Dear Mamma, you'd be proud to know that after the twelve ball tournament reveals the best young wizard I will drain [Alex puts hand over the messenger fish's mouth]

Alex

Ok, maybe he did tell me.

Alex

Oh, come on, she isn't that cute!

Justin

Yes, she is!

Alex

No, she isn't!

Justin

Uh huh.

Jerry

Very good, Justin. Alex, you're up.

Alex

Oh, okay. This guinea pig is now not, a dove with wings shall fill its slot. [a brick appears] Oh! It's a pretty dove!

Jerry

No. Oh! It's a pretty brick. You weren't concentrating. Max, you're up.

Max

This guinea pig is now not, a dove with wings shall fill with snot. [dove sneezes] I said snot, didn't I?

Justin

Got it.

Alex

Does he have to say, "Got it" after every question? It's throwing me off on my exam.

Max

[surprised] We're taking an exam?

Max

Why doesn't Dad just grade our papers?

Professor Crumbs

So that no one will get better grades just by batting their eyes and trying to look cute.

Alex

[batting her eyes and looking cute] Are you talking about me?

Justin

[mocking Alex's expression] Alex, you're doing it right now.

Jerry

Hey, what's that?

Alex

[hastily] Uh...

Alex

These parents are now not...

Jerry

What're you doing?

Alex

...two guinea pigs should fill their slot.

Alex

What did I just do? I panicked! I needed to buy myself more time.

To do what?

Alex

To panic!

Justin

I don't know why you guys even bothered taking that test. We all know that I'm the one that's gonna win the family wizard contest and keep my powers.

Jerry

That's not for a long while, Justin.

Alex

And what if they change the rules so only girls keep their powers? Oh, wait, you still might win.

Justin

Oh, Alex, you're so transparent. You know that I'm better than you at magic, so you have to lash out and make fun of me. And, you don't take any of this magic seriously.

Alex

I can't take *you* seriously. You use big words like "transparent". What are you, British?

Professor Crumbs

No, but I am.

Alex

[Professor Crumbs, who was about to take Alex's powers, is turned into guinea pig] Don't look at me, I don't have my powers!

Jerry

[shocked] Justin?

Justin

...I panicked!

Alex

This is my problem not yours. Don't let me drag you down.

Justin

But you don't drag me down. I don't want you to lose your powers. Everytime you mess up; I have to think of a way to fix it. You make me a better wizard.

Hey kid, I can tell you how to get rid of a bad report card.

Alex

Really? How?

Get good grades.

Alex

I hate you.

Justin

Hate you too. (they look at eachother for a bit, then hug)

Alex

...And if it means that much to you, i'll sign your tortilla petition.

Justin

[On the phone talking to his Mom] So you and Dad crossed over into New Jersary right, Then It's official I'm in charge? What if there was a tidal wave, If their was THEN can I be in charge? YES!! [Hangs up phone and blows a whistle] Okay, I'm in charge.

Alex

[Throws a water balloon at Justin] Hey, look, a tidal wave, now you're in charge!

Justin

Alex, you just ruined my new clothes.

Alex

Justin, when you wear something for a week, it's not new anymore. It just needs a wash.

Max

[Throws a water balloon at Justin] Hey, look, I just washed it. You're welcome!

(Chews Alex's sweater) Now that was fun!

Alex

Really? Because my word was weird

3,2,1. Evil.

Alex

(turns around and looks evil)

Justin

Yeah, it's too late.

Alex

(looks at Ronald) I don't look like him, do I? (takes off Justin's glasses and looks at her reflection and gasps)

And Professor Crumbs, I'm firing you! And just to prove that I am evil, I'll take that beard.

Professor Crumbs

(takes off his beard and gives it to Ronald)

Alex

(shocked and covers her mouth)

Justin

(shocked and takes off his glasses)