Jeff quotes from What I Like About You

Jeff

(after Jake gives Holly a latte) Jake, huh, nice!

Holly

Do you want his number?

Jeff

Why don't you just go for it?

Holly

There is nothing to go for. For starters, his last name is "Wood."

Jeff

So?

'Holly

So, Holly Wood. Why even go down that road?

Holly

I told Jake I knew he had a thing for me, but he denied it. Then he told everyone what I said and now they all think I am conceited.

Jeff

Are you saying he denied the heat?

Holly

No, no, he liked me...he just didn't like being rejected by me.

Jeff

So he did like you, but you rejected him first, then he turned it around to make you the object of ridicule. My God!

Holly

I know!

Jeff

That kid's a genius!

Gary

I'm just glad I can spend Thanksgiving here, instead of at the Thorpe Family Cod Fish Extravaganza.

Val

What, cod fish?

Holly

You don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving?

Gary

Oh no no no, turkey - sacred in my family. One actually saved my great-grandfather's life.

Jeff

Well, they are known for their heroism.

Gary

True. See, according to legend, my great-grandfather went for a walk on Thanksgiving morning and got lost in a blizzard. Yeah, he wandered around for hours until he came upon a wild turkey, who led him back to safety. And that brave bird was the last turkey my family ever ate.

That kind of turkey is not for eatin'.

Jeff

It's not?

Well, it's for eatin' obviously, but you know what I mean!

Jeff

You know, the MacArthur Red has a higher IQ than any other breed of turkey.

Gary

Yeah? What's its IQ?

Jeff

Eight.

Gary

Hey, do you think that flower guy was serious about the MacArthur Platinum?

Jeff

Nah, no turkey has an IQ of 12.

Val

Okay, she didn't start off as the perfect employee, but how bad could she have been?

Jeff

She soaked a man's chicken and lost four lobsters.

Val

She told me five.

Jeff

Five?! (looks around in alarm)

Jeff

To be completely honest with you, maybe things worked out for the best.

Val

What do you mean?

Jeff

When she left, it was the best.

Val

Aww... you're exaggerating.

Jeff

No, after she quit, the busboys had a party. There was dancing.

Jeff

She's back... for the long haul. How long is the long haul?

Val

I am proud of her. Do you know how much courage it took to march back in here?

Jeff

She's courageous? (gestures to the busboys) They have to work with her. They're the real heroes.

Jeff

So basically, all you need to focus on now is chopping up these peppers.

Holly

Are you sure you don't want me out there with all the customers? I mean, I'm such a people person.

Jeff

Oh, I know. But tonight, I need you to be a pepper person.

Holly

Hey, I finished all the peppers. Want me to go out and help the waiters?

Jeff

Uh... You finished all the green peppers. You still have two more colors to go!

Holly

No problem. I'll chop anything in any color.

We need a poached sal- where is everyone?

Jeff

Gone!

Well, who's going to cook the food?!

Holly

I will!

Jeff

What? You can't cook.

Holly

Yeah, I can! I cook killer omelettes.

That's it? Just omelettes?

Jeff

No, no, no... that's good. Tell everyone the chef's throwing the menu, it's omelette night.

Omelette night?

Jeff

It's whimsical. Go, go, go!

Gary

Ooh, Holly's making omelettes? Can I have one with sundried tomatoes and just a little-

No!

Gary

Uh, Jeff?

Jeff

What?

Gary

Either you're missing a lobster or that is one freaky cockroach.