Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? quotes

These prison clothes offend my unique sense of fashion. Isn't my right to wear plaid in the Constitution? Carmen is in (Continent). Tell her to get me a lawyer.

Know why they call me Wonder Rat? 'Cause it's a wonder that I'd rat on my own boss. (giggles) Carmen scooted to (Continent). Go get her.

I just got back from the prison laundry, and they mixed colors and whites in the same wash! (cries) I can't stand it anymore! Go find Carmen in (Continent). Tell her to help me.

A virus has infected my system software. It causes me to divulge Carmen's location. You'll find her in (Continent). Please, don't say that I sent you.

Prison sports are really fun. I get used as a frisbee, a dartboard, and a second base. Carmen should see me play, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.

Aw, man! This prison life is bogus. The guards just confiscated my tattoos. Carmen's gotta spring me, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.

This prison food is so dreadfully boring, I can't even get a jar of Grey Poupon. Maybe Carmen could help, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.

We were partners in crime. We should be cellmates in jail, but the warden wants to split up this dream team. Carmen's laying low in (Continent). Tell her she's gotta help.

(coughs) Prison life is so disgusting, I can't believe I have to live in a place this clean. (coughs) Carmen's hiding in (Continent). (snorts) Go tell her to spring me. (sneezes)

I thought maybe I take some classes while I was in jail, but the warden says they don't have a nursery school. I need Carmen to help me, but she's in (Continent). Go get her.

(as clowns) Help!

Chief

This is Wonder Rat.

(singing): Wonder Rat

Chief

A wannabe fat cat dressed like a rat with a brain the size of a gnat. His last known whereabouts: South America. High in the Andes Mountains of Peru, the mighty Amazon River begins its 4,000 mile trek across the rainforests of South America. Along the way, hundreds of rivers feed its rush to the Atlantic coast of Brazil where it empties more water into the ocean than any other river in the world. The Amazon basin is home to countless plant and animals species, most of which we know little or nothing about. But many we have studied provide valuable medicine and knowledge. Or they did until today...

(singing): Oh, no!

Chief

...when Wonder Rat brazenly breezed into Brazil with a king-sized pump of an industrial strength hose. He switched on his chunk pump, drained the entire Amazon, then whisked the water away. Now, he's using it to fill his big cheese pool. Too bad that ratface forgot that piranhas like rodents as snacks. Gumshoes, grab him before the fish do and solve today's case...

(singing): Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...A RODENT RAN THROUGH IT!

Know why they call me Wonder Rat? 'Cause it's a wonder that I'd rat on my own boss! (giggles) Carmen scooted to North America. Go get her.

Chief

This is Lynne Thigpen for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, and remember the ACME Triangle of Excellence: vigilance, dedication, courage!

Chief

This is Vic the Slick.

(singing) Vic the Slick

Chief

A low-class sleaze, he has no taste. Basically, the guy's a waste. His last known whereabouts: Southern Florida. A certain mouse with a theme park is this state's most famous animal, but for sheer beauty, it's tough to top the Florida panther. This sleek cat once roamed freely across the Southeastern US, but poachers, builders, and bad drivers have forced this feline to the edge of extinction. Today, no more than 50 panthers are left, isolated in a few areas of Southern Florida. Luckily, there are efforts underway to save these coolest of cats from vanishing forever. Until today, that is...

(singing) Oh, no!

Chief

...when Vic the Slick pulled an Everglade raid. He catnapped those precious panthers, then suited them up for his feline football franchise. Gumshoes, I'm counting on you to crack today's case...

(singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief

...CATS NIPPED!

Chief

This is Wonder Rat.

(singing) Wonder Rat

Chief

Thugging and thieving, that's his biz. The world's only crook who loves Cheez Whiz. His last known whereabouts: Los Angeles, California. In 1923, Hollywoodland was a posh new neighborhood in Los Angeles. As a sales gimmick, realtors had the word "Hollywoodland" built out of huge letters and placed atop nearby Mt. Lee. As Hollywood became the heart of the movie industry, the sign became a symbol of showbiz glamour. But the landmark letters fell into disrepair, and the word "land" was lost completely. In 1978, the Hollywood sign was finally rebuilt, and can still be admired from miles away. Or it could until today...

(singing) Ooh!

Chief

...when Wonder Rat pulled a daring daylight heist. He hovered in on his cheddar chopper, grabble-hooked Hollywood, then hauled it away. That star-struck stooge thinks the sign will help his own cheesy career. Gumshoes, only you can solve today's case...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...A SIGN OF TROUBLE!

Chief

This is Vic the Slick.

(singing) Vic the Slick

Chief

A lowdown crook, a sly deceiver dresses like a reject from Saturday Night Fever. His last known whereabouts: Tasmania. Many of Australia's early immigrants were convicts from England, sent down under to do their time for such heinous crimes as hanky theft. Port Arthur Prison on Tasmania's Southeastern coast housed more than 12,000 inmates during its heyday in the 1800s. Some convicts there wore irons and were frequently flogged until some genius figured out that whippings made them more violent. Now the ruins of Port Arthur Prison stand as a grim reminder of a less kinder, gentler era. Or they did until today...

(singing) Oh, no!

Chief

...when Vic the Slick tornadoed into Tasmania like a devil rodent he is. No crook likes a prison, so Vic saw a way to renew the ruins. He cut through the red tape and converted them from a pokey to a paid entry park. Gumshoes, go bust that bungling burglar, then solve today's case...

(singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief

...JAILHOUSE ROCKED!

Chief

This is Patty Larceny.

(singing) P-P-P-Patty

Chief

Looks sweet, acts discreet, thinks that stealing's kind of neat. Her last known whereabouts: the border between Brazil and Argentina. With a span of over two miles, the mighty Iguazu are the world's widest waterfalls. When the churning waters of the Iguazu River cascade over cliffs and crash into the gorge below, the Earth shakes and the roar deafens. As water hits the rocks, a cloud of mist rises into the air and so, local Guarani Indians call this area, "the place where clouds are born." It's also the place where spectacular rainbows are constantly reborn as sunlight meets the mist. At least it was until today...

(singing) Oh, no!

Chief

...when Patty Larceny wandered near the thundering waters and devised a devious deed for a rainbow ripoff. She positioned the mirror just right so it reflected the light into her rainbow robber. Now the world is in black and white and Patty's keeping the colored light for herself. Gumshoes, I'm counting on your brilliance to solve today's case...

(singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief

...MINIMUM SECURITY PRISM!

Chief

This is Vic the Slick.

(singing) Vic the Slick

Chief

Used car salesman, then a lounge singer. Now he's Carmen's criminal swinger. His last known whereabouts: Cayman Islands. The Caymans were once called "los tortugas," or the turtles and have long been known for their turtle population. The native Green Sea Turtles are endangered, but there are also big business on the Grand Cayman turtle farm. The farm raises green turtles to be sold as meat, so folks can buy from them instead of hunting turtles illegally. But the U.S. and other countries won't import the farm's turtle products because the turtle's endangered species status, and that debate continued until today...

(singing) Ooh!

Chief

...when Vic cruised to the Caymans, plunger in hand, and snarked every last turtle from sea to land. No one's sure if he wants them for soup or a sideshow. Gumshoes, you've got to end Vic's shell game and close today's case...

(singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief

...WHAT A SHELL LACKING!

Chief

This is Robocrook.

(singing) Robocrook

Chief

Screws in his head, bolts for brains. Follow his trail of rustoleum stains. His last known whereabouts: Prague, Czech Republic. Every hour on the hour for over 500 years, crowds have gathered before Prague's Old Town Hall to watch the Astronomical Clock put on its show. In addition to telling time, this amazing clock also tells the date and corresponding holiday, the day's length, the phases of the moon, the position of the Zodiac, even the time until the next solstice. Rebuilt and added on to over the centuries, this medieval marvel has withstood the many tests of time. But time ran out on the clock today...

(singing) Crime!

Chief

... when Robocrook saw it was time to get a new watch. He rolled into Old Town, clamped his claws on the clock, then counted down to blastoff. Now he has no excuse for tardiness. Gumshoes, catch that clock-copping crockpot and crack today's case...

(singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief

...TIME-X'D!

Chief

This is Kneemoi

(singing): Kneemoi

Chief

She's robbed 52 planets in 12 dimensions, but is so darn cute it's beyond comprehension. Her last known whereabouts: China. On any given morning in China, you'll see people in gardens, parks, and on rooftops performing a series of curious looking stretches. These exercises called Tai Chi Chuan are a workout for both the mind and body. Tai Chi movements with unusual names like storks, spreads, wings, and bend bow, and shoot tiger require a good deal of strength and great concentration. The Chinese consider Tai Chi a kind of medicine and believe it helps prevent or cure illness. At least they believed it until today...

(singing): Crime!

Chief

...when Kneemoi made a surprise visit to China. She saw all that balance and discipline and decided she wanted some too. Using the Roddenberrian mind meld which kind of tickles, she burgled everyones brain and removed all knowledge of Tai Chi from their heads. Now, no one's got the moves but Kneemoi. Gumshoes, you've got to unravel the riddle of today's case...

(singing): Woo-woo-ooo-oo

The Chief

...LEARNED KNEEMOI!

I want you to do some time traveling, Kneemoi.

Ooh, you mean like going back to the future?

No, like going across time zones. North America is divided into 10 of them and each zone usually means a one hour difference in time. Hide in Alberta province where it's one hour earlier than in a central time zone.

You earthlings are too hung up on time. When you're talking light-years, an hour doesn't make any difference.

Well, no one cared much how time was measured until the railroads came along. Then time had to be standardized so trains could keep to a schedule.

Now, that gives me a fun idea. Why don't I steal the time zone? (laughs)

(Each time the Tai Chi Chuan is revealed in the 2nd Round):

Prison sports are really fun! I get used as a Frisbee, a dartboard, and a second base! Carmen should see me play. But she's in South America. Go find her.

Chief

This is Sarah Nade.

(singing) Sarah Nade

Chief

She's going through a teenage phase and dyes her hair in many ways. Her last known whereabouts: Big Island, Hawaii. Where can you visit lava fields, desert, and tropical rainforests all in one day? No, it's not the virtual reality trade show, it's Hawaii's Volcanoes National Park. The park includes the active volcano Kilauea, often seen steaming and sputtering away. Hikers can walk the rim of Kilauea, trek through volcanic ash and pumice sand dunes, or visit the young rainforest on the wetter side of the mountain. There are many unusual sites to entertain the park's several million yearly visitors. Or there were until today...

(singing) Ooh!

Chief

...when Sarah piloted her pirate vessel into Hawaiian waters. She hopped off the boat, whipped out her jackhammer, hacked the whole big park off the Big Island, and then hauled it away. She wants to use the volcanoes as heavy metal smoke machines. Gumshoes, pounce on that park poacher and solve today's case...

(singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief

...A SHRIEK OF NATURE!

Chief

This is Contessa.

(singing) Contessa

Chief

Her accent's fake, it's phony royal. This pompous jerk makes my blood boil. Her last known whereabouts: South Africa. On February 2nd, 1659, Jan van Riebeeck wrote in his diary, "Today, wine was pressed for the first time from cape grapes." Thus began South Africa's long history of winemaking. France's King Louis XVI stocked his cellar with South African wine. Napoleon demanded it when in exile on St. Helena Island. And today, South Africa's vineyards, located mostly on the Cape of Good Hope, produced some 600 million bottles of wine each year. Or they did until today...

(singing) Oh!

Chief

...when Contessa crashed the cape in search of grape. Driving a customized bottle of chateau de fim la noire, she picked every last vineyard in the country clean. She'll never learn that theft just isn't chic. Gumshoes, put the grab on that grapacious Contessa and solve today's case...

(singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief

...WINE NOT!

Chief

This is Double Trouble.

(singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)

Chief

A double whammy like flim and flammy, they're always on the lammy. Their last known whereabouts: Budapest, Hungary. Buda and Pest, the two halves of Hungary's capital, are separated by the Danube River, and until the Chain Bridge went up in 1849, it wasn't easy getting across. Citizens walked the frozen Danube in winter, and used a floating bridge in summer. But after that first bridge was built, seven more followed finally linking all parts of the city. All eight bridges were destroyed in World War II, but then rebuilt and have kept Budapest connected ever since. Or they did until today...

(singing) Ooh!

Chief

...when Double Trouble buzzed Budapest in their stealth stealer. They swooped in low, grapple-grabber in tow, then the thieves stole all the links across the Danube. Now those loop-de-looping stooges want to open their own aerial stunt park. Gumshoes, bring in those bridge-boosting burglars and crack today's case...

(singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo

Chief

...DANUBE-BEE-DOO-BEE-DUPED!

Chief

This is Robocrook.

(singing) Robocrook

Chief

Don't be fooled by his silvery paint. One thing's for sure, the Tin Man he ain't. His last known whereabouts: the Milky Way Galaxy. A galaxy is a bunch of stars, planets, gases, and outer space dust bunnies held together by our friend Mr. Gravity. The Milky Way Galaxy is the intergalactic address for our solar system and perhaps billions of others. Celestial bodies revolve around the Milky Way center, much the way our planets revolve around the sun. Now why is it called the Milky Way? Because the view of the galaxy you see from Earth looks like a milky haze spreading across the sky. Or it did until today...

(singing) Ooh!

Chief

...when Robocrook showed his fairest face in outer space. That heister hopped on his hyper Hoover, switched on the suction, and glommed the whole galaxy, then he staged his own test of the Big Bang Theory. Gumshoes, you've got to round up Robo and solve today's case...

(singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief

...STARDUST BUSTER!

Chief

This is Top Grunge.

(singing) Top Grunge

Chief

Crossing over that traffic divider, he was an extra in Easy Rider. His last known whereabouts: Mount Washington, New Hampshire. Don't you just love the view from atop a tall mountain? Don't you really love when you don't have to hike to get there? Well, if you want to look out from atop Mount Washington, the famous Cog Railway is one way to go. Steam, created by burning coal, provides the power to turn a large gear called a cogwheel. Teeth on the gear hook into the track, moving the coach car up and down the mountain. For over a century, the Cog Railway has chugged folks 6,288 feet to Mount Washington Summit to enjoy the view. Or it did until today...

(singing) Ooh!

Chief

...when New Hampshire's niceness was nastied by Top Grunge. He chased the train off the tracks, hopped into the coal car, naturally, and commandeered the Cog right off the rails. Gumshoes, get us back on track and solve today's case...

(singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief

...I'VE BEEN BURPIN' ON THE RAILROAD!

Chief

This is Patty Larceny.

(singing) P-P-P-Patty

Chief

Face of an angel, soul of a crook. Her favorite three words are swiped, stole, and took. Her last know whereabouts: the Greek Island of Delos. In Greek mythology, the sun god Apollo was born in a lake on Delos, and for centuries, the island was a sacred site for his worshippers. Now lions were Apollo's sacred animal, so a row of roaring marble felines was installed to protect the lake of his birth. As many as 16 lions might have been created originally, but only seven of them are left today. At least one sacred lion was swiped, and we don't know what happened to the others. But there was no mystery when those last seven vanished today.

(singing) Ooh!

Chief

That greed goddess Patty dallied into Delos, and with her pink pickproof kitty collars, she leashed up the lions, then thundered away. That criminal kid will do anything to get an A. Gumshoes, you've got to cage that conniving crook in today's caper...

(singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo

Chief

...THE LION STING!