MMoe
Homer stole our rock performers! That fat, dumb, and bald guy sure plays some real hardball.
“A Tale of Two Springfields” · Season 12
In this episode: Homer Simpson (3), Bart Simpson (2), Marge Simpson (1), Lisa Simpson (1), Moe Szyslak (1), Kent Brockman (1)
C'mon, Lis, there's gotta be a way to lure that badger out.
Well, according to whatbadgerseat.com, badgers subsist primarily on a diet of stoats, voles, and marmots.
[hunts through the kitchen cabinets] Hmm, stoats... stoats ...
Stoats are weasels, Bart. They don't come in cans.
Then what's this? [triumphantly holds up a can]
That says corn, Bart.
Must you embarrass me?
[Homer tries to call Animal Control but gets a special information tone]
RRecording
Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please make sure you have the correct area code.
Area code? But it's a local call!
The phone company ran out of numbers, so they split the city into two area codes. Half the town keeps the old 6-3-6 area code, and our half gets 9-3-9.
9-3-9!? What the hell is that!!?? Oh, my life is ruined!
Geez, you just have to remember three extra numbers.
Oh, if only it were that easy Marge.
[about "New Springfield"] Scientists say they're also less attractive physically, and while we speak in a well-educated manner they tend to use low-brow expressions like "oh yeah?" and "come here a minute!"
Oh yeah? They think they're better than us, huh?! Bart, come here a minute.
You come here a minute!
Oh yeah?
[Homer looks at his hand which reads Lenny = white, Carl = black]
[confused] Is that right?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.