VeggieTales · Season 1
[after "Larry-Boy! and the Fib from Outer Space!" ended; Bob and Larry are on the countertops with him in LarryBoy costume again]
Wow! That was really something. [to Larry] You did a great job, Larry... uh, Boy.
Thank you, Bob. Um, we need to hurry this along. I have a meeting with the action figure people in ten minutes.
Action figures?
Yes, Bob. LarryBoy mania is sweeping the nation. If you're not on board, you're gonna miss the train.
I, uh... I have no idea.
Now, you do.
Well, we gotta clear the stage now, Bob. It's time for the world premiere of my new music video. [hops off]
Y-You're what? You're joking, right?! [music video credits appear] He's not joking. [follows LarryBoy] Larry, we gotta talk!
I! Am! That! Hero!
[first lines; Bob and Junior are on the countertops]
Hi, kids, and welcome to VeggieTales. I'm Bob the Tomato.
And I'm Junior Asparagus.
And we're here to answer your questions.
Yep, that's right.
I bet you're wondering where Larry is. [Junior looks with his smile at the camera] He was a little tired after the last show, so we decided to let him sleep in today. But don't worry, he'll be here pretty soon. In the meantime, Junior Asparagus has very graciously agreed to help out.
Hi!
Now, Junior.
Yes, Bob?
Today we got a letter from Victor Bartholomew from Sausalito, California.
Oh. Hi, Victor!
Victor has a problem. He says there's a kid named Louis in his class who hit him yesterday.
Oh, my!
"Oh, my" is right! Now in church, Victor just learned that God wants us to be nice to people; even when they're not nice to us. But Victor doesn't really feel like doing that. Deep down inside, he wants to hit Louis back. What should he do? Should he do it his way or should he do it God's way?
Oh, wow. I know how you feel, Victor. Sometimes the stuff I learn in church doesn't sound like very much fun, sometimes I feel like doing things my own way, too. [turns to Bob] Do you suppose we have a story about that?
Oh, do we? Have I ever told you about the Israelites?
Hmm, the Israelites... Oh yeah, I remember those guys! Weren't they supposed to be God's chosen people?
That's what the Bible says.
Oh, I bet they always followed God's directions.
Oh, ho, ho. You'd think so, wouldn't you? But sometimes God's directions didn't seem to make sense to them. You see...well... maybe I should just show you.
Huh?
Close your eyes, Junior, and don't open them until I say so. [closes his eyes]
[closes his eyes as well] All right!
[The defenders of Jericho, played by the French Peas, are taunting the Israelites from atop the city's great wall]
Who are you?
Who are we? I think we should ask. Who are you?
Oh, um... I am Joshua. And these are the children of Israel.
Ooh! Hello, children!
Hi!
It was nice to meet you. Now go away!
Yes! [blows raspberry]
[clears throat] No, you don't understand. God has given us this land for our new home. So, well... you're gonna have to leave.
[laughs] Did you hear that, Jean-Claude? The little pickle says we have to leave!
I'm a cucumber.
[laughs] That is hilarious! [clears throat] Let me point something out to you, pickle. We have a wall!
Uh-huh.
You do not!
No!
If anyone is to be doing the leaving, it will be you!
Oh, that is right!
Now, listen to me! Our God said that this land was ours, and that all we had to do was follow His directions. So... I'm afraid... if you don't come out, we're gonna have to come in there after you!
[Jean-Claude and Philippe laugh.]
I'd like to see you try! You could never get over our giant wall, [under breath] tiny pickle!
Yes, tiny pickle! You are not a mighty dill, you are just a baby gherkin!
[feeling insulted] I'm a cucumber!
[Jean-Claude and Philippe laugh]
[bumps his slushie off the edge] Ooh! My slushie!
[The slushie hits Jimmy on the head. Josh is appalled]
[frustrated] Maybe we should fall back and regroup.
[Discouraged by the giant walls of Jericho, the Israelites discuss plans over a campfire]
That's a big wall!
This time, I really mean it! We should go back to Egypt. [everybody looks at him in disbelief] Don't you remember? Snorkeling in the Nile? Three square meals a day? Plenty of exercise? Oh, it was paradise!
We were in slavery.
Nothing is perfect.
Listen, kids! That land is rightfully ours! And the only way we're gonna get it is by taking down that wall! Right, Jerry?
Uh, yeah. Th-That's right, Jimmy.
So Jerry and I are gonna put our heads together and come up with a plan... to take down the wall!
Yeah!
They are so aggressive.
[Josh finishes explaining God's directions to the Israelites]
So... we're supposed to hop around the city for seven days, blow our little horns, yell, and the walls are just gonna fall down.
Yep. Those are God's directions.
Well... I'm sure that would work great... if the walls were made out of Jell-O!
Ooh! Then we could eat 'em!
Last call for Egypt! Who's coming with me?
I will!
Count me in!
Just a minute! I think you'll find our plan a bit more sophisticated. Blowin' horns in the desert isn't gonna do it. What we need is serious firepower. Jerry, the curtain! [Jerry uncovers a tarp to reveal a giant rocket; Scooter, Pa, and Tom gasp in amazement] Behold our creation: the Wallminator 3000! [the Israelites applaud]
How are we clapping?
I have no idea.
Well, Pa? Do you still want to see the pyramids?
I've seen the pyramids. Ha! I built the pyramids! Let's go to Jericho!
The next day, they all set off again to march around Jericho. Now, God never said it would be easy. No, the people of Jericho hit 'em with everything they had.
Fire one! Fire two!
But the Israelites remembered that they were following God's directions and they kept on marching. Six days they marched and nothing could stop them. On the seventh day, just like God had told them, they marched around Jericho seven times while the priests blew their horns. ["When the Saints Go Marching In" playing] And just like God said, when they finished marching, the priests blew one long blast and then all the people yelled.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
[hacking]
[The Israelites look up at the wall as it's still standing. The soldiers laugh at their enemies' seemingly futile attempts to destroy their wall, when suddenly, a brick jumps out of its place. This silences their laughter. As they turn to see the brick, a low rumbling is heard. The rumbling sound gets louder as the ground starts to quake.]
[looking look at each other for two seconds and realize their wall is collapsing.] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
[Joshua and the Israelites back away from the wall as it starts to collapse. The huge gong bell falls off along with the tower with a loud bang noise. As the walls collapse, a huge dust storm blows as the Israelites shut their eyes tight. Eventually, the dust clears and the Israelites are all covered in dust. Jericho has been reduced to bricks, broken pillars and a single bathtub. The dust covered soldiers are somehow unharmed.]
[gasp]
Hello! My name is Joshua, and God has given us this land!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! [They finally surrender and run away from Joshua and their destroyed fortress in fright]
So the Israelites obeyed God and the walls fell down.
Wow!
Finally, after 40 years, they were in their new home.
[has dust in his eye] Ow! Hey! Oh, yeah. Oh… Ow! Ow! Boy, did I pick a lousy day to wear my contacts!
[last lines]
[yawns] Is it time for the show? [the lights and Qwerty's monitor screen turns off] Aw, nuts.
[after The Thankfulness Song] [sniffles] Yeah. Maybe I should just try to be thankful for the time I did have with my Silly Songs. [sobbing] Bye, Silly Songs. [voice breaking] Nice knowin' ya. [tearfully sings] It isn't any trouble just to S-M-I-L-E...
Okay, wrong song. Bad timing.
Look. Pal. M-Maybe it's none of my business but...why are you so down? You want to tell me what's going on?
I'll tell you what's going on! Perhaps this will clear things up... [Archibald and Larry glare at each other for a bit before he selects his song: "His Cheeseburger" from "Madame Blueberry"]
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[Archibald has just confessed to his cancelling of Silly Songs]
[gasps] You don't mean...?
Yes! It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame!
That's despicable. I'd feel that way too if somebody took my songs away.
It's just that I was only looking out for the public's best interests. We do have standards to uphold, you know. [Jimmy glares] Yes, I see. But then I got these! [pulls out a stack of signed petitions and reads] "We the undersigned believe that Archibald Asparagus should forgive and forget the Song of the Cebu incident and return Silly Songs with Larry to its original Veggie programming. Signed, 167,512 adoring fans, including, but not limited to, the entire population of Duluth, Minnesota, and even someone in Moose Lake."
Moose Lake?
Yes, Moose Lake.
Wow... Moose Lake.
[emerges from shadow] I believe you have something that belongs to those boys.
Well, I... I... I, uh... [starts backing up, but comes face-to-face] Wh.. Wh... Wh-Who are you?
[sternly] I'm LarryBoy.
[he uses his super suction ear on the Milk Money Bandit and hangs him over the edge]
Ah! Uh, what are you going to do?
It's not nice to take people's milk money!
[he turns the Milk Money Bandit upside down]
Hey! Take it easy, fella! Don't get crazy! [LarryBoy starts shaking him] HEEEEEEYYYY! WHOOOOOOA! OOH! AHH! OHH! [milk money dropped out of the bandit's pocket and landed back to the peas, and he turns him back up] I ain't feeling so good. [LarryBoy starts hopping] Hey, hey. Hey! Where are we going?! You can't do this! I'VE GOT RIGHTS! HEY, HEY!!
[Officer Scooter is chilling by his police car, listening to "I Can Be Your Friend" from "Are You My Neighbor?". The Milk Money Bandit falls inside through the roof, jumpscaring him.]
AHH!! It's another space alien! [Milk Money Bandit chuckles nervously] Oh, it's the Milk Money Bandit. We've been looking for you for months. Thanks, Larry-Boy!
[he sees the Weed on the flowerbed] Hey! You're a weed!
That's right, but did you hear about Alfred?
Oh, Alfred's gonna be mad! He hates weeds in his flowerbed!
Yeah, but, did you hear about Alfred?
You better get out of here, before Alfred comes back!
You're not listening to me! Did you hear... Ugh.
[off-screen] Master Larry! It's the Mayor! She says it's urgent!
I'll be right there! [to The Weed] I gotta go. Hold that thought. [hops back into the mansion, barges in] Alfred, there's a huge weed on your flower bed! I told it to leave.
Oh, dear. Well, wait til you hear what the Mayor has to say.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's VeggieTales pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
