[During the opening sequence]
Tonight, a fat man gets murdered, a donkey gets overtaken and James wears lady's underwear on his head.
“February 6th, 2011” · Season 16, Episode 3
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (5), James May (3), Richard Hammond (2)
[In Albania]
This is the perfect car for the job.
...you can't say that.
What?
You can't say that word, the 'C' word.
Well, I didn't, did I?
[laughs] no, not that 'C' word, the other 'C' word.
..."Car"?
Yes. You can't say that. Car here means... "Gentleman sausage".
[...]
But we do a car show!
Yes, but you can't say car. Or peach.
Peach?
Don't say peach.
What does that mean?
[gestures] "Lady garden".
And I have never experienced a car this big, and so powerful.
[having replaced a Bentley with a Yugo "for complicated reasons"]
It is the most expensive penis of the three, two hundred twenty thousand pounds, and from where I'm sitting, it's hard to see why.
[...]
[bouncing up and down] This has to be the least refined car I've ever driven. This is simply intolerable. Two hundred twenty thousand pounds for this!
[to Albanian mechanic]
[gesturing] So, running, then stop.
That describes most breakdowns really.
[Trying to fit a very large "dead body" in the back of a car]
This was hopeless. So rather embarrassingly, we had to ask the man we'd murdered to give us a hand.
[Man stands up, climbs in]
[During their "bank heist" test, Jeremy and Ricard steal the Mercedes-Benz S65 AMG and the Rolls Royce Ghost, leaving him with the Yugo as his only means of transport, he is not pleased with this]
What a pair of utter cars!
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