[About Munch] He's a complete yoghurt!
S3 E1Munch
I wasn't watching. I was listening, with my eyes.
I stole it, Munch Magic!
S3 E2Fish
I am your prince and I shall awaken you with my mighty sword.
You're scared of sheep?! That's stupid; they can't hurt you.
That's what they want you to think!
You didn't know I was afraid of sheep; I didn't know you were afraid of sex.
I don't want to be standing by the altar with you an iron lung coughing blood and phlegm at me!
[sniffing the card her secret admirer sent her] Who do I know who smells of paper?
S3 E3Kangaroo
She's a funny one is Janet, she'll do anything, things that even I find disgusting. She does things with a cucumber you wouldn't believe.
Oh yeah, like what?
This one time, I walked into the bedroom and she was lying on the bed with with cucumber slices on her eyes and mud on her face, she's pure dirt!
I can do anything, like a panda.
Pandas can't do anything! They can't juggle or go to Aldi.
This panda can. Grrr!
I will neither play or be playant of the games and or gaming tactics employed by both sexes in accordance with the laws set by herself, Mother Nature.
S3 E4Beastiality
They can't do you for it once you've robbed it. It's called Double Geoffrey.
You're gonna marry me whether you like it or not and it's gonna be friggin' marvellous, okay?!
You know, I think my proposal was better. Yours was just rude.
S3 E6Dresses Dresses Dresses
[to Donna, who is asleep] [In New York accent] Wake up and smell the caw-fee!
oh, Gaz, I was having the best dream ever then.
Was it about me, the Sugababes and loads of coal?
No, I dreamt I was asleep.
Yeah, and?
Yeah, that was it, I was asleep, and then this stupid monkey came in and said [in New York accent] "Wake up and smell the caw-fee!"
[to David, when he tells her to do some T'ai Chi with him] Ok, but don't expect me to join your cult.
DDavid
...it's not a cult.
That's what the Britannia Music Club said.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.