What the fuck is wrong with you?
What?
You tell some fuckin' goober your life story? We're supposed ta be layin' low!
TV show quotes
What the fuck is wrong with you?
What?
You tell some fuckin' goober your life story? We're supposed ta be layin' low!
(Jameel brings pictures for Uncle Junior to sign) What do you do with those Jameel?
Autographed pictures of the man who capped Tony Soprano? Shit, them mother fuckers go right on ebay.
(Junior is playing checkers with Carter) Heh. Checkers. The thinking man's game.
You lookin' for a smack in the fuckin' mouth.
Corrado. Language please.
What do you want?
If you'd move, perhaps I can reach the chess set.
And if I don't, what the fuck you gonna do then?
You don't intimidate me.
Corrado?
You're lucky she's here you little prick.
Naturally, you're only tough when there's an authority figure nearby so things won't go too far. Oh, how the mighty have fallen- (Uncle Junior beats the crap out of the patient) Ahhhh! Ahh!
Corrado!!!
Get 'im! Get 'im!
How do ya like that, huh, fuckin' tough guy?! How do ya like that?! I'm gonna kill this prick!
How are you feeling?
Fine.
Maybe you can clear something up. Dr. Mendel says you've been acting aggressively toward other patients.
First of all, that is total fucking bullshit.
Carter.
And secondly, why don't you just lead off with that?
What are you talking about?
Instead of pretending you give a shit how I feel.
Now apparently, you are becoming a bully. Dr. Mendel feels you're modeling your actions on the wrong people.
Really, like who?
You know who. That gangster. (Referring to Uncle Junior)
You of all people should know not to believe what you read in the paper...all that crap they wrote about daddy.
That was the Wall Street Journal. It was entirely different.
It's never enough, is it? My whole time at M.I.T., you told me, get out and make friends, now I finally do learn to assert myself a little...suddenly that's a negative!
Listen, I gotta bring this up.
A favor already?
'Scuse me?
Anthony, you always have business on your mind. Take a night. Smell the cognac.
Marie Spatafore came ta see me. She wants a hundred grand ta relocate on the count o' Vito Junior already has his own social worker.
Pattie told me there was doin's. I guess the turd doesn't fall far from the faggot's ass.
That's beautifully put. But, you're family right? Cousins?
What can you do, throw money at the problem?
Well somebody's gonna.
I'll talk ta the kid. Set 'im right.
Good.
I don't know...I look at my key guys...Paulie, Christopher, my brother-in-law, what's number one on their agenda, you know? They're all fuckin' murderers for chrissakes.
Did you hear the one about the Jewish terrorist? He was gonna hijack a plane but he didn't wanna use his miles.
(to Carlo Gervasi) Maybe you should start suckin' cock instead o' watching TV land, 'cause Vito brought in three times what you do on construction. Yeah! And I didn't have this fuckin' problem!
Speakin' o' loads. Hear the latest on Vito Junior.
What?
Marie called. He got expelled 'cause he took a shit in the shower in gym class.
Oh!!!
That sick little fuck!
You should see 'im. The makeup. Now without school, Marie says he's shut in his room all day.
Probably thinkin' about how ta pull a Columbine.
Anthony?
What?
I am making French Toast.
I'm not hungry. Jesus, how many times are you gonna ask me?
You heard the term "Comfort Food." Maybe it'll make you feel better.
I know this is hard for you to believe, but food may not be the answer to every problem.
Well, neither is actin' like a whiny little bitch.
What d'ya say we take a ride...little prime rib, on me.
Maybe next time.
What, are you watchin' your cholesterol now too?
Lower your voice! I got neighbors!
Fuck your neighbors! When you gonna pay me?
When you suck the money outta my ass! Now get the fuck out!
Listen, I gotta talk ta you!
Now?
It can't wait T, this fuckin' Paulie!
What happened?
He sent his idiot nephew and Jason Molinaro ta my father in law's store. They boosted a power to power source.
They did?
Yeah. Not exactly, Al caught 'em while they were there.
So, they did or did not take the source?
They did. Under false pretense.
And this is what you couldn't wait ta talk ta me about?
They broke inta the guy's store T!
Yeah, I hear ya, I get it. But we're in the middle o' talkin' about an ongoing potentially multi million dollar proposition here Christopher.
It ain't the money Ton'.
Oh really? Well I'm glad ya feel that way. Power ta drills, you believe this shit? Go have a Live Ricky or whatever the fuck it is you're drinkin' these days and we'll be done in a few minutes.
Forget it, alright! I got other shit ta do!
How you doin' kid?
How's Little Paulie?
He's fucked up. He got your flowers though.
Good. Listen Paulie-
Forget it, okay? Shit happens, what are ya gonna do. There's no point ruminatin'.
You're right, I just wanted ta say I'm sorry.
Me too.
(on phone) Alright, listen. Sweetheart, there's been an accident, We were comin' back from the city and Christopher's dead.
(on phone) (Gasps) Oh my God!!!
Alright...Carm...
What happened?
He drove off the road...and...and...and the car flipped over and...look, I'll tell you in detail.
Are you okay?
I just banged my knee, you know the one from High School, I'm fine, but...he wasn't wearin' a belt.
So where are you, Saint Claire's.
Listen, they're gonna call Kelli, if they haven't already...and...just get Al and Rita on the phone...and get 'em started already.
Alright. Alright. Oh my God, Tony. He's dead?!
(pause) Yeah.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Sopranos pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.