Top Gear · Season 8
(about a Ford Mustang going head-to-head against a Lotus Exige S) "It's got a 4.6 litre 300bhp V8 at the front, rear-wheel drive at the back, and a Stig in the middle."
(about the Exige S, a few seconds later) "And he's lined up alongside a plastic car that was made by some Norfolk turnip farmers, which is being driven by a fat bloke with a dicky hip."
(the start of the Exige S Power Lap) "Slingshot acceleration, thanks to those semi-slick tires and the fact that this doesn't weigh anything..."
[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: I investigate some new in-car dogging technology. Richard races a man dressed as a squirrel. And with a wing and a prayer, the Koenigsegg is back on our track.
[on the Stig]
Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and he's been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[hearing a bang as he drives a Porsche Cayenne Turbo S]
Ow! Oh, that sounded expensive.
[to the guest French fashion designer, who complained about his eating habits]
What's the matter with chips with vinegar on them?
I'm gonna have to explain all this to my nine-year-old boy. [makes a face] Who's ten, I've just remembered!
[to the Mercedes S-Class onboard computer] Station: Radio 2. [It retunes to Radio 2] And it goes to Radio 2. Or, Station: absolute rubbish. [It retunes to Radio 1] Look! Radio 1! It knows! How brilliant's that?
[on the approach the BMW M Division took when developing the Z4M]
So on this car, they've thrown out the fancy electronic power steering for a more old-fashioned system that they prefer. They've also got rid of those ridiculous run-flat tyres, and they've not messed about with any fancy gearboxes either. They've fitted it with a proper old-fashioned manual.
[voiceover] That is a set of confident decisions. So naturally, you'd be forgiven for approaching any corner with a similar amount of confidence.
[The Z4M nearly runs off the edge of the track in a corner]
[countersteering furiously] Whoa! Whoa! Understeer - ! [recovering control] ... Bloody hell! I was not expecting that.
[holding a red Dorset Naga chili pepper] This... is the BMW Z4. [tastes pepper gingerly with the tip of his tongue] GAH!
[on the Z4M, still in pain after tasting a red naga chili] It absolutely steals your heart, which is why it's the one I'd drive home. If I could see...
[Driving the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S] So, we've devised another Richard Hammond real world test...
[scene continues to car vs skydiver stunt]
[regarding photos of the (rather extensive) damage to a Porsche Cayenne and the production vehicle Richard crashed it into]
Oh, come on now, most of that'll polish out! It was just a slight... shunt.
You set the airbags off in the Porsche, look!
Actually, that was a bit of a surprise, and a bit of a worthwhile test, because I always thought, you know, an airbag going off would be like resting your head in a big fluffy pillow.
Mmm?
It's not! It's like being hit in the face with a wrecking ball! You have a crash, "Oh no!" and then boomf!, urgh, it hurts! I didn't like it.
[testing Jeremy's redecorated Mercedes, with its concrete floor]
Sixty miles an hour!
[tripping stopwatch] Thirty-five point four seconds!
[Richard's seat has fallen over while negotiating the Hammerhead]
Regain control of the cottage!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
