BobThe next day, they all set off again to march around Jericho. Now, God never said it would be easy. No, the people of Jericho hit 'em with everything they had.
Bob
But the Israelites remembered that they were following God's directions and they kept on marching. Six days they marched and nothing could stop them. On the seventh day, just like God had told them, they marched around Jericho seven times while the priests blew their horns. ["When the Saints Go Marching In" playing] And just like God said, when they finished marching, the priests blew one long blast and then all the people yelled.
IIsraelites
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
[The Israelites look up at the wall as it's still standing. The soldiers laugh at their enemies' seemingly futile attempts to destroy their wall, when suddenly, a brick jumps out of its place. This silences their laughter. As they turn to see the brick, a low rumbling is heard. The rumbling sound gets louder as the ground starts to quake.]
FPFrench Peas
[looking look at each other for two seconds and realize their wall is collapsing.] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
[Joshua and the Israelites back away from the wall as it starts to collapse. The huge gong bell falls off along with the tower with a loud bang noise. As the walls collapse, a huge dust storm blows as the Israelites shut their eyes tight. Eventually, the dust clears and the Israelites are all covered in dust. Jericho has been reduced to bricks, broken pillars and a single bathtub. The dust covered soldiers are somehow unharmed.]
Hello! My name is Joshua, and God has given us this land!
FPFrench Peas
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! [They finally surrender and run away from Joshua and their destroyed fortress in fright]
Bob
So the Israelites obeyed God and the walls fell down.
Bob
Finally, after 40 years, they were in their new home.
[has dust in his eye] Ow! Hey! Oh, yeah. Oh… Ow! Ow! Boy, did I pick a lousy day to wear my contacts!
[As Jimmy and Jerry Gourd are on the countertop, disguised as Bob and Larry.]
Now, we got a letter today, from a kid named, uh... Jimmy, who lives in a place near... Texas somewhere.
This kid, uh, Jimmy, says that he knows this other kid named, uh...
Yeah, sure! Jerry! This other kid named Jerry! Now, Jimmy says that this kid, Jerry, is soooo selfish, one of the most selfish kids in the whole world, so selfish, it just makes you sick!
Jerry. He's not selfish, he's nice.
No! He's selfish! Remember? The letter?
Uh, no! Jimmy said that Jerry was nice, and that other kid... Hubert was selfish!
Who's gonna name their kid Hubert? Look, Jerry- er, Larry! In the letter we got today from that kid Jimmy who lives near Texas somewhere, it said that his friend Jerry was selfish! That's what it said, remember?
[angrily; his Larry costume falls off] You want a piece of me?!
Hey! Whoa! Oh, man! You're the one who said Jerry! I was gonna--
Bob the Tomato
[offscreen] Hey! What's going on here?!
[Jerry puts Larry costume back on upside down. Bob and Larry enter the countertop.]
Yeah! What are you guys doing?!
Uh, hi there! I'm Bob the Tomato!
Bob
[hops to Jimmy and Jerry] You're not Bob the Tomato, I'm Bob the Tomato! Jimmy? Jerry? Is that you? What in the world are you guys doing?
Oh, man! We were just trying to help you guys out.
[Jimmy and Jerry hops over to QWERTY, who is turned off.]
Hi, QWERTY! Ya got a verse? QWERTY? QWERTY? Uh, QWERTY? Oh, great. Somebody turned off QWERTY! WHO TURNED OFF QWERTY?! [Bob sighs and shakes his head in frustration] Uh, let's see, control, shift, tab, delete. Uh, no, no. [Jerry briefly leaves] Shift, escape, six, option. Uh, no, uh, function, escape, tab, L...
[comes back with a cardboard sign] Hey, Jimmy.
Oh, would you look at that! "Don't be selfish!" Heh, that's a good one. Well, we're out of time for today, kids. Remember, God--
Bob
[he and Larry enters] Hold it, hold it! Stop, stop, stop! You can't end a show like that! Well, it's way too short, and the story was kinda, well... I don't know. QWERTY's off, and there's not even a verse! No, no! This is all wrong, we gotta do it again! [hops over closer to the screen and faces the audience] My apologies, boys and girls. We're gonna give this another go around. [to Jimmy and Jerry] Jimmy! Jerry! Take off those ridiculous costumes, we got a real story to tell! [Jimmy and Jerry leaves the countertop, disappointed] Larry, do you remember that letter we got from Lucy Thomas of Bismarck, North Dakota?
Uh, yeah. The one where she said she didn't like to play with her sister because she wanted to keep all her toys to herself?
Bob
That's the one. I'd say it's time we taught little Lucy a thing or two about being selfish. What do you say?
I say, aye-aye, skipper! [hops off]
Bob
[sighs in relief] It's good to be back. Action!
[first lines; Bob and Larry are on the countertops]
Bob
Hi, kids, and welcome to VeggieTales. I'm Bob the Tomato.
And I'm Larry the Cucumber.
Bob
And we're here to answer your questions.
Bob
Now this week we got a letter from Pete McGuinness in New Castle, Indiana.
Bob
Pete writes: "Dear Bob and Larry, I'm depressed. All my friends are in Mrs. Peterson's class, but I got stuck in Mr. Schubert's class. If God loves me, why do bad things happen? Your friend, Pete." Wow, that's a tricky one!
Bob
Well, Pete, I know a Bible story that I think could help you a lot.
Bob
Yeah?
I thought we were gonna do a Western this time.
Bob
A what?
A Western! You know, with cowboys and tumbleweeds and little dogies... you promised me we could right before I went to cowboy camp!
Bob
[chuckles nervously] I think what Pete needs here is a Bible story. Larry...
Bob
"Promise?" Did I really say... "promise?"
[annoyed] Yes, you did, Bob.
Bob
I really think we need to do a Bible story.
Bob
A Bible story!
[angrily] A WESTERN, BOB!
Bob
[gasps, then realizes the kids are still watching them] Can we have a second?
[A "technical difficulties" screen comes down as we hear Bob and Larry arguing about whether to do a Western or a Bible story. After several seconds, the screen comes back up.]
Bob
[clears throat] Well, after a bit of discussion, Larry and I have decided that what you really need, Pete, is a Western...Bible story.
Bob
So, without further ado...
"The Ballad of Little Joe!"
[after "Sumo of the Opera" ended]
Bob
Well, Larry, what do you think? Are you ready to persevere and keep on keepin' on to the toy drive?
[Telephone busy signal sound effect coming from Bob's phone]
WSWoman's voice on recording
If you'd like to make a call please hang up and try again. If you need help hang up and then dial your operator.
Bob
Larry? Larry?! Oh, no. He must've ran out of quarters. I sure hope he--
Bob
Larry, you're back!
Bob
Well... What about the kids? I don't know how much of the story you heard, but it was p--
I pretty much heard the whole thing. Ran out of quarters right near at the end. But I had a great time with the kids, Bob! I helped give away toys, and we had sandwiches, took pictures. You should have seen the look on their faces, it was so cool!
Bob
Huh, when I heard the busy signal, I thought you'd given up.
Nope! I got right back on the subway, got off at the 81 bus, took that to the 49, grabbed a burrito, got on the 92, hopped 3 more blocks and I was there!
Bob
Wow, sounds complicated.
Bob
Well, what do you say we talk about what we learned today?
[after QWERTY steamed up and broke down, startling Bob and Larry]
Bob
What happened?!
LLutfi (Khalil)
[pops up] Sorry.
Bob
Lutfi, what did you do?!
LLutfi
Lutfi fits into tiny places.
Bob
You killed Qwerty!
LLutfi
Oh, no, I did not kill him. I just made him sputter in smoke, but there is a difference.
Bob
Well, we're gonna have to get him repaired and we need a verse now! What are we gonna do?
LLutfi
Lutfi might be teensy weensy, but he is a great big helper who knows his scripture memory verses!
[first lines; Bob is on the countertops]
Bob
Hi, kids! I'm Bob the Tomato, and welcome to-- [horn honks, the Jeep passes by him on the right] Uh, I'm Bob the Tomato, and welcome to-- [The Jeep passes by him again on the left] Larry, what are you doing? Come over here!
[offscreen] I'll be right there!
[Larry screeches his Jeep into the countertops.]
Bob
Wow! What is this thing?
It's my new Suzy Action Jeep. I've been wanting it just forever, and now it's finally mine!
Bob
Wow! You must be pretty happy to get a cool toy like that.
Bob
Almost?
[hops out of his Jeep] Well, there's just one more thing I need to be really happy.
Bob
What's that?
Bob
The what?
The Suzy Action Camper. You just hook it up to the trailer hitch on my action Jeep and I'll be ready for a weekend of wilderness fun.
Bob
Oh, so once you get the camper, then you'll be happy?
I don't know. There's also the dirt bike.
Bob
The dirt bike?
Bob
Uh...
And the action hang glider.
Bob
Larry. How much stuff do you need to be happy?
I don't know. How much stuff is there?
Bob
Heh-heh. Maybe this would be a good topic for today's show.
[offscreen] Hold that thought, tomato!
Bob
Huh? [The French Peas enters the countertops] Hey! It's the French Peas. Hi, Jean-Claude. Hello, Phillipe.
PPhillipe
Hello, monsieur Bob. I think we can help.
Bob
Oh, really?
Oui! Tell me, Tomato, where do French Peas come from?
Bob
Uh... France?
That's right, and in France, we have a story that I think will answer your question. It's called "Madame Blueberry."
"Madame Blueberry?" I think I've seen that one. Doesn't it have Jerry Lewis in it?
No, be quiet and watch the film.
[seeing her house about to tip] My house!
It's so stuffed full of stuff, it's getting too heavy for the tree!
Bob
We've gotta stop those deliveries before it's too late! Come on, Larry! Grab a cart!
[Bob and Madame Blueberry drive two respective shopping carts, while Larry is left sitting in a shopping basket.]
[After "Madame Blueberry" ended; Bob and Larry are crying on the countertops]
Bob
Oh! That was beautiful!
Bob
I would if I could, man!
[offscreen] Pull yourselves together!
PPhillipe
[offscreen] Yes, you have a show to wrap up!
Bob
Oh, you're right... I'm sorry, where were we?
[sniffling] Madame Blueberry..!
All right! That does it! [he and Phillipe] Cue the music!
PPhillipe
Unless, of course, you have any objections...
Bob
No... I don't care... go ahead...
VeggieTales · 158 quotes
