A character in Titus
Played by Cynthia Watros
Titus · 132 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Titus: in 15 of its 132 quotes
Most scenes with: Titus (13), Ken Titus (2)
ErinIs the father around?
Jill (sarcastically): Yeah. Yeah, he's married to my mom. Next question
Erin (not getting it): But someone who's married to your mom would be -- (it finally sinks in): Oh, my God!
Jill (on the verge of tears): Yeah, the world is an ugly place!
ErinSo I'm sitting in a meeting when my pager goes off with a message. It says "Dad's dead." So I race out of the meeting and drive all the way to Santa Maria because, naturally, I think "My dad's dead"!
Honey, your dad is not dead.
Erin[with dry sarcasm] Yeah, I know that now. [back to normal] Because if he were, what I walked in on my mother doing to him would be so... sick.
ErinYou slept with her?
She said, "You want some pie?" I didn't know it was a metaphor!
[Thinking they are going to die, Titus, Erin, Dave, and Tommy are voicing their regrets in life.]
ErinI never got to see Ireland.
Honey, you never got to see San Diego.
Erin[with dry sarcasm] That helps.
Dad has found a new way to screw with me. He told me he was "proud" of me.
ErinWell it's about time he said that. You're great at what you do!
He got to her!
Dave, she likes me.
[slyly] Oh, right.
ErinChristopher, do you think we're doing the right thing? This place is like a prison.
Well, Mom is like a criminal.
ErinChristopher, you know how some girls have dreams about being beauty queens, or astronauts, or doctors?
No.
ErinMy dream was always to be the only girl in my family... to never get arrested.
I do a lot of crazy things when I'm drunk.
ErinI'm in a sack.
Titus And when I'm sober!
This will be my third strike.
ErinHe'll go to prison for the rest of his life!
Get to the bad part!
ErinYou taught [Christopher] how to swim by chucking him in a lake. You taught him not to stick his finger in a light socket by letting him stick is finger in a light socket! You let a car fall on him; I still don't know what that taught him.
Cars are heavy.
ErinEverybody knows that!
So does he, thanks to me!
I don't want you here!
ErinAmy, we've invited all your friends. It's gonna be a party!
It's gonna be a "Look, Amy lives in garbage!" party.
Exactly. It's got a theme.
Amy (sarcastically): My popularity will soar. (to Erin): Maybe I'll even make head cheerleader like you, Aunt Erin, and peak at 17.
Titus (defensively): Hey, have a little respect for someone who went out of their way to get you a lice comb.
[Titus is facing off against Shannon's husband Stefan.]
Dad, what are we, German-Irish?
White. That's all that matters.
Erin[offended] Papa Titus!
In society's eyes, I'm saying!
ErinYou want him to have your kind of fun. You need to go have his kind of fun.
[confused] You want me to rip myself a new one?
ErinIsn't there something you always wanted from your dad?
A "do not resuscitate" order?
[The FBI believes that the Titus family to be a terrorist group.]
ErinWe can't plan a hijacking! Listen, we can't even plan a wedding.
[straight cut to Titus]
Oh, we planned the wedding. We didn't plan on my mom killing her husband at the wedding. That was Mom's idea. She didn't know what to get us.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Titus pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
