(opening narration) Normal people who grow up with compassion never amount to anything. They're the ones who end up gluing those little dots on the highway, or putting glue on the dots for the guy who glues dots on the highway. But screwed-up people who weren't coddled or raised with compassion? Ho-ho! We get stuff done. Sure, we feel a little alone and abandoned, but we're (choked up) very happy. Why can't you love me, Daddy?!
“Amy's Birthday” · Season 3, Episode 2
In this episode: Titus (3), Erin Fitzpatrick (1)
Compassion is a disease, like polio, except compassion makes you nice, not withered and crutchy. I got vaccinated against compassion when I was eight, along with self-esteem and pride. Oh, and I got a booster shot for the ability to not stare at a dwarf.
Titus (after Amy's mom, Kim, passes out face-first into the cake): Well, Amy, make a wish and blow out your mom's hair.
AAmy
I don't want you here!
Amy, we've invited all your friends. It's gonna be a party!
AAmy
It's gonna be a "Look, Amy lives in garbage!" party.
Exactly. It's got a theme.
Amy (sarcastically): My popularity will soar. (to Erin): Maybe I'll even make head cheerleader like you, Aunt Erin, and peak at 17.
Titus (defensively): Hey, have a little respect for someone who went out of their way to get you a lice comb.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Titus pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.