James May quotes from Top Gear

James

[to Richard and Jeremy at the end of the challenge] Chaps...one observation I might have. Sailing: REALLY boring!

James

[Talking about digital displays on the sides of roads] Those displays aren't always true, like the microwave in my mate's kitchen. It says "Enjoy your meal" when you get something out. But I won't if it's my pants...

James

Those aren't doggles, they're goggles with the G crossed out and replaced with a D.

James

Regain control of the cottage!

James

This is probably what will happen to me in hell: A TVR, a racetrack and a pedantic Scotsman.

James

In the old days of TVR you would have thought "that's a ticket to a festival of plastic death", but actually I thought it was good. I thought it handled really well.

James

Odious little man. [After losing ANOTHER game of car football to Hammond]

James

[on film clip] It's not wide enough!

James

Now, look at this, there's a study out here, it says people with those speed camera detectors are 600% less likely to get a speeding ticket than the rest of us. In other news, it's been revealed that people with metal detectors are 600% less likely to step on land mines.

James

[On driving a bus] Yeah, it's easier [than sitting here] actually. 'Cause you're not being filmed. So you can have a joint. No! Sorry.

James

It is amazing upholstery, I went in there and I immediately wanted a curry.

James

I'm gonna go off and I'm gonna find one of those ruddy-faced farmers and his organic, rosy-cheeked wife, and get some free-range eggs and... grass-fed bacon, and all that local produce.

James

Yes, it's the Mercedes B-class! Keen students of the alphabet will probably have worked out already that this is one up from the A-class.

James

[voiceover] Meanwhile, down in Oxford, the Stig was revealing something new about himself... he has a bladder!

James

I'm not going to be beaten by some pre-pubescent teenagers in camouflaged trousers.