[at the evidence locker] Let's see... Present for Ralph, present for Ralph... Ooh, what do we have here? [grabs a crossbow] Boy, Ralph would kill himself with this in two seconds. And somehow it'd be my fault.
“Simprovised” · Season 27
In this episode: Bart Simpson (4), Homer Simpson (3), Marge Simpson (3), Chief Wiggum (2), Lisa Simpson (1), Nelson Muntz (1), Lou (1), Mrs. Muntz (1)
[Chief Wiggum leaves the evidence locker whistling and encounters with Lou]
Uh... You heard me whistling there, right? That indicates innocence.
Uh.. Proclaiming your innocence indicates guilt.
Uh, yeah? Well, what does that mean? Skiddily bop and bah!
[he runs outside the door, enters on a car and drives away]
Okay, so, at a Ralph party, always get to the cake before...
[they see the cake deformed as Ralph's face]
Too late!
Oh my treehouse sucks.
Haw-Haw! You have class envy!
Nelson, honey, I told you to stop sayin' "haw-haw".
Give me a dollar and I'll stop.
I don't got a dollar!
Haw-Haw!
Do you want to practice your speech on me?
[chuckles] No need, honey! Same speech I give every year. The opening joke about Lenny's grandma always kills.
You can't joke about her. They just put her on life support.
What?! No! She's the linchpin!
It's okay, it's okay. Everyone is terrified of public speaking. But just in case, I'll defrost a failure ham.
You don't have faith in me! I have savers! If I get heckled, I'll say, "Get a half-life!".
[Marge stares at him]
I'm sure that'll be funny to them.
Ooh. Throwing away your "No Girls" sign? Is it time for you to have "the talk" with your dad? Because he's gonna have to read a few things first.
No! I'm tearing it down. Ralph has a cool treehouse, and mine sucks.
Well, Bart, your father built it, and he did the very best he could.
[a flashback shows Homer building the treehouse on a sapling]
I did my job. Now it's your turn, tree! Get growing!
I'll tell you what, why don't I spruce it up for you? Huh?
But you're an inside grown-up. Moms can't build treehouses.
You realize that saying that is gonna make this mom work her keister off to make you the best darn treehouse you ever saw!
Sounds good!
[during Gracie Films/20th Century Fox logos] Waiting on the pants. Oh Bart, not culottes! No!
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