Jeremy Clarkson quotes from Top Gear

Jeremy

Do you know what we've done? We've made something worse than a G-Wiz.

Jeremy

You have? Or do you just want to be on television?

Jeremy

Some say that he has some terrible plans involving the moon. And that he was turned down for a place on I'm a Celebrity because he is one.

Jeremy

Tonight: James wears a stripey jumper. Richard drives a stripey Lamborghini, and we name the greatest car maker in the world.

Jeremy

And of course you had to drive it a lot more than you thought, because of the freak weather conditions that blighted James... the light breezes...

Jeremy

The interior would be familiar to Lancia fans. The pedals are nowhere near where the bottom of my legs are. The steering wheel is perilously close to where my testes used to be, before the seatbelt jammed my frank up to my lungs. The gear lever is like Bugs Bunny's ears, and one of the buttons on the dash operates the fire extinguisher... but I don't know which one it is, so I dare not touch any of them.

Jeremy

Some say his new Christmas range of fragrances includes the great smell of Wednesday. And that he was turned down for the job of EU President, because his face is just too recognisable. All we know is he's called The Stig!

Jeremy

Tonight! We drive down a sewer. We power-slide across a field. And we do some other things as well.

Jeremy

What if you're mad? What if you can't walk past a window without being overcome by an uncontrollable urge to lick it?

Jeremy

The results are as dramatic as putting a furious weasel in your underpants.

Jeremy

This car would be less annoying to eco-mentalists if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

Jeremy

Some say that the drinks cabinet in his car contains fourteen different types of custard. And that while he has been known to leave his house in a bit of a hurry, he's never once hit a fire hydrant. All we know he's called the Stig!

Jeremy

Tonight! I get scared half to death on our track. We host our own arts exhibition, and the world champion is in our Reasonably Priced Car.

Jeremy

Some say that you shouldn't go round to his house for your Christmas lunch unless you enjoy the great taste of seagull. And that the reason he always wears a helmet is because a man once smashed him in the face with a model of Salisbury Cathedral. All we know is, he's called the Stig.

Jeremy

Why does everything always get broken in our Christmas thing?