You killed a vampire, Bill. For a human. What do I do about this?
What did you have in mind?
No!... You can have anyone you want. Why do you want her?
Why do you want her? You're not in love with her, are you?
[incensed] Sookie must be protected.
That sounds like an edict. But it couldn't be, because I would know about that. Admit it... you love her.
If I had not done what I did, would you have let his disloyalty stand? [about LongShadow]
Whatever I would have done to LongShadow I would not have done in front of witnesses. Especially not vampire witnesses. Not smart, Bill. Not smart at all.
[handing Sookie a leather outfit] Put these on.
Oh, thank you. But I'm fine really. I'm just gonna dry out my hair and be on my way.
You're not going anywhere. Eric and your boyfriend aren't nearly done talking just yet.
Is... Bill is some kind of trouble?
That's for the boys to figure out. Right now what you need to do is change out of your clothes... there's vampire in your cleavage.
[looks down and gasps] Okay. Eeww!
Allow me. [takes the bloody piece out]
I'm beginin' to understand the fuss everyone's makin' over you.
[about Eddie] All I'm sayin' is Lafayette didn't have to kidnap him and I'm pretty sure he left with some V.
Hey! If you wanna make the same arrangement with Eddie as Lafayette, than have at it. This was the only thing I could think of to get you out of blowin' your first vampire.
You've done this before, haven't you?
This! Kidnappin' vampires!
Jason, baby. You're sweet but you've gotta mellow out.
[in bed with Sookie after finding the cat dead] Aren't you tired?
Every time I close my eyes, I see her face.
Gran. But now that you mention it, Tina's in there too.
You do know I'm not going to let anything happen to you. That I am here for you, to protect you.
What if I don't need to be protected? What if wanting to be protected makes me feel like the helpless little girl I used to be all over again?
Sookie... all of the things that you need to be protected from, all of the trouble you're in, you are in because of me. So you needing to be protected has nothing to do with you or who you are. All of it is my fault... So why don't you go to sleep and let me be the one to worry about it.
Bill, all the trouble I'm in, it's mine. I chose it. I chose it when I chose you.
Don't you think I wanna blame somebody else? But what happen to my gran and poor Tina is my fault and it's sweet of you to try to take it all from me. But if I let you, I'd be so mad at you, I would never be able to look at you again. And right now your face is the only thing getting me by. So why don't we just leave it on me, okay?
[pause, accepting] Very well.
Hey you. Listen, are you alright?
Sometimes I wish I smoked, so you could sneak outside without anybody knowing something's wrong with you.
Okay. I'm really sorry about your cat.
Maybe I shouldn't have come in today.
Yeah, I was gonna say why did you?
I don't know. Maybe cause lately it seems like if I called in sick every time someone I love got murdered, I'd never make it in for a single day of work.
Don't you think Sam would understand?
I guess. But if I went home, what would you do?
Me? What's it got to do with me?
Arlene doing nothin' but showin' off her ring to anybody who will look at it, you be the only one waiting tables.
Yeah, she's gonna be a handful, that one.
Don't you imagine what she was like the first time she got married?... What about you? You ever been married?
Is this the part where the sister asks what the girls intentions are with her brother?
Hm-mm. Cause right now I am all about protecting Jason.
He misses you, Sookie. He does. Between your grandma passing and what happened afterwords with you.
He couldn't not. He's a mess about it.
Well you wouldn't know it.
Look, I know what you must think of him and I get why you're mad at him. I do and he loves you. You got people around who love you and all I can hope is that maybe one day I can be counted in among those people.
You are way too good for him. You know that, right?
Of course, I know that. I'm not stupid.
[to Arlene, about her party] What do you want it took look like?
[happily] Hug your neck! You know exactly what I'm talkin' about. [walks off]
How did you know what she wanted?
My cousin Portia was a deb, from Shreveport when she turned 18. Every Bellefleur woman has been doin' it since they started to have 'em before the Revolutionary war.
Must be nice to come from such an old family.
All families are old, Sam. Some just keep better records.
Longshadow was choking the girl and would have killed her.
So you murdered a higher life form for the sake of your pet? You broke an ancient and fundamental law. You decreased our numbers at a critical time in our history. Very bad. Very very bad.
Longshadow broke the law first. She was mine and he knew it. He would have killed her and fed from her!
Hello! Human! Irrelevant. Happens every day!
He was stealing from Eric.
Yes, Magister. It's true. Longshadow was a thief and a liar. He was hurting my business.
The business part. That is a serious offense.
And it was the human who exposed Longshadow. Would you tell him, Eric?
The only reason the girl was there was because I called her.
To protect my wealth, yes. Magister, she is... valuable.
Humans exist to serve us. That is their only value.
There are those among us who think differently.
Do you question my authority? I am the magister. I was trained in the Inquisition and I am the adjudicator for every vampire territory in North America! As the humans say - the humans that you love more than your own kind - back your shit down!
You haven't bored me. That works in your favor and you seem to be obedient to your sheriff.
For the most part... When it matters, yes he is.
The usual sentence is five years in a coffin, chained with silver. During which time your body will waste to leather and sticks, and you'll probably go insane. However, I'm feeling a bit... creative.
[while he is digging a grave for Jessica, to Pam] Would you leave her alone!
It's your own fault. You and your insane affection for stupid cows.
I wouldn't be here if the magister could trust you.
I fulfilled the conditions of my sentence! I murdered this innocent girl.
It was no murder. You drained her blood and gave her yours.
Yes. But you're romantic, you're sentimental. You might do something to keep the little blood bag from joinin' our ranks. I follow my orders. I won't let you stake her before she goes to ground!
I'm not gonna stake her. I'm gonna set her free.
You've already set her free. The same as Eric freed me.
Everyone she's ever known will recoil from her. Everything she has ever loved has been stolen from her.
Oh please! There's no comparison. You've given that pathetic lump of temporary flesh...
The ultimate gift. You're a maker. You're a hero.
I find myself doubting whether you were ever truly human.
[at Fangtasia, about Jessica]
She's your punishment, not mine. What am I supposed to do with her?
Excuse me! I can hear you, mister rude! I wanna go to the bar. I wanna be one of those dancers. I'm hungry.
She won't listen to me! It will take more time than I have to teach her obedience.
I don't obey anybody! Those days are over.
Can't handle one little girl, Bill? New ones can be like this. Man up my friend. She's not even one night old.
[to Jessica] You want to stay with you maker, don't you?
No, he's a dick! Dick! Dick! Dick!... You're cute. Can I sit in your lap?
Why? Nobody let's me have any fun. Fuckers!
[to Jessica] Sit down and shut up! Close the door. [turning to Bill] See, you have to be tough with them or they'll walk all over you.
I am well aware of that, but you can see how she is and there are urgent matters to which I must attend!
Sookie Stackhouse? Haven't you done enough for her?
If any harm were to come to her because of my absence, you would be...
[looks at Bill threateningly] What?
Without her helpful skills.
Let me out! I wanna do something bad!
I would be in your debt. I would return the favor.
Oh, yes you will. You most definitely will. Jessica!
You don't have to yell at me!
How would you like to learn how a real vampire feeds?
[to Bill] See? It's really quite easy.
[Bill is trying to explain to Jessica what's happened to her]
You drank from me. Your blood was replaced with mine. And then I shared my essence with you when we slept together in the ground. [Jessica makes a face at him]
[scoffs] You just said "intercourse".
It's tradition. It's part of the process. It's--it's magical. Even we don't fully understand how it works.
Yeah? Well all I know is, staying out all night like this? My daddy's gonna whup you good. Mister, you better get me home right now. [tries to walk away; Bill grabs her and makes her sit down]
Because there are things you must learn.
Because you are no longer human.
Because as I've been trying to explain to you at length, you have been made vampire!
Because you were unlucky. Because life and death are unfair. Because of me. You cannot go home. That part of your life is over.
[crestfallen] No more momma and daddy? [beat] No more little sister?
[puts a hand on Jessica's cheek] I'm sorry. No.
No more belts. [smiles] No more clarinets! No more...homeschool! No more rules! [Jessica screams and does a happy dance] I'M A VAMPIRE! [exhales] WOW! [walks off]
No! No! No! There are rules! That's what I've been trying to teach you!
Crap on your rules! Crap, crap, crap! Oh I can say anything I want now! Shit, shit, shit, damn, hell, fuck! "Fuck", that's a bad word! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Oh, what's another cuss word so I can say it? I'm a damn vampire! [twirls around]
If you calm down, I will teach you what being a vampire means.
I'm not stupid! I can read! I know what it means!
Very well then. Why don't you tell me.
It means that I don't have to sit like a lady. And I can kill anybody I want. And there's an awful lot of people I'd like to kill.
No, Jessica, you absolutely cannot kill anybody you want.
[pouting] But why?! Why?! I want to kill them.
With your new powers come new responsibilities. [Jessica moans] You are gonna mainstream like I did. You can almost exactly the same life as you did before, except you'll be awake at night.
I want to kill people. And I'm so hungry and all you do is talk and I'm starving and you are so mean! You're supposed to take care of me, that's what you said! And no, you suck! [laughs] That's funny, 'cause you do suck. [Bill grabs a bottle from his four-pack of Tru Blood]
Here, drink this, it might make you feel more steady, I hope. [Jessica takes a swig of Tru Blood and immediately spits it out]
Ugh, it tastes like shit! Why are you doing this to me? Ew!
It's not bad. You'll get used to it. Try a little more!
Fuck, no! And you can't force me, I'll report you.
Oh, to a real vampire who'll kick your ass! You won't let me do anything and I'm so hungry! YOU ARE THE WORST. MAKER. EVER! [weeps]
[about Maryann] So, collecting stray black people. That some kind of hobby of hers?
[laughing] She's right about you. You are funny.
Oh, yeah? What else she tell you about me?
She said you crashed your car with a gallon of whiskey in your lap.
It was vodka. Really cheap vodka.
Hey, I'm not judging you... Believe me. When Maryann found me, I was... let's just say I was a hell of a lot worse off than you. She's a miracle worker. You'll see.
Yeah, well. I won't be stickin' around that long.
My momma, when she thought somethin' was too good to be true, she'd say, Satan in a Sunday hat. That's exactly what this is.
You know it took me a long time to stop looking over my shoulder too. But there's good people in this world. Sometimes, good shit happens.
