Mr. Rakes quotes from Veep

Ben

It's a matter of public record that Dan Egan was fired because of his relation to the data breach. I mean, you could have Googled that.

Mr. Rakes

That's not my question. Was he responsible?

Ben

Well, Washington needed a sacrifice. So we all ran and got out our pitchforks, and we set fire to the Wicker Dan.

Mrs. Brewer

Okay, so why did he deserve to go if he was innocent?

Ben

You make it sound like there's a correlation between what should happen and what actually happens. I mean, life is chaotic. And it's often unfair. I know it is for me. Dan Egan deserved to go. So, he went.

Mr. Rakes

So Jonah Ryan wasn't sent here to defend the bill to deliberately undermine it?

Ben

No. No. Read my luscious lips: no.

Do you recall a document shared on the J-drive titled "the Jonad Files?"

Dan

Uh, no. No, ma'am.

Amy

No. That doesn't ring a bell.

So it's not a word combining "Jonah" and "gonad?"

Dan

Not to my knowledge.

Jonah

I can confirm that that is exactly what it is and Mr. Egan knows that.

Mr. Rakes

In fact, Mr. Egan, I was told that you encouraged staffers to add to this glossary of abuse.

Dan

I do not at this moment in time recall the action nor the document in question.

Mr. Rakes

Okay, maybe this will jog your memory. We have some extracts. "J-Rock, Jizzy Gillespie, Jack and the Giant Jackoff, Gaylien, Tinkerballs, Wadzilla, One Erection—"

Jonah

Do we have to go through all of these?

I'm not sure that I see the relevance.

Mr. Rakes

The witnesses claim they held their former colleague in high regard and I am attempting to prove otherwise.

Okay, yeah, sure. No, you can proceed.

Mr. Rakes

"The Pointless Giant, The 60-Foot Virgin, Gimpanzee, Jonah Ono, Hagrid's Nutsack, Scrotum Pole, Transgenderformers, 12 Years a Slave to Jerking Off, Benedict Come In His Own Hand, Guyscraper, The Cloud Botherer, SupercalifragilisticexpialiDickCheese, Teenage Mutant Ninja Asshole, Spewbacca."

Jonah

My college friends called me Tall McCartney. I preferred that, that's a good nickname.

Mr. Rakes

Can you tell us who was responsible for the data breach, Mr. Cafferty?

Ben

No.

Mr. Rakes

But you do know who was responsible?

Ben

No.

Mrs Brewer

Can you tell us anything at all about said data breach?

Ben

No.

Mr Rakes

Are you gonna continue to answer every question with a one-word answer, Mr. Cafferty?

Ben

No... I am not.