[on the Stig]
Some say he naturally faces magnetic north, and that all of his legs are hydraulic... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
S6 E6July 3rd, 2005
I think I might have Norwegian wood!
[after spending a day with Richard on a Ferry]
I really enjoyed our day out together, Richard. It's not very often I get to take someone out for a nice dinner. [camera switches to Richard, who is now looking somewhat concerned]
[On whether Jeremy will get sleep on the Oslo race]
Well I would, and you would, but I don't think Jeremy will because he'll become obsessed by [impersonates Clarkson] power and winning!
[on losing the Oslo race to Jeremy]
What's the Norwegian for "Oh, Cock?"
[on the CDs he was given for the race to Oslo]
[laughing] 101 classic speeches from... Mrs. Thatcher! [impersonating Thatcher] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this lady's not for turning.
[in a Eurotunnel train during the race to Oslo]
I wonder what the fastest anyone has ever been... in a Eurotunnel train...? How tempting is it to... [depressing accelerator momentarily] No, no, no no. No, grow up!
[after having the Eurotunnel train safety instructions start in French] Oh, we gotta have it in French! [pause] Start the train!
Heathrow...To Oslo. I'm mad for doing this.
If you ask to be piped aboard I'm throwing you over.
I can't believe we're doing this again.
Well I think we really should beat him this time. In fact, I'm going to run.
Part of me wants that car to win, but all of me wants Jeremy to lose.
Can I just say, when we were 50 miles from Oslo we were neck in neck. Okay? Absolutely neck in neck. I made it to Oslo, flew home and was half way through supper before these guys arrivved at the finishing point. That's how badly it went wrong for them!
Well, I have to say it wasn't the end, we don't even know what that place was called.
A town. No idea.
No idea.
Just a place.
Freezing cold.
Yes.
Nobody spoke English to us.
No.
And we had no money.
No! And then there was a cash point and, that was unbelievable, it said 5000 kroner. Well how much is that? Do I buy a pencil sharpener or a car with that? And all I know is that's more than he [May] had because when he asked for that it said insufficient funds available. Which didn't go down well.
[On the Alfa Romeo Brera] You can have a diesel, if you're the sort of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.
[On voting for the greatest driving song] Research has shown, that voting for Meatloaf means you are 50% more likely to have no mates.
That is true, actually.
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