Berg quotes from Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place

Berg

I screwed up big time.

Pete

Finally! An accurate diagnosis.

Pete

You're scared because you might finally care about something.

Berg

Then why do I screw up?

Pete

Because you're Berg!

Berg

"Mr. Sulu" called last night. You got the job.

Pete

I got the job? How can that be?

Berg

It's right here: Loved your designs. Hate your friends.

Pete

How come you didn't tell me they called last night?

Berg

Well last night I was too busy arguing with the sofa!

Pete

Guys' night out.

Sharon

I'm a guy!

Berg

You lost your guy rights when you put on the scarf.

Berg

We sit on the upper deck and when the guy says, "This is where Paul Revere took his midnight ride," we both yell, "Yeah! On your Mom!"

Bill

Exercising the First Amendment.

Berg

When I do that bit with Sharon, people laugh. When I did it alone, they said, "Honey, move away from that man."

Pete

Oh Berg, no more medical experiments.

Berg

Just remember my eyedrop experiment paid for that couch.

Pete

Hey, Berg? What color would you say that couch is?

Berg

(squinting at the grey couch.) I don't know...blue!

Berg

Sharon hasn't been around all week, so I couldn't score stamps.

Pete

Oh. Oh well, listen...I'll give you the name of her connection. The post office!

Berg

Oh-ho-ho-kay! Trumpet swans, Big Brothers, soda? Come on!

Pete

Don't let him suck you in! Anyone with a yard this nice has to have something buried underneath.

Pete

Berg? Berg, do you notice something different about our Sharon?

Berg

No, nothing. Except that somebody gift-wrapped her neck.

Sharon

I gotta get to work.

Berg

Work? Or is Ted whisking you away to Scarf Warehouse?

Pete

Or House of Scarves.

Berg

Scarf Depot!

Pete

Jiffy Scarves!

Nothing can stop you! You're a winner!

Berg

8:40! Firm arch support and emotional support.

Berg

We're gonna have to be--

Pete

No, no-no-no, don't say it!

Berg

--mature.

Pete

Oh, there, you said it.

Berg

I got stamps. Legends of the Rodeo: a thirty-two cent salute to a bygone era.

Pete

What's wrong with you?

Sharon

Thanks a lot! I had a perfectly good boyfriend and you guys had to go turn him into a husband!

Berg

We were being mature!

Sharon

Well, I'm not ready to be mature! I'm not done being friends with you guys yet.

Pete

We're playing the Bulls!

Berg

The Celtics are playing the Bulls. You...didn't make the team.