Zack, your theory of the origin of the universe is fascinating.
Really fascinating.
Ok, I can't take this, the theory of the universe is the string theory, not the string cheese theory.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Jessica, you're leading again.
I'm leading because you're hesitating.
Well, I'm hesitating because you keep critising me.
I'm criticzing you because you're not doing it right.
I'm not doing it right because you're yelling.
You're the one who's yelling. (turns away from each other)
Ow! You stepped on me again!
I stepped on you because your foot is not supposed to be there.
That's where you lead me!
Ha! It'd be easier to lead a donkey!
Why are being so rude to my sister?
Oh, like it's my fault she pushes me around like a bulldozer.
(gasps) I will not be spoken to that way!
No, we won't!
(Janice & Jessica start to leave)
Wait, that was a compliment.
How?
I have no idea.
(When Carey, London, and Lance show up for Esteban's ballroom dance lessons)
What are you all doing here?
Cody said you were teaching dance and we couldn't wait to learn from the great Esteban.
So he told you I was desperate for money and you took pity on me.
Pretty much.
And I'm okay with that.
Okay!
Ooh, sign me up, too! I have a whole closet full of ballroom dancing clothes I finally get to wear, then throw out.
(coughing) Is this the ballroom dance class?
Oh, yes, it is. Are you here to enroll?
Yes. My doctor told me I needed some exercise, but my nurse Shannon won't let me chase her around the living room anymore. (starts crying) I'll be all right.
MMrs. Mayweather
(to Esteban) Why can't I be your partner?!
'Cause you're with me now, baby. And we're gonna dance 'till I'm blue in the face.
MMrs. Mayweather
Well, that won't take long. You were out of breath when you walked in the room.
Okay, everyone. Let's go over what dance each couple will be doing. London, Lance, what do you feel comfortable doing?
Shopping.
Swimming.
I meant what dance.
The swim.
The shop.
The Samba it is.
Lori? Where'd she go?
SShannon
Well, she said you were all pathetic losers and left.
(Everyone starts protesting)
What did she say?!
MMrs. Mayweather
You were a pathetic loser.
Oh.
What's wrong with Janice?
She's got noodle arms. It's like dancing with spaghetti. I'll never win the junior division with her.
Then why should I take her?
'Cause you'll never win with anyone.
That is... probably true.
[to Cody] Why is she still here?
To remind you not to see anything inappropriate, like Bullet Sandwich or Zombie Mom.
Fine, but when you pick us up, no hugging and no calling us "my little men."
Why don't you just rip my heart out?
I think that's how Zombie Mom ends.
I gotta say, you were right about going to see Zombie Mom. All though I found the storyline was thin and the blood-drinking scene gratuitous, it scared the snot out of Janice. And she held on to me the whole time.
Yeah, great flick.
I could tell you liked it by your screaming.
I wasn't screaming. I was cheering. [Cody moves to turn the light off.] Don't you turn off that light!
Or what, you'll "cheer" again?
What's with all the candy? Looks like a pinata threw up.
We haven't even had our first meeting yet, and you're already breaking the rules?
Look, I didn't join to follow a bunch of dopey rules. I joined so I could tie knots, climb things and start campfires.
Basically, all the stuff you do in my lobby.
This is no picnic, ma'am.
It is a tough, macho journey into the deep dark unknown.
TAXI!
Cody, didn't I tell you to tie our food and hang it from a tree?
Since you promoted me to Koala bear, I decided to delegate it to an underbear. So I told Bob to do it.
And I told Warren to do it.
And I forgot to do it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Suite Life of Zack & Cody pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.