Two and a Half Men · Season 4, Episode 12
You let some broad talk you into piercing your ear?
Actually, my ear wasn't her first choice to pierce.
What else can you pierce?
Nothing.
Fine. Don't tell me. I'll Google it. [leaves]
Don't worry. He can't spell "pierce".
He can't spell "Google".
[referring to Alan's new piercing] You do know that's the gay ear?
What?
Left ear says "I'm a hipster from the disco era." Right ear says "Let's disco!!"
I wouldn't need a job if I joined the Army.
You can't join the Army.
Why not?
Because you already are all you can be.
There you go. One hot chocolate for the lactating mommy.
Thank you.
I see little Brittany Pam is having the grande boobaccino.
Yeah, and she's biting the straw.
Excuse me, I'd like to say a few words before we fold up the dining room table and commence the square dancing. Alan, you are my son and I love you...but you and I are through.
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