James May quotes from Top Gear

James

This is Germany, there are procedures to go through... I like procedures.

James

It's no wonder Michael Schumacher retired, he's slower than me!

James

This is a road car, and I'm up to 404... 405, come on!

James

[after hearing it's now illegal to retune a radio while driving] I can't listen to an episode of the Archers in the car without losing my temper, and having a crash... deliberately... to end it.

James

Oh look, I found Jeremy's notes: Trousers, fat, Hitler, Teige, Mazda, Alfa, modernism, minimalism.

James

[in the museum gift shop, as a general question] Do you have like a single volume on the artistic influence of Alfa Romeo coupes?

James

He exploited the diminutive size of my Panda to sit there going [motions leg fondling] "ooh I'm terribly sorry".

James

It's an ingenious solution to a problem that should never have existed in the first place.

James

The rules said hits on the car, not hits on the wedding vegetables.

James

Can I just ask why you shot me in the penis?

James

Well yeah, I suppose it is if you're a fat, middle-age bloke who wants to bore everybody about the track days you've been on. As you'd expect, I've done it properly and got myself a proper, gentleman's racer; the Aston Martin V8 Vantage N24.

James

MAYDAY!

James

[Pointing at his door mirror] That doesn't work.

James

Thanks, awfully.

James

I've got more on the front - Why's that?

James

That's what it is.

James

Whatever you do, don't do downstairs and look at the car. It's got no front end. No lights, no radiator, no bumper, no splitter, no front of the engine, no bonnet. That fuel pump thing is right in the bowels of the thing. They've got the whole front off. It's like trying to repair something in France from this end of the Channel Tunnel.