Lynn Loud Sr quotes from The Really Loud House

Lynn Sr.

Yeah, Right. I can Barely get 'Em to sing with Me.

Lynn Sr.

(in Jealousy) It sure would... (Realizes he's Using normal accent) l mean... [in German accent] Jawohl, it Certainly would. (He and Walter make an Applause)

Lynn Sr.

Order! Order!

Rita

Zip it, people! [the kids quiet down] Your father said order.

Lynn Sr.

That I did. Now. [clears throat] As some of you may have heard…

[deadpan] We know. Tomorrow's your half-birthday.

Lynn Sr.

Tomorrow is my half-birthday, but that's not what this meeting's about. But feel free to mark it on your calendars. [chuckles] Moving on. Lucy…

Lucy

[as her siblings look at her] What?

Lynn Sr.

…has been up for three days straight, and last night she scared the bejeezus out of me. So, there's gonna be a new rule around here.

Lincoln

[to the viewers] Probably gonna be no more sneaking up on people.

Lucy

[slides next to him and jumpscares him] You think so?

Lincoln

You really should start wearing a bell.

Lynn Sr.

And the new rule is… Everyone goes to bed before midnight, not one minute later.

Lincoln

NOOOO! This isn't fair! It's Lucy's fault! Why should we have to suffer?! [he and all his sisters start protesting]

Lynn Sr.

Order! Order! Don't make me have to count! Here we go! One, two--

Rita

[holds up her fist, silencing the siblings] You did it, honey.

Lynn Sr.

Sorry I had to be so harsh with them. In this house, it's all for one and one for all.

Rita

And Lucy's not the first kid to make a mistake.

Lynn Sr.

Yeah, Mom's right. You've all been responsible for new rules around here.

Lynn Sr.

I am having such a good time. [chuckles] Lynn, how's that beef baguette in a bread bowl?

Great! Perfect pre-game meal for my hockey championship tomorrow. Carbo load! [keeps eating]

Rita

You still need to chew carbs, sweetie.

[mouth full] I do?

Lynn Sr.

[inspecting Leni's sunburned arm] What did I tell you about sunbathing on the roof?

Leni

Don't fall off.

Lynn Sr.

Just pour some of this on it.

Leni

Ranch dressing?

Lynn Sr.

Uh-uh. Cool ranch.

Lincoln

Order! Order! Order!

Lynn Sr.

Is he allowed to call family meetings now?

Rita

This better be important. [sighs as Lily suddenly starts bawling off-screen] Lily's on a sleep strike. We only slept 28 minutes last night. Oh, we should do the stroller trick.

Lynn Sr.

Mm-hm.

Lincoln

I've called this family meeting to address the constant infringement on my personal space, A.K.A. my bedroom. Which isn't very big to begin with.

Lana

Your room's not that small.

Lincoln

Lana, I have to step outside to change my mind.

Lynn Sr.

[chuckles] You know, I should tell more jokes in my family meetings. [Rita gives him a stern look] I'll get the stroller.

Luna

Lincoln, you're the only one without a roommate.

Clyde

I beg to differ. I'm here quite often, and this morning, my cubby had an engine block in it.

Lana

That's a carburetor, dude.

Clyde

Great. That's much more normal.

Lincoln

[terrified as he and Clyde are being watched by Boris in a cloak and holding a scythe] Clyde, I think we've bored ourselves to death.

Lynn Sr.

Where is the entrance to the underworld? [Lincoln and Clyde slowly look at each other in confusion] The basement?

Lucy

[appearing near the basement] Welcome, fellow Morticians' Club members. Darkness and snacks await you. [escorts her mortician friends down to the basement] This meeting will commence by acknowledging those members who are sadly not with us. Bertrand and Morpheus are at their callback for "Guys and Dolls"-- congrats to them both-- and Persephone is at Kumon.

[raises his hand] Is today show-and-tell?

Lucy

Dante, for the last time, it's not called show-and-tell. It's called share-and-scare.

Clyde

And we're rolling.

Lincoln

This is gonna be the greatest Mother's Day ever.

Lynn Sr.

And now for the star of the show: Mom's favorite breakfast fajitas. [carefully removes the fajitas from the oven] Sorry, dads everywhere. Here we go. This was a great idea, Lynn.

Lana

This was my idea.

You said Mexican food. I had the idea for the smokin' fajitas.

Lucy

I had the idea to burn the toast.

Leni

Okay, well, it was my idea to use the plate.

Lynn Sr.

[stopping the arguing] Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! It is Mother's Day. I get half the credit, and you divide the rest by 11.

Lynn Sr.

That is not the face of a Happy Mother's Day.

Lisa

That definitely stung.

Lynn Sr.

Now while I bear a quarter of the blame, the rest is yours divided by eleven.

What?!

Lana

I mean, it was Lynn's idea to do the fajitas.

Yeah, because you said Mexican food.

Lana

That was after the fact that you said…

Lynn Sr.

Okay, okay, alright, alright, alright! Let's not play the blame game! We all had a hand in this.

Lincoln

Not me and Clyde. We didn't mess up.

Clyde

Yeah.

Lincoln

We just captured it on film.

Clyde

With excellent framing and crisp sound.

Lynn Sr.

Look, the point is, the greatest mom ever deserves the greatest Mother's Day ever.

Lana

She's the best.

Yeah, you're right, Pops.

Lynn Sr.

And now that her burns are healed, it's the perfect time for a redo. So you guys get busy with some fresh ideas, and I'm gonna go give Mom the good news.

Rita

I'm the judge.

Lynn Sr.

I'm the judge.

Rita

You never let me be the judge.

Lynn Sr.

This is a very, serious job, Rita.