LSLincoln's Ghost
My Lincoln sense is tingling! Manstrong's making his move!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Svengali!
No, no, this is not what it looks like!
First Anna, and now my mother? Have you no shame, you... you Mandingo? (takes of blazer and gets into fighting stance) Okay, get up! Were doing this! You and me, Samson! Right now! Let's go!
Come on, man. You know I'm just gonna beat you stupid. I've done it before.
A sucker punch! This time, "schoolyard rules." No cheap shots!
This is ridiculous! Your mother just...
No mothers!
LSLincoln's Ghost
(diving at Manstrong) Here comes the Rail-Splitter!!
LSLincoln's Ghost
(after getting shot in the head by Mrs. Manstrong) AHHH! DAMMIT!! NOT AGAIN!!! WHY IN THE HEAD???
(seeing replay of crashing Gargantua-1) I knew it! Told you this clown was no hero. He just blacked out in the middle of a hand job.
LSLincoln's Ghost
Uh oh.... Someone's playing with his Lincoln Log!
MY GOD IT'S FULL OF STARS!! (passes out)
LSLincoln's Ghost
Penny for his thoughts.
(to the Ghost of Abraham Lincoln) You're still here. Shouldn't you have crossed over?
DVDoctor Venture
Apparently stopping my bodyguard from beating up a repressed masturbator just isn't enough to get you into Heaven these days. Go figure.
LSLincoln's Ghost
You're one to judge, Rusty... I seem to remember a certain fast-handed little red-head, sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom, score and a half years back?
DVDoctor Venture
All right...
LSLincoln's Ghost
(sing-song) Not that you did much sleeping.
DVDoctor Venture
(covers ears) Okay!
The Monarch continues to rebuild his villainous empire with the aid of his shadowy new Number 2, Dr. Henry Killinger, but #21 is suspicious of the deadly foreigner’s unctuous charms. Meanwhile, as Dr. Orpheus attempts to exorcise a Japanese demon from Dr. Venture, a mysterious woman from Doc’s past resurfaces...and she’d kill to find out where Hank and Dean are.
(evil laughter, grabs an office worker) Where is he?! WHERE IS VENTURE?!
OWOffice Worker
Venture?
2#21
Dude, no, stop!! There's been a mistake!
Oh, what now?!
2#21
This isn't the secret Venture compound. It's your accountant's office.
Wha... Are you kidding?? That was like my best entrance ever!!
2#21
Yeah, it was excellent!
2#24
Very impressive!
This sucks! (calls to other henchmen) Alright. Wrong address, wrong address. Everybody back in the cocoon!
2#21
So, uh... Should we, uh...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take the pens, and the post-its, and the, uh, copy paper! You always need copy paper. And get that security tape!! I want a Quicktime of my minty-fresh entrance posted on my homepage BY TOMORROW!!
I must consort a higher power!! Wait here while I go to my daughter's closet.
Forgive me, but the problem is one of planning, not one of armament. Mr. The Monarch already has a dazzling armory. What he needs is a strategist. A man of his prestige cannot simply go after an enemy all willy-nilly.
2#21
You can't give an enema a free willy what?
Shut up, 21. You might learn something from this guy.
What you need is a second-in-command who understands the intricacies of organized villiany. This I can offer you.
Perfect! You're hired, uh... number...
Number Killinger. Doctor Henry Killinger. And this is my Magic Murder Bag.
Hey, have you seen the boys? They were supposed to be practicing for their road test but it looks like they forgot the car part. What, uh... what are you guys, uh... into there?
Orpheus is making me follow that magic head thing I told you about.
We're very close to divining its will!!
Aww, he's got you doin' it now. You guys are cute together. I'm going to go look for the boys. (to himself) Story of my life.
It stopped! It seems interested in this automobile. Tell me, is it associated with some recent sin of yours?
Pfft. I wish. I can't remember the last time I got lucky in that car. Unless you count the dollar I found under the seat.
The Venture problem is very volatile. We must approach it with caution, but first we need to address other drastic issues. The floating cocoon is in bad need of...
2#24
The cocoon's fine! I think the problem is you!
2#21
He's right! Yeah, everybody just thinks you're sooo great, but you're just sooo not!
2#24
Yeah! Who do you think you are?
2#21
I mean, come on! This guy just waltzes in here with his huge baby-bearing hips and he starts changing everything.
That's not fair. I never chose my figure.
2#24
Oh, that's right! Come on in! Don't knock or anything. After all, I only live in a cocoon with 80 guys and no women. So there's NO chance I'd be masturbating...
[H.E.L.P.E.R. beeps a comment while "When the Levee Breaks" is playing.]
Jock rock my ass! Listen to those lyrics, man. It's all about love and longing!
[H.E.L.P.E.R. responds.]
Yes.... and hobbits too. Look, it's a metaphor! They wrote about a lot of other stuff! Why am I arguing with a robot?
[H.E.L.P.E.R. responds.]
(Brock looks at his waistwatch)
Right up ahead.
(Brock gets out of the car)
Don't think we're done talking about this.
Oh, you're up! You can relax. The nightmare's finally over!
Um... no it isn't.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Venture Bros. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.