“July 26th, 2009” quotes from Top Gear

Jeremy

Tonight! I wear some goggles. Richard falls down a small slope. And James says "Hello" to a man!

Jeremy

Some say, that on Thursdays he becomes incredibly bulbous. And that recently pigs in Mexico started to die of something called "Stig flu". All we know is, he's highly contagious!

Jeremy

Getting into the old Z4 after a long day, was like coming home after a long day's work and flopping down onto a sofa made entirely out of Chuck Norris.

Richard

Last week a piano was accidentally dropped on a Morris Marina as we were filming it.

Jeremy

Last time this happened the Morris Marina Owners' Club, which is like the provisional wing of the "Morris Men", is absolutely furious.

James

Actually, there's been a lot of activity on a Morris chatroom: "I'm going to send an e-mail to the BBC and I don't care if they don't read it."

Jeremy

Now, that's what they said last time, okay. This time - getting worse. They say they're gonna get physical. I'm quoting now, one of them says (and I'm not making this up): "If I see Jeremy Clarkson in the street, I will poo into my hand and throw it at him."

Richard

[incredulous] What, they'll poo into their own hand?! That's a stupid way of getting someone! That's like an assassin lining up on the target and then shooting them through his own head! Bang!

My heart is sore

Jeremy

[voiceover] Mind you, it wasn't exactly plain sailing for me either.

Jeremy

[on a motorway at rush hour] Come on please, traffic, please, please, how can they have a rush hour in Majorca? Nobody does anything. Get up, throw a donkey off a tower block, sit in a plastic chair by the side of the road, go to bed. Where does a rush hour come from in that?