How hard can it be to build a kit car?
Well, as it turns out: very! Because all you did all the way was shout at Jeremy.
And all I wanted to do was stick a screwdriver in the side of his head!
S8 E7July 23rd, 2006
After we'd finished, the people at Caterham put a plaque on our car, can you see that? [We see a plaque reading "Built by Top Gear"] Which has rendered this car absolutely worthless.
Jiggle it.
I'm jiggling like a bugger.
[While racing the Peugeot 207 against the parkour boys]
I'm not going to be beaten by some pre-pubescent teenagers in camouflaged trousers.
[During the news]
I had a family outing this week, in my Ford GT! Took my son to the Fairford Air Show in Gloucestershire.
And?
It's still there. [laughter] Rev limiter decided that it didn't want to let the engine rev beyond six hundred rpm. Which isn't much.
[to the camera while James looks through the tool cabinet] All he's done, all morning.. he files. He takes stuff out and then puts it back and files it where it's supposed to be. James!
What?
Stop filing!
[losing patience] I'm looking for the sodding socket thing that you need to take that out. Do you know where it is? Do you know where it is?
No! No!
Do you know what it looks like?
Yes!
No, you don't!
S8 E8July 30th, 2006
[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: Noble's difficult third album comes to our track; the art of being a white van man; and the Suzuki Liana is back with some bloke called Jenson Button!
And, then, inside, it's the usual blend of dead animal and rainforest, but with a twist!
[Richard and James are talking about the Rolls-Royce 101EX's ceiling, which has lots of little lights on that look like stars]
[from across the studio] That is DISGUSTING!
Oh, dear! I fear Jeremy may be heading this way with an opinion!
[on the 101EX's "bling" features, like the aforementioned pinlight headliner, the glass Spirit of Ecstasy, and the carbon fiber body details]
This, if they ever put it into production, and if it has all this stuff on it, will have to be called the Rolls-Royce Vulgarsonic.
[To Richard] I've just had a really good idea! Why don't you shut up? And why don't you tell the all the ladies and gentlemen, with your Tippex teeth, about the car that you've been driving that I haven't.
Now, the previous Noble, the M12, was a real "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" punch in the back.
If I was in a TVR, now, the indicators would be on the ceiling and the switches would be made of kryptonite and the doors would open inwards on a dodecahedral hinge. But no! If I pull up in a Noble, the door is just a door, that opens sort of... doorishly!
[on the Stig]
Some say that his first name really is "The," and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant, including the camera men. All we know is, he's called the Stig.
JBJenson Button
I like to enjoy myself as we all do.
[interrupting] So you get a lot of sex.
JJenson
Probably more than you, Jeremy, yes.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.