Jeremy Clarkson quotes from Top Gear

Jeremy

Ten minutes later, we roared into the first corner [Jeremy, James and Richard creep slowly into view]

Jeremy

[almost crashing into James May's Marina at the Val Thorens race] DON'T HIT HIM!! Morris extremists will come if I hit him!

Jeremy

Tonight! I wear some goggles. Richard falls down a small slope. And James says "Hello" to a man!

Jeremy

Some say, that on Thursdays he becomes incredibly bulbous. And that recently pigs in Mexico started to die of something called "Stig flu". All we know is, he's highly contagious!

Jeremy

Getting into the old Z4 after a long day, was like coming home after a long day's work and flopping down onto a sofa made entirely out of Chuck Norris.

Jeremy

[voiceover] Mind you, it wasn't exactly plain sailing for me either.

Jeremy

[on a motorway at rush hour] Come on please, traffic, please, please, how can they have a rush hour in Majorca? Nobody does anything. Get up, throw a donkey off a tower block, sit in a plastic chair by the side of the road, go to bed. Where does a rush hour come from in that?

Jeremy

Tonight, Richard has a crisis. Some sheep on our track. And James and I go to the lavatory.

Jeremy

Yes, and welcome to the final show in the series.. [Crowd shows disappointment and sighs] Sad.

Jeremy

Some say, that he cut that man's hair [pointing at the man in audience].

Jeremy

Now, eh as I'm sure you know, we don't often do consumer advice on this show, but tonight, we are. Because you see, if you were in a market, for large, fast, spacious, executive saloon cars, you'd imagine, that you'll be spoiled for choice. Me too. However, Richard Hammond, who is quite mad, has decided that every single one of them has a fatal flaw.

Jeremy

Well, it's an Aston Martin Vantage with a V12 engine. What do you think it's going to be like? It is fantastic. It is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. What it makes me feel, though, is sad. I just can't help thinking that thanks to all sorts of things...the environment, the economy, problems in the Middle East, the relentless war on speed... cars like this will soon be consigned to the history books. [drives past pictures of similar cars that have fallen out of use] I just have this horrible, dreadful feeling that what I'm driving here is an ending. [looks at the camera] Good night.

Jeremy

Tonight, James gets lost in a Lamborghini . Richard drives over a bridge in a Ferrari. And I wear a small hat in an Aston Martin.

Jeremy

We imagine that here [in Romania] it's full of oxes and people throwing stones at gypsies.

Jeremy

Coming here in a car that costs £168,000 is a bit like turning up in the Sudan in a suit made entirely out of food.

Jeremy

Aston Martin has gone to simply enormous lengths to make the DBS convertible as light as possible. It has a carbon-fibre bonnet, carbon-fibre wings, carbon-fibre boot, carbon-fibre door-pulls, even. They've even made the carpet out of a specially lightweight weave. And the results speak for themselves. This is by far and away... the HEAVIEST car of the three.

Jeremy

Tonight, James drives a milk float. Richard says "look out" backwards. And I cut my finger on some aluminium.