[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: I get a hot head..."Oh-oh-oh, I'm on fire..."; Richard gets another Top Gear dog "Help!"; And James has some trouble with wind.
“May 21st, 2006” · Season 8, Episode 3
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (21), Richard Hammond (14), James May (10)
[on the Stig]
Some say that his genitals are on upside down, and that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci Code in 43 seconds... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[Trying to discover what sort of car Richard has bought during the Amphibious Car Challenge]
Hamster! How it's going?
Very well, thank you, very well indeed!
What are you doing? What've you got?
Err, it's, it's pretty... I don't wanna tell you, really, but it's pretty... sleek, um, as a road-going vehicle; as a boat I think it's gonna be a winner.
I bet it's a Lotus Esprit, isn't it?
Well, it's a monocoque [screws up face]. Um, so it, it has sort of sporting... pretensions.
And what're you going in terms of propulsion?
Uh, well, now, the, the, the, the... lot of power. I'm gonna... I'm gonna fully utilise the onboard power.
[voiceover] Hammond was keeping his cards close to his chest.
Hello?
May.
Clarkson.
Have you heard the Hamster?
Well, yeah, I did, but I can't get much out of him. He's now saying his car is rear-engined, but not a 911. I think he's bought an Hillman Imp and he's making a submarine.
[practicing his negligble sailing skills in a small boat]
There's a boat there called the "Hey Presto"! Hang on, there's a boat right here called "Puffin" - Hello Puffin! [crashes heavily into "Puffin"]
[after being drenched in the motor wash from Jeremy's borrowed powerboat]
You utter pirate!
[Jeremy has just shown Richard the buoyancy aids he has added to his Toybota.'
So you think...that left to its own devices...a Volkswagen campervan...will float?
Well it's like...it's like a narrow boat in shape. A narrow boat is just a big box isn't it?
[Extending his hand to Richard] Goodbye.
[Struggling onto the Motorway in his Triumph Herald] And we're in Top Gear... 35mph..!
Meanwhile, my lack of power was becoming an issue.
[The campervan makes rusty noises]
[My road boat].
Help! I'm trying to get up the hill. Haha!
[voiceover] Meanwhile, back at the convoy...
[Richard's campervan suddenly stalls at a road junction]
No!! Not now...
[Richard tries to start the campervan, just as Jeremy starts to pull away in his Hilux]
Wait! I've died, I've died!
Goodbye!
[voiceover] ...and so in the spirit of Top Gear comradeship... we left James behind.
It's the coldest March for twenty years, because of global warming.
[Richard's van is sinking and James' car is stuck in weeds]
Did you want tea or coffee?
Tea, please mate.
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